To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

[duletty]

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

It isn't how it works at The Marsden.

@SimonJT - orthopaedic clinic and rheumatology do it all the time. It's awful.

@Alloverthegrapevine

We care about how women are referred to in every other situation but OP isn't allowed to question the language choice of a male doctor because she has to be eternally grateful to him for doing his job ?

Throughout this thread it has been made clear that men are referred to in the same way. This is not an issue about women.

Also the doctor's sex is not mentioned in the OP.

Some (IME older) doctors still do this.

I don’t and nor do my peers because it’s irrelevant. Whether you’re delightful or not, it’s not the point.

Patients I’ve cared for have tried to punch, kick and bite me. I don’t judge their characters when writing about them.

For the pp who pulled the attempted GOTCHA of ‘would they write this about a man?’ - the answer is yes.

I was once a medical secretary, so used to type these letters. I used to see it all the time

I've seen this on lots of dr letters, and it is normal for medical staff.

Non-medical sector, and I'd be bollocked for adding a personal opinion in writing about any staff member or visitors. 'Delightful' (spoken only!) Is definitely code for twat, watch yourself with them, if you're doing a handover, but sarcasm is rife.

Honestly people. It's old school traditional stuff that some older Drs do and it's dying out. It is harmless. There is no need to get so het up about it. There is no code. There is no difference in its use for men and women as many on this thread have testified. It's just a habit.

If you have to dictate 30 letters of a similar nature in a short space of time most of us will have a standard opening phrase. I just say 'I saw Mrs X in Y clinic on Z date and time'. It's a bit silly really. The date is on the letter as is the persons name I probably don't need to say it but it's just what I always say to get started.

I write stuff like 'she told me she has pain ..' on examination there was a 10cm lump' Some other Drs have a less discursive more note form style eg History: 'intermittent pain in LIF' Examination '10cm lump'. Everyone does what works for them within certain parameters.

You could complain to PALS if you really are upset and maybe the Dr will start their letters more blandly in future but I have to say I would let it go. They carried out a competent assessment and communicated it promptly and that is their main job.

I’ve never been called delightful in clinic letters. Oh well. They do always refer to my occupation though.

Why because it it's a doctor is it OK because it's "old school traditional"? Jim Davidson was once considered a family entertainer, things change, thank god.

Calling someone pleasant is old school in a non offensive sense. It might be unnecessary but it really cannot be compared to Jim Davidson's sexist, racist jokes. That is a ridiculous assertion.

I disagree, I think believing that someone being delightful is relevant to their medical treatment is very similar to the kinds of judgements acceptable back the day.

In that case, I'm going to suggest in an old school non-offensive way that everyone should stop expressing opinions on a chat forum and get back into the kitchen to keep an eye on the Sunday roast. Women! Know your place!

Well like it or not it probably is relevant.

I try to treat everyone just the same but it is in fact easier to treat people who are pleasant than those who are unpleasant. If they start screaming at you about the waiting time or the car park charges before you even start then it does make it harder to assess the actual medical issue.

I do not refer to their pleasantness or
otherwise in letters but I usually do have an opinion on it. You could say it's more hypocritical of me not to mention it.

I doubt it's unique to medicine. I expect lawyers and business people have pleasant and unpleasant clients and find the pleasant ones easier to deal with too. They just don't write it on letters

And nor do Drs mostly anymore as many Drs have said in this thread. It is dying out and is no longer advised but hardly worthy of a complaint I would have thought

Occupation is relevant in medicine due to the host of occupational illnesses and also the different impact of illness on different jobs.

You are supposed to ask everyone their occupation but it often gets forgotten.

It isn't sexist for the nth time
It is used of women and men just the same

Since the end of lockdown I’ve been sorting through the affairs of an elderly male relative who died earlier in the year, including about 20 years worth of medical letters written by various consultants to his GP.

Virtually all opened with...
‘Thank you for referring this lovely gentleman’
‘I saw this pleasant gentleman in x clinic today’
‘This delightful 87 year old gentleman attended y clinic with his niece today’ etc. etc.

It’s not a gender thing, it’s just something that the older generation of doctors do.

My husband has had cancer treatment for years now and frequently gets called a "delightful man" or similar on consultant's letters. I hope other posters are right about this being code for "not a wanker".

He is delightful. Mostly.

His consultant isn't old, by the way.

Theld may I ask if assuming patients are happy for their first names to be used when the dr is referred to by title is dying out too? I think that's got worse. I don't ever recall our family Dr using my mother's first name. If a Dr introduces themselves as Dr, Mr or Miss I don't expect them to use my first name. That s very much an equality issue. Likewise I have never heard a nurse refer to a Dr as Love, Sweetheart or Darling so why do they think it is the norm to refer to patients in that way. If a nurse refers to my Dr by title they should also refer to the patient by title. Especially in the NHS where everyone is supposed to be equal.

I am sorry that you have to deal with people who are rude or aggressive. That is unacceptable.

To be honest, it just made me smile, because he really was a pleasant, lovely and delightful man, and seeing that other people thought so too makes me happy.

I agree with everyone, it sounds so weird but it's standard doctor letter writing style. It doesn't reflect on what they thought of the patient at all, the words are chosen at random. At least with all the doctors I've worked with, there is no code to it either (eg, pleasant = annoying, lovely = smelly).

'Delightful' (spoken only!) Is definitely code for twat,

It really isn't.

Whether you're an arsehole or lovely, there's zero need for a doctor to code that in for any other medical professional. Why do they feel the need to forewarn unless it's to give a matching level of service?

Standard hospital speak. My neurologist's report to my doctor was along the same lines.

@feelingfragile

How about "I saw Mr. or Mrs. Thingy today". There is no need to add anything subjective. 
That's what they do if you're an arsehole*

But it's not the doctors job to make a personality assessment unless it's medically relevant. There could be lots of reasons why a patient with a health complaint might not be delightful or pleasant but might be frustrated, in pain, traumatised or scared. My gran was raped during the war, she was absolutely one of the sweetest, calmest people I ever met until she got dementia and a male doctor wanted to examine her vaginally. Think screaming, cursing and hitting. Not a delightful patient AT THAT APPOINTMENT, but very understandable if you knew her history and a delightful person for the other days of her 93 year life. She wasn't examined in the end, even with female family present it just wasn't doable. It's not up to a doctor to make a judgement. I think we all have our limits, and some limits are reached quicker than others.

While I do disagree that personality has no bearing on the course of treatment (maybe in medicine but not in elective surgery), I wholeheartedly agree about not referring to someone by their first name unless they’ve asked you to. I introduce myself as ‘miss more’ and I have the common courtesy to call them miss/Mrs/mr or whatever is indicated as their preferred title.

I think perhaps people are reading way too much into it - there’s not a secret handbook that stipulates we treat people depending on the adjective used to describe them - it’s just a more conversational way of dictating a letter.