To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

[duletty]

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

Nothing gets my goat as much as "Jane and mum", "are you Mum?". I'd have though Drs, educated to the nth degree should know it should be "Jane and her mum (or mother)" or "are you Jane's mum?". So often I have been tempted to say "no I'm not mum, I have the full power of speech but I am Jane's mum and you may call me Mrs Roses.

And why oh why in outpatients are the men called to their appointment as Mr Brown and the women as Jane Brown. And then the consultant says hello Jane I'm Mr Jones. "Oh how lovely to meet your Mr Jones, my name is Mrs Roses". It isn't friendly, it's a sexist microaggression and very reductive. Unbelievable how the NHS will always say they treat everyone the same.

You are described as delightful.
You don't have cancer.
You didn't have to pay for the investigation and review by consultant.
Yeah I can see why you're pissed off

How about "I saw Mr. or Mrs. Thingy today". There is no need to add anything subjective

Correct. And this is what I do write and so does everyone I know.

OP you are being very precious. You should be thankful that you do not have anything serious. If you had been told that you had breast cancer, would you have worried about being called delightful? Thank your lucky stars that you are well and don't be so precious. Pick your battles.

Who cares

On my notes recently the doctor looking after me wrote ‘that he had advised me the procedure I was having would likely kill me, but he would carry it out anyway’ The nurses in pre assessment and recovery were shocked!

We care about how women are referred to in every other situation but OP isn't allowed to question the language choice of a male doctor because she has to be eternally grateful to him for doing his job ?

This is standard and I have no idea why anyone should be offended by it. The alternative completely factual list for example:

Name:

Investigation:

Diagnosis:

Is far worse.

This is the language they have used for generations. Would you rather they said they’d seen this over sensitive stroppy woman!

I overlooked my notes left open on the computer screen a few years back when the GP had left the room. I've had chronic pain for 30yrs and told him I'd tried an alternative health therapist. My notes said, "She's seen a witch doctor, no surprise it didn't work, stupid woman". I was too shocked to comment.

I couldn’t get worked up about that.

I was referred to as cheery in one of mine, I can only assume cheery is doctor speak for miserable bastard.

"This is the language they have used for generations" . Doesnt make it OK. There's a lot changed about the language that's considered acceptable in the last generation or two. When I started work it was perfectly acceptable to nickname black colleagues Chalky and to advertise for a "bubbly" girl Friday.

And why oh why in outpatients are the men called to their appointment as Mr Brown and the women as Jane Brown.

They aren't.

I've had quite a lot of outpatient appointments over the past year or so in two different hospitals and have never been addressed by anyone as Mr Dancre. Male & female patients are called in exactly the same way.

@user1497787065

This is standard and I have no idea why anyone should be offended by it. The alternative completely factual list for example:

Name:

Investigation:

Diagnosis:

Is far worse.

Why? That is exactly what I'd expect to see. It's a medical report. It needs to be concise, accurate and unambiguous, not woven into a nice story.

And why oh why in outpatients are the men called to their appointment as Mr Brown and the women as Jane Brown.

They aren't. Hospital I go to has a policy of calling first and second name, eg "Joe Bloggs" or "Jane Bloggs"- I assume to stop two people with the same surname being confused. They wait for you to come over and ask you to confirm your DOB and address, anyway.

we care about how women are referred to in every other situation but OP isn't allowed to question the language choice of a male doctor because she has to be eternally grateful to him for doing his job ?

But that's being very selective over the issue as FEMALE consultants (I've had 'lovely' and 'pleasant') use the same language and also use it for MALE patients (DH has had both 'pleasant' and 'charming') This is being made a sexist issue when it isn't one.

Also to the PP who asked about why outpatients are addressed as 'Mr. Xxxx' if men or by their first names of a woman. We've only ever had full names for both so this isn't standard a protocol.

Meant to add- apparently you can ask at reception to be called using an alias if you want. I wonder if you can choose your own? I might choose a funny one next time if so.

I was referred to as cheery in one of mine, I can only assume cheery is doctor speak for miserable bastard.

I'm waiting for one to describe me as "friendly": then I'll know for certain they're taking the piss.

I'm not a medic but as one distinct part of my role send out a lot of standard, polite emails essentially chasing progress.

I always use 'lovely' because they are and because it makes it easy to search for these emails, with the reference number and 'lovely'. There are heaps with the reference number, only one also with 'lovely'

And why oh why in outpatients are the men called to their appointment as Mr Brown and the women as Jane Brown.

That isn’t something I have personally experienced, I have always been called by my fullname in hospital and at my doctors surgery. Maybe it depends on the area of the country you are in?

@WallyDancre

At St George's Hospital, Tooting they are. Also at Kingston Hospital, where I have never seen more reductive attitudes towards women in my entire life than at the one stop breast clinic. We were shouted at, given incorrect information and totally dehumanized - all made to sit in a hospital gown without a bra waiting for hours. It was utterly despicable and totally disorganised.

@Alloverthegrapevine

We care about how women are referred to in every other situation but OP isn't allowed to question the language choice of a male doctor because she has to be eternally grateful to him for doing his job ?

Blimey, that's a bit of a reach 😂

@OhTheRoses I used regularly go to the Thomas Addison unit, I have never been called Mr, I have always been called by my full name. I’m not seen at St Barts and again I’m never called Mr.

dehumanized - all made to sit in a hospital gown without a bra waiting for hours.

At... The breast clinic? This is how breast clinics work!

Also, not quite sure how this is dehumanising. I don't believe not wearing a bra is denying the right of 'humanness'.

Hopefully you'll have a smoother appointment next time x

How about "I saw Mr. or Mrs. Thingy today". There is no need to add anything subjective

Exactly. You’re not there to charm them with your personality. You’re there to be diagnosed.

I work in a corporate job and the tone of communication is polite and professional. This kind of bollocks sounds very weird to my ears.