Why does MN hate smokers so much?

[PalmTreesPurple]

Not all of MN of course but I’ve seen a lot of negativity about it. I understand not liking smoking yourself because of the health issues, I’m a smoker after giving up for nearly a year and I was stupid to start again but it’s a nasty addiction to kick. I only smoke outside, in designated smoking areas, and never around people who are eating/close to other people. I also don’t smoke in places like parks or walking through town. It is either in my garden or in a designated spot. Would a smoker like that bother you, or is it people who don’t have any courtesy, or do you just not like smokers in general?

Not being aggressive at all, just very interested.

Would also like to know if anyone on here smokes themselves?

"How would you even know? Do you hand out those questionnaires like at the GP to new acquaintances?"

"Anyone with a sense of smell knows."

Yes, you can smell them a mile off. You see, smokers think we are being nasty and insulting when we tell them this, but we are just saying the truth. The op wants to know so we are telling her.

@Nanny0gg, you hate the habit though. You haven't attacked the people who are victims of it.

People who took up smoking many years ago, like your mum presumably, were bombarded with advertising, and representations in the media which encouraged people to take up smoking. It is a terrible addiction and one which is very hard to break. I smoked at university in the early noughties, but not long enough to become addicted thank God. But I know people who huge up heroin who have said fags are harder to quit. Cigarettes used to be widely advertised and widely available in shops, which makes it harder as well.

I also hate the habit and hate the companies which made a mint out of getting people addicted to a habit which was addictive and very likely to kill them.

I do not hate smokers. Even if I'd never even tried a drag of a cigarette in my entire life, I would feel the same. I know this, because I obviously haven't tried heroin or crack and, much as I hate those drugs and what they do to people, I do not hate the addicts as they are a very sad product of the terrible addiction which they have fallen victim to. I know that, had my upbringing, MH, home environment, school environment been different, there is every chance I might have fallen into drug use or addiction. There but for the grace of God...

Yes, you can smell them a mile off. You see, smokers think we are being nasty and insulting when we tell them this, but we are just saying the truth. The op wants to know so we are telling her.

Yes, you can probably smell of someone is a current smoker, but how about people who haven't smoked for a couple of years, ten years, twenty years? If you already had a relationship with that person, would you write them off completely because they used to smoke, even though they no longer do and haven't for some time?

Tbh, I'm struggling to think of what sort of friendships or relationships you have, with ugly views likes yours, but who knows? No accounting for taste and all that.

Yes, you can smell them a mile off. You see, smokers think we are being nasty and insulting when we tell them this, but we are just saying the truth. The op wants to know so we are telling her

I agree. Its not being nasty to say you can smell tobacco on people. I mean, why wouldnt you? Tobacco has lots of toxic chemicals in it like tar- is it really that shocking you would smell those chemicals after they've been inhaled deep into the lungs of a person and left residue on their hands, and clothing. You can always smell it. Always. Its not shocking or nasty to say that, its pretty bloody obvious considering what tobacco has in it.

Mn is middle class and judgy. That being said, I’m an ex smoker and I now think it’s smelly, bad for your health and a waste of money. That didn’t stop me smoking for many years though as it is an addiction.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with iq. People from all walks of life and all mental capabilities do things that are bad for them.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter, that poster was talking about FORMER smokers. Not people who have just had a fag that day or that week. Even people who quit decades ago. She says they are "infected", because they once smoked. Ever smoked. Not recently. Hope that clarifies, just before you get too enthusiastic about laying into smokers.

I grew up with one side of my family as smokers. I look back and see how crappy that was sometimes. We’d be sat together and we’d all have to sit outside in all weathers freezing so that everyone could smoke. If we went for a meal they’d all leave the table after each course to go for a smoke, leaving me sat on my own waiting for them all to return and when they did I’d have to catch up on the conversation. Or one incredibly annoying time when we went to a huge water park abroad and after every slide we’d have to go traipsing all the way back to the lockers for them to smoke a disgusting cigarette then traipse all the way back. It was a very long day.
I also hate it when we have smoker friends round for a bbq because no matter how many ashtrays I leave out they always leave their butts littered around the garden. (Why don’t smokers consider butts litter?!) so I have to go around in the morning picking them up before letting the hens out to roam. Then when we are wandering around the airport together and we have to run around looking for a bloody smoking area instead of just mooching round shops and relaxing.
I’m glad I’ve grown up and have a DH that hates smoking as much as me because I don’t have to put up with it anymore and I won’t let my DS suffer it either.

@branchandpoppy

Ah I see. Thats a bit OTT for me. But I do see lots of defensive posts saying others cannot smell their smoking even when they've just done it, which is ridiculous.

I think the main issue with smoking is- passive smoking affects other people's health. If, every time i had a glass of wine, it detrimentally affected someone else's liver, I wouldnt really blame them for feeling a tad pissed off, you know?

"08:41BranchAndPoppy

Oh my sweet jesus.dolphinis a teacher?! "

No dear. You need to understand how these threads work and read them properly. I said upthread that when opening envelopes, they stank to high heaven if the person had been a smoker. A teacher then agreed with me and said she had the same with school books for marking and she could tell which books came from kids whose parents smoked and she felt forry for them. Then another teacher seconded that, saying a child in her class's bookbag stank of fags. So, I'm not a teacher, no. You need to learn how quote Mark's work.

"Holy fuck. That is terrifying. Those poor children she teaches"

Again, I'm not a teacher, but 2 teachers on here have said how they feel sorry for kids whose parents smoke, because they can smell it on their books.

"Honestly, what I've read fromdolphinon here is some of the most intolerant, unkind, evil venom I think I've ever seen on MN, (other than things clearly written by trolls). I hope to god she gets help for her serious problems. And they are indeedherproblems."

That's rather strange as if you read the whole thread you will see quite a lot of people hate smoking. The op has asked why, and I've explained it. Its intolerant to me. It repulsed me. That's the best way to describe it. I havent been nasty to anyone, just saying what I feel.

"dolphin, you can pull all the yuck faces like you're driving past a field of muck all you like and go on about how disgusting smokers or even former smokers are."

Yes I can and I will.

"You are coming across a very nasty, twisted individual. If I knew anyone who expressed these views IRL, I honestly would give them an enormous wide birth for life."

You wont though will you. This is mn and the op asked why people hard smoking, so I've told her. I wouldnt tell anyone this in real life.

"Despite saying you have sympathy for those addicted to other substances, you have called addiction a weakness which you find disgusting."

Well yes, that's my view.

"Well, I and others on here find your views truly disgusting and abhorrent."

Good for you.

"At the minute I'm imagining your nasty, cruel face and pulling a face as if I've driven last a field of muck and rotten meat. To borrow your terminology"

So you are trying to say my comments are nasty, when yours are just as nasty. Makes sense.

" I hope you do state these views in real life please, just on the off chance I ever meet you and at least then, I'll know to run like hell in the other direction."

If you are smoking, I will be nowhere near you.

Yep @DolphinandDuck, I actually will be as nasty as you about someone like you, who holds and openly expresses such disgusting views as you do.

You, on the other hand, feel you have the right to be nasty, based purely on someone being addicted to an addictive substance. Something which is designed to hook humans and get them to continue with a habit which kills them.

You have displayed your views on here for all to see. I dont have to get to know you to decide whether or not you are a decent person. I know you aren't. You know nothing about smokers except what your nasty prejudice tells you and you have been very free and enthusiastic about expressing that prejudice.

I know addicts who are very decent human beings, who just struggle with their addiction. If I read anyone saying what you have said about addicts of any substance I would think the person saying those things absolutely needed to be given a wide birth and, in the spirit of 'we are on mumsnet, so we are being as honest as can be, as it's anonymous', I will state my honest views on people like you freely, while not resorting to personal attacks.

"Yes, you can probably smell of someone is a current smoker, but how about people who haven't smoked for a couple of years, ten years, twenty years? If you already had a relationship with that person, would you write them off completely because they used to smoke, even though they no longer do and haven't for some time?"

Once I know they were a smoker I automatically think less of them. To me, that's it, my view has changed once that piece of info goes in my head I cant get rid of it. I'm thinking "they smoked" and "how disgusting". It stays with me and I can no longer associate with that person. It's like I've just found out they've committed a murder or something. That's how bad it is for me. I detest it so much. I just see that person as tainted somehow.

I don't hate smokers but I have little time for their habit. I am old enough to remember smoking in cinemas, public transport, restaurants, pubs and night clubs. I remember the stink of my clothes and my hair the morning after a night out, I remember finding burn holes in my coat due to some careless smoker, I remember in poorly ventilated bars my eyes stinging or me getting a sore throat. Most of all though I remember the collective 'fuck you' attitude of smokers when you were politely asked if maybe they could not light up half way through my maincourse when eating out or when stuck next to you on the train. I remember the entitled put out look when I told some smokers that I would rather they didn't smoke in my own home or in my car as if I was being the unreasonable party. Maybe if back in the day they showed a shred of consideration to the non smokers around them I would be a bit more tolerant. Sorry smokers, I have the world's smallest violin playing just for you.

Once I know they were a smoker I automatically think less of them. To me, that's it, my view has changed once that piece of info goes in my head I cant get rid of it. I'm thinking "they smoked" and "how disgusting". It stays with me and I can no longer associate with that person. It's like I've just found out they've committed a murder or something. That's how bad it is for me. I detest it so much. I just see that person as tainted somehow.

This is called prejudice. I feel very sorry for you and more so anyone who knows you, that you think this is acceptable.

Most of all though I remember the collective 'fuck you' attitude of smokers when you were politely asked if maybe they could not light up half way through my maincourse when eating out or when stuck next to you on the train. I remember the entitled put out look when I told some smokers that I would rather they didn't smoke in my own home or in my car as if I was being the unreasonable party. Maybe if back in the day they showed a shred of consideration to the non smokers around them I would be a bit more tolerant. Sorry smokers, I have the world's smallest violin playing just for you

Yes, I remember the exact same entitled attitude.

I'm a massive anti smoker who has found myself dating a smoker 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️ I hate smoking intensely

How? Why?

I posted up thread about my own feelings about smokers/smoking (my mum's health, surgery and extortionate cost that would have bought her current house outright over the years) and I absolutely cannot understand how anyone who 'hates smoking intensely' can find themselves dating a smoker.

It's on my list of non-negotiables when finding a new boyfriend. Would really influence my friendships too. Why, if you hate it so much, would you find yourself supporting someone who does this thing you hate?

"She says they are "infected", because they once smoked. "

No I said to me it's like they are infected. Theres a difference. Once I know, I cant get that thought out of my head. Maybe it's a phobia or something, as what I feel about smoking is on a whole different level to others. Unless others just wont say it how it is really. I did know a colleague who said she wouldnt sit next to a smoker colleague because in her words "she stank" and was "disgusting", so I think she felt the same as me.

Because it stinks, and it's proven to be incredibly damaging for your health?

I mean...that attitude did exist among some smokers. But it definitely doesn't now, as so few people smoke and when they do they have to, by law, do it in designated areas. When you band all smokers or any group of people together as one mass and dish them up a massive FUCK YOU BACK, because you resent how some of them used to behave, you are veering into the territory if generalizing and punishing entire groups of people for the misdemeanors of the vocal few of them. What you really should have railed against was the social norms that existed then. It was normal to smoke everywhere, so people thought it was ok to do it. People did rail and campaign against this and voila! Now it doesn't happen. So, maybe that's something to celebrate rather than frothing and being hateful.

Maybe it's a phobia or something, as what I feel about smoking is on a whole different level to others.

Yes, it is your prejudice. Lovely of you to wave it like a flag on this thread instead of sitting back and examining why you feel all strongly about this particular thing though, like anyone else would do.

Um.... because it causes cancer, even in people who aren’t smoking themselves but have the misfortune to be around it. Plus it reeks.

I’m surprised anyone needs to ask this. Maybe ask Roy castle’s widow why anyone might be against smoking 🤷‍♀️

@Muppetry76 I know. It was high on my list too. And on my dating profile I was clearly I was a non smoker. We started off as casually dating. He knew how I felt about smoking and so has been careful to keep it away from me and our dates. But then I realised I had feelings for him. And people are complex and their value is in more than one aspect of themselves/their choices. He is kind, generous, supportive, funny. Has lots of good qualities. So here we are...

And sitting next to a current smoker who currently stinks of fags, of course it stinks and is quite disgusting. That is nothing like what you have said.

@BranchAndPoppy

I mean...that attitude did exist among some smokers. But it definitely doesn't now, as so few people smoke and when they do they have to, by law, do it in designated areas. When you band all smokers or any group of people together as one mass and dish them up a massive FUCK YOU BACK, because you resent how some of them used to behave, you are veering into the territory if generalizing and punishing entire groups of people for the misdemeanors of the vocal few of them. What you really should have railed against was the social norms that existed then. It was normal to smoke everywhere, so people thought it was ok to do it. People did rail and campaign against this and voila! Now it doesn't happen. So, maybe that's something to celebrate rather than frothing and being hateful.

Sorry that was to @AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter and @DillonPanthersTexas.

I dont have any "fuck you" to smokers. I dont "hate" smokers at all.

I DO hate smoking though and dont want it around me- I do think its supremely selfish to expect anyone to put up with the smell and the smoke because it harms people and can cause cancer in the long term.
Its literally the only habit that not only affects your health but others health too. Therefore, its not exactly shocking people might look down on smokers is it?

"09:18BranchAndPoppy

Yep@DolphinandDuck, I actually will be as nasty as you about someone like you, who holds and openly expresses such disgusting views as you do.

You, on the other hand, feel you have the right to be nasty, based purely on someone being addicted to an addictive substance. Something which is designed to hook humans and get them to continue with a habit which kills them."

It's my view. I dont feel I'm being nasty by expressing my view, when the op has asked us to. I'm being openly honest about how I feel about smoking and smokers. I'm sorry you dont agree, but that's the way it is. I cant change my view.

"You have displayed your views on here for all to see"

Yes I have. I dont like smoking, I cant say it any other way. It's you who seems to have turned this into a personal thing.

" I dont have to get to know you to decide whether or not you are a decent person. I know you aren't."

You seem to be insulting me here, that's up to you, it doesnt really matter to me I still hate smoking.

"You know nothing about smokers except what your nasty prejudice tells you and you have been very free and enthusiastic about expressing that prejudice."

Yes I have. I dont see anything wrong with expressing how much I hate smoking.

"I know addicts who are very decent human beings, who just struggle with their addiction. If I read anyone saying what you have said about addicts of any substance I would think the person saying those things absolutely needed to be given a wide birth and, in the spirit of 'we are on mumsnet, so we are being as honest as can be, as it's anonymous', I will state my honest views on people like you freely, while not resorting to personal attacks."

Fair enough, you've got your view, I've got mine.