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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset and annoyed by voicemail

100 replies

YaWeeShit · 23/07/2020 20:20

I am currently furloughed but been in work for the past couple of weeks to prepare for re-opening - not a problem at all, I am happy to volunteer.

My employer rang me today and left a voicemail - then didn’t hang up correctly so I could hear her criticising me to a colleague. I am mortified, and feel incredibly angry that the texts I’ve had thanking me for helping clearly don’t mean a thing. I struggle with mental health issues and this has really tipped me over the edge.

So. As I’m not sure if I’m over reacting due to my anxiety, I’m braving AIBU - which granted may backfire spectacularly but I surely can’t feel worse than I do now Sad

OP posts:
Hanrora06 · 23/07/2020 21:06

Re the volunteering - they have been very careful not to ask people specifically- more a plea to see if anyone can do certain things. Is that allowed?

No it’s not allowed. They are manipulating people. So they’re asking people to go in and do work for them, while only paying you 80%, and then making you feel like that’s ok? Then have the nerve to criticise you behind your back and the fucking idiocy to not even hang up?? This makes me really angry. I’m so sorry, it must have been really hurtful. I’d be really upset as well. But mainly absolutely furious.

I’d contact citizens advice, and all the other agencies people have suggested. Save the voicemail somewhere safe so your phone doesn’t delete it.

OurChristmasMiracle · 23/07/2020 21:11

First of all stop “volunteering” just let their pleas fall on deaf ears. Unless they are actually asking you to go back to normal hours and paying you accordingly you shouldn’t be doing any work for them at all.

They’ve made you feel awful and are breaking the terms of furlough. I personally would be looking for a new role although I know that’s not likely to be easy under current circumstances.

FatherBrownsBicycle · 23/07/2020 21:12
Flowers What horrible people to work for. So sorry op. Please phone the GP again and ask again for an appointment, if receptionist say there aren’t any, please ask to be put in the duty drs list and say it’s mental health related.
ChrisPrattsFace · 23/07/2020 21:12

As my mum would say, you need to put your big girl pants on and stick up for yourself.

Itsjustabitofbanter · 23/07/2020 21:13

It’s kind of hard to advise without knowing what was said op

Hanrora06 · 23/07/2020 21:13

If no-one knows whether the criticism was just and deserved, there's nothing much anyone here can say.

If the criticism was just and deserved, they should say it constructively and professionally to your face in a proper meeting. Ignore this OP, you don’t have to tell us anything to get advice, and it’s irrelevant for us to know what it was really as we obviously know it wasn’t meant for you to hear and not acceptable for them to talk about at work. You may need to tell others to get proper support though but not on here.

TheMamaYo · 23/07/2020 21:16

It's horrible, isn't it? And you are not BU.

I remember when my life was falling apart after DV, I moved into an emergency women's refuge and had to give my work number to them.

One of the support workers called and obviously heard from my voice recording message that I worked as a manager. She also didn't put the phone down properly and I heard her made snide comments and 'oooooohh' noises. It hurt like hell.

So I get a little bit where you are coming from. It feels nasty and it is hurtful. Maybe write her an email and state what was on the message and how it made you feel. Let her explain herself.

Fruitsaladjelly · 23/07/2020 21:18

If you won’t tell us what was said then it’s impossible to give an opinion. This may not have even been about you.

AnnieCartwright · 23/07/2020 21:20

@SummerSazz

Under the furlough scheme you are not permitted to do any work for your employer whether you agree it is 'volunteering' or not. You can report them for misuse of the scheme Angry
Report her for fraud.
MNX42 · 23/07/2020 21:26

Your employers are committing fraud, so I'm not surprised they also have little respect for their employees.

fascinated · 23/07/2020 21:26

@Hanrora06

If no-one knows whether the criticism was just and deserved, there's nothing much anyone here can say.

If the criticism was just and deserved, they should say it constructively and professionally to your face in a proper meeting. Ignore this OP, you don’t have to tell us anything to get advice, and it’s irrelevant for us to know what it was really as we obviously know it wasn’t meant for you to hear and not acceptable for them to talk about at work. You may need to tell others to get proper support though but not on here.

Agree with this advice.

Sorry, OP. This is awful for you. So difficult in a small company but nothing else for it.

lilgreen · 23/07/2020 21:31

Agree with @Winterwoollies

AcrobaticCardigan · 23/07/2020 21:37

Sending hugs to you OP. Not a nice thing to deal with.

NeutrinoWrangler · 23/07/2020 21:38

YANBU to be upset, annoyed, and hurt.

If it's that small a company that there's no-one to report it to, I'd seriously consider looking for another job, as soon as possible. I think I'd have a hard time being happy working for/with someone if I knew they were talking about me behind my back. Of course, if it's not possible to change jobs, the best thing might be to try to put it behind you-- but I wouldn't do more than the minimum to keep my job, after that. No personal favours from here on out, and absolutely no volunteering!

And if/when you do leave this job, it could be satisfying to send the message back to them with a note to "listen until the very end", just to make them squirm.

Pobblebonk · 23/07/2020 21:40

Look for another job. If or when you get it and are settled in, shop them for their breach of the furlough rules.

Wattagoose90 · 23/07/2020 21:42

I wouldn't say anything but I'd send her a copy of the recording and leave the ball firmly in her court.

Do you like the job? If you were to leave the position are there other job opportunities available to you?

fascinated · 23/07/2020 21:48

Call her and say “I heard you left me a voicemail but it said it was 4 minutes long...weird, eh? Anyway for some reason I can’t access it right now..what was it you said?”

(this is my fantasy action - I probably wouldn’t have the guts to do it but I’d love to, just to hear her reaction....you might not feel strong enough to do it either, given that you said you felt a bit fragile ...)

5sacrowd · 23/07/2020 21:53

fascinated Maybe email & ask, it might be good to have something written.

I would do it.

Scarydinosaurs · 23/07/2020 21:53

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Are you job hunting now? I hope this helps push you to find somewhere that will appreciate you.

GiraffesAreBeautiful · 23/07/2020 21:53

DH is dealing with a case in work exactly like this. Your employer is bang out of order and I’d be taking it up with the board/trustees/shareholders.

Argggghhneedclarity · 23/07/2020 21:54

So sorry for youFlowers

fascinated · 23/07/2020 21:55

@5sacrowd

fascinated Maybe email & ask, it might be good to have something written.

I would do it.

Excellent idea.
SlightlyJaded · 23/07/2020 22:08

I am a bit of a coward in situations like this, but I couldn't just 'carry on' having heard it. I would email. Something along the lines of:

Dear XXX

Thanks for the email that you left yesterday. I'm sure you aren't aware but you left the recording running whilst you continued your conversation. I could clearly hear quite a few derogatory comments which obviously upset me, but also surprised me as you have been complimentary about my work over the past few months.

I am attaching a copy of the recording in case you need to refresh your memory. I obviously can't help how you feel about me personally, but if you'd like to discuss my shortcomings in a professional capacity, perhaps we could put a meeting in the diary?

Kind regards
OP.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 23/07/2020 22:09

OP is it a charity, if you were initially there in a voluntary capacity?

I’m sorry she was a bitch. 💐

Atthebottomofthegarden · 23/07/2020 22:10

Excellent email, Jaded