To not see a solution other than not using my garden?

[Cebr]

Or moving (which for various reasons I can't do).

My neighbours, family A (one side - other side are elderly and largely housebound) are arseholes of the highest order, as are their kids. They are pally with other neighbours, family B, between them they have 9 kids who are all pretty poorly behaved.

On a daily basis they ride bikes and scooters in my front driveway which is bad enough but the real issue is in the back garden.
As kids (often with Bs kids as they are in and out of each others gardens and houses constantly) deliberately throw balls, toys and indeed their rubbish into my garden.
They play ball up against my fence constantly (they broke the previous fence)
Let themselves into my garden - the gate is locked but they have climbed the fence before now
When I'm out in the garden they name-call me and my children. Or bang the fence constantly.
They sit on top of the fence and look into my house.

I hardly ever go in the garden now. What was a lovely space (it's a good size about 80ft x 40ft) is now completely overgrown.

I had a gardener round today and they all started banging on the fence. Then standing on it shouting for their ball etc. The guy said 'is it always like this?' and I said sadly yes. Wouldn't blame him for not taking the job!

I have in the past told the children to stop. This resulted in Dad B telling me he would sort me out if I ever spoke to his kids again. Mum and Dad A said kids were just being kids and they were doing no harm.

I contacted the police about the threat from B. They said as nothing had happened they wouldn't get involved. I explained about the kids but as they are all under 13 the advice was I should try not to antagonise the situation ie stay indoors. So that's what I've been doing.

I was hoping one or both families would move as they live in 2 bed houses but this doesn't look like happening anytime soon. I can't move. I would like to use the garden though but their behaviour makes it unbearable.

Is there anything else I can do to make it more tolerable? Or to stop me feeling sick every time I open the door hearing their screaming and banging, and seeing my fence shaking?

Christ, you poor thing. No advice but a handhold from me

Thanks, it's pretty bad. Especially on hot summer days when they're out until 9 or later.

What complete wankers. Do you have anyone quite big and burly you can invite over for a socially-distanced afternoon in the garden to see if they're quite so gobby at a massive bloke? (And I appreciate that what I just said is quite anti-feminist, but sometimes you need to fight fire with fire and put people like that in their place).

Is there no way you can move?
We’ve had neighbours issues during lockdown (nothing anywhere like what you describe) and have decided to move. It’s going to take 2 years of hard saving but it’s just got to happen.
Hope you manage to find peace somehow.

This is awful. I would contact the police again

Try borrowing a couple of very loud, barky, aggressive dogs and giving them free rein in your garden. Not ideal, but as pp said, they need putting firmly in their place and need to realise you’re not going to take their £&*# behaviour.

Do they own or rent? If they rent, can you find out who from?

The police aren't going to do anything and I'd hope nobody has any aggressive dogs for hire

Honestly, I'd plan to move

Very difficult situation. Is there any time of day when you notice they are indoors more ? This could be your time to make use of it. You can only really ignore them the best you can or wait til September when hopefully they'll be at school. Can you sit out the front of your house instead?

I would invest in a powerful sprinkler system close to the fence.

God you poor thing. Is there any way of raising the height of the fence? Even fixing a trellis, (a sturdy one!), to the top might help.

Is the fence yours? Swap it for a wall. Then they cant bang on it or break it. Think you're allowed them up to 2m tall between gardens and it would reduce the noise too. Grow some brambles up it so the cant climb over.

It sounds unbearable. If there's absolutely no way you can move, can you put gates up at the front and grow those hideous leylandii in a hedge at the back? At least they won't always be kids.

Could you try being overly nice to them? Do you know their names and the names of their kids? Do they know your name?

They sound absolutely horrendous and I can't imagine living next to them. But I'm wondering if they might ease off if you were nice or had some thing that they wanted?

I'm wondering about things like offering them cake because 'I baked a cake and have too much leftover', 'I baked some scones but have too many' etc? You don't need to bake of course, you could always just buy some cheap baked goods.

I'm wondering if you can get the parents onside and then they might rein the kids in? You absolutely shouldn't have to. But building up some 'credit' could make them behave as they'll want to positive things to continue?

How awful OP. My advice would first be to get a higher fence, and also to keep a lot of any and all threats such as the one before.

That sounds awful, OP. Is it council/housing association because you could complain to them if so? Private LL you can still complain.
A wall is a good idea, preferably with some nice thick spiky plants beside it.
You sound as if you are on your own a lot.can you invite some friends round (hopefully with a barky dog, doesn't need to be aggressive just big and barky) so they dont see you as an easy target?
People like that are just awful.

I don't think appeasement will work with these sort of oiks, what's the point of being nice to little shits?
Why can't you move op?

Get a mosquito alarm.

I don't think appeasement will work with these sort of oiks, what's the point of being nice to little shits?

I get where you're coming from @Reedwarbler. I just thought I'd throw it out there as an alternative idea to try.

One rents, one owns. The renters do lots of other anti social behaviour (drugs, untaxed/ unroadworthy vehicles, no one cares).

My ex is big and burly - it was in front of him that I was threatened. So really that doesn't help.

Moving is difficult as I can't buy anywhere else in the same town because my house is on a bad road (no shit!). I hope to relocate when my children are finished in education but that's at least 3 years away.

This is making me sooo angry reading this....how dare they bully you out of your own garden...i've been off work since March and mine has kept me sane...just pottering around doing bits of weeding etc.
I take it there is no man living with you...is there any big scary looking bloke you can bring over just to show these arseholes that there is a male presence in the house and garden.

Sounds so awful, I’m sorry.

What about one of those high pitch frequency devices only children can hear put in your garden?

I had the exact same thought as @mestrualcycledisplayteam

It's my fence. It's 6ft but their garden is higher than mine at certain points. Their trampoline is on the highest part of their garden, when they stand on that they are able to lean over/ sit on my fence. I have thought about trellis...I've actually thought about barbed wire but trellis is more realistic. I'd rather not build a wall because I only replaced the fence last year and it wasn't cheap. I need to paint the fence but haven't done that because I can't bear the shrieking 'shes touching our fence' 'shes moving our fence' and then banging. Probably calling me a bitch or similar too. This is all the kids btw, parents sit indoors or in the front garden.

We had similar situation but a bit more problematic as this was a shared garden with 2 houses, but separate owners. It was a summer house, but we lived there from June to Oct most years. Let's say they are family A, and next door neighbor, Family B.
Family A: had issues from start as they had a dog and I am terrified of dogs. Put up a fence, so it was okay for a few years. Then they started drinking heavily and had parties almost every day until 6 am, loud music,.... We tolerated that as well, as police came, saw, did nothing.
And they parked the friend's cars in our garden, saying they didn't have enough space and didn't want to leave it on the roadside. Given the legalities this could only be disputed in court and my parent didn't want to go to court. Which was a huge mistake.

Family B: chickenwire fence, huge dog that could jump over, 2 kids my age, but horrendous, hated each other from start.

When I grew up (past 18) i opted not to go there only for a few weekends, but i could see nothing changed and I was constantly in fear because of the dogs.

When my son was born we came to the conclusion that this whole situation can't go on as we want to be there with him from apr to oct instead of a tiny 39sqm apartment. So it needed sorting.
Had a talk with both families, about the same reply as you got. And they didn't like that there was a small kid, so they upped their game: throwing empty beer bottles over the fence which sometimes broke in the grass on a rock. They hit his leg with one, and i had to take broken shards from his hand. Constant partying (now ppl in their late 40s), noise until 6am and constant belittling of us (verbal assault is what I put in my police report at one time).
Every nap time they cranked up music. But only in naptime.
Then came the actual verbal assaults when they jokingly started talking about how easy it will be to run over my son with their car, as I can't watch him every second and I need to go to the loo at one point.
I'm writing this just for context and to show that I am not a horrible person, just been harassed to the point of breaking.

1. obviously many police report over the years, but nothing happened
2. got sleeping pills, put them in sausage and threw it over the fence. Bit too much, dog was sleeping for days. Did this until they got rid of the dog. Both families (I knew they had places to take them)
3. fence: first got a proper fence made and got it made 3 meters high. Put cement and shards at the top. Forgot to tell anyone.

On the small fence on the shared property: wood fence was about a meter high, added chicken wire up to 2,5 meters with some barbed wire inbetween.

1. The part that was used as a driveway and the gate got cemented in as well. It spilled. I'm sorry. I did leave a footpath as per the legal req.
2. almost every day around 7 am (my son woke at 6... hell): my mum would take my son for a walk or for a swim and I'd blast my favourite music on full volume - Rammstein, death metal, hardcore techno. Given they partied until 4-6am this rattled them a lot
3. got a camera fitted that took in most of our garden. And went with that to the police on many occasions (just to have a paper trail, nothing happened)
4. I took them to court over a hole lot of things.
5. anything that got thrown over - i'd gather them and throw back. Plus our daily thrash with it. I'm clumsy, the bag slipped out of my hand.

Tbh I was utterly ashamed of myself and am happy that I shielded my son from most of it. The only thing i couldn't shield him from seeing is when one of their guests knocked me out with a left hook in our very own garden when i told him to fuck off and not piss on my son's slide frame or I"ll cut his dick off. He literally came to our part of the garden to relieve himself! My son was playing in the sand under the slide. I think it's understandable that I was a bit less than civilized at that point. This is a more extreme story*, but some points might help (fence, music, throwing trash back +some). You don't have to be british/civilized. forget it. Just make sure that you smile and say sorry /didn't notice/forgot to say? if they complain and keep doing it.

Thank god that never in my life before or after had to even shout at anyone in public.

*and this is only the first half of the story :(