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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to explain the use of boomer, Karen is derogatory?

185 replies

NightSpot · 22/07/2020 15:08

Teen Ds's. They use boomer and Karen all the time. I have said I do not like them. They argue they are not slurs, whereas I think they are. I also say Karen is misogynistic. I am not good with words and they argue rings around me.

Can someone explain in a way I can repeat? I do think though that they should respect that our house is not a playground, where I am sure they all use those words, and therefore they should respect the fact I do not want to hear them.

The same with sticking up for women is seen as TERF behaviour. Confused

I basically need coherent arguments that make them understand why all three terms are horrible.

OP posts:
ThePlantsitter · 22/07/2020 15:13

Because lumping all people of a particular class into one derogatory term is, though fashionable, thick, narrow minded, and shows a lack of critical thinking skills?

LolaSkoda · 22/07/2020 15:15

Sometimes, when my teen argues with me I tell him that I’m his Mum, he’s had an explanation and it isn’t up for further debate.

I’m happy for him to have an opinion, put it forward etc but ultimately I’m a grown up and there are rules in our home.

MsEllany · 22/07/2020 15:16

Start calling them ‘child’. Nothing a teen hates more than being told they don’t know anything, so just adopt a condescending tone and tell them they’ll understand when they’re not a child anymore.

If they remonstrate you have a perfect rebuttal for them.

Bitchinkitchen · 22/07/2020 15:17

I'm sorry, but boomer absolutely isn't a slur. Karen is misogynistic, that's true, but boomer is not in any way offensive.

Settleandcalm · 22/07/2020 15:19

Boomer is. I’ve had it used against me when I don’t “get” something or I’m not “woke” enough.

I’m not even old enough to be a bloody boomer.

MsEllany · 22/07/2020 15:20

@Bitchinkitchen but it is categorically wrong when it’s used by teenagers to refer to their parents who are unlikely to be boomers!

It’s a variation of what I posted isn’t it? If you don’t like being called something and you do consider it a slur - I’m not sure it’s up to you so ensure you’re only meaning to completely shut down my POV but it’s not a slur Confused

isabellerossignol · 22/07/2020 15:20

I suppose the thing is that they're using them because they know they're insults. That's the whole point of using them. So explaining that they shouldn't use them because they're insults sort of defeats the purpose.

Inextremis · 22/07/2020 15:21

Boomer is a slur, it's ageist, dismissive and lazy.

LonginesPrime · 22/07/2020 15:21

boomer is not in any way offensive

It's not offensive to you, Bitchin - people are different though and your view is unlikely to be shared by everyone.

foamrolling · 22/07/2020 15:21

I kept calling my teenage son a snowflake every time he used boomer. He was outraged that I would stereotype every one of his generation like that. And then the penny dropped. A couple of long and boring explanation of where the word boomer came from also helped persuade him it was more trouble using that word than it was worth.

ThePlantsitter · 22/07/2020 15:22

Boomer is intended as a slur.

heartsonacake · 22/07/2020 15:22

YABU and oversensitive.

FiveToFour · 22/07/2020 15:22

Boomer can be used as a slur.
"Ok,boomer..." absolutely is intended as a put down.
But is you are going to use it as a description of a particular generation it's ok - the baby boom generation born after the war.
(Though technically I'm a boomer,born in 1959. Personally I think the post war getting back together lets have a baby rush had passed by 1959, 14 years after the war!)

Danglingmod · 22/07/2020 15:23

Yes, Boomer is absolutely used as a slur.

Teenagers currently use it disparagingly to anyone older than about 24. Usually with "whatever" tagged on the front, as in "whatever, Boomer," basically meaning "you are an old person, know nothing and your opinion is irrelevant to me."

WearyandBleary · 22/07/2020 15:23

Gosh I don’t mind at all: I use these terms myself semi-affectionately when any family members are being technologically slow / old fashioned ideas (boomer) or officious (Karen).

I don’t think these are offensive terms.

MereDintofPandiculation · 22/07/2020 15:26

Boomer means a lifestyle and set of unpleasant beliefs and behaviours which is ascribed to anyone of an older age irrespective of whether they were born during the "baby boom". How is it not an insult?

Danglingmod · 22/07/2020 15:28

Well, you might not mean them as slurs but teenagers that use it definitely do. And not just when you're being "technologically slow" (doesn't happen often as most adults are more tech savvy than most teens), but when you voice an opinion or try to tell them anything. Even to their 24/25 year old teachers.

LonginesPrime · 22/07/2020 15:28

OP, do DC appreciate that other ageist and/or misogynistic comments are derogatory, or are you having to explain the whole shebang from scratch?

Do they view any words as offensive and, if so, do they avoid using those words?

SquashedSpring · 22/07/2020 15:33

I'm sorry, but boomer absolutely isn't a slur. Karen is misogynistic, that's true, but boomer is not in any way offensive.

'Baby boomer', as a descriptive term for people born between 1946 and 1964 is fine. 'Boomer' is based upon stereotypes and used now to have a go at older people. This isn't fine.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/07/2020 15:33

Eh...

'Baby boomer' to refer to someone of that generation... not a slur.

'Ok boomer!' to suggest someone is out of touch, doesnt know they are talking about, whether refering to someone of that generation or of entirely another, IS a slur, its use is entirely derogatory, it has no other purpose!

Ditto, unless a persons name IS Karen.. then referring to someone as a Karen IS derogatory.

I would suggest to OP's teenagers that they refrain from using derogatory slurs until they understand how to be rude and derogatory PROPERLY and intentionally and with a bit of style.

skybluee · 22/07/2020 15:34

'Karen' is offensive because its an insult designed only to refer to someone of a particular sex and race (and class).

If I designed an insult that was only for Asian men, that wouldn't be OK. This isn't OK either IMO.

It's an insult. End of.

I also have read quite a few articles showing instances that its being used to try to silence women who speak out - which isn't good.

skybluee · 22/07/2020 15:35

I've seen "ok boomer" used as an insult repeatedly too.

BakedCam · 22/07/2020 15:56

I'd be asking what they think they mean by the terms. As a PL said, baby boomer generation was a bygone era with interesting histories, many of which are alive today. I'd be using this as an educational exercise.

As for the Karen use, I'd explain the history surrounding this one.

ilovesooty · 22/07/2020 15:59

@Inextremis

Boomer is a slur, it's ageist, dismissive and lazy.
Absolutely.
weebarra · 22/07/2020 15:59

My DS1 (12) used Ok Boomer as an insult to me (77 born xennial) so I laughed at him. I also explained the classist misogyny of 'Karen' .
If you're going to use an insult make it accurate.