Holiday - AIBU?

[claragolightly]

Last September I was forced into agreeing to an oblication - holiday with overbearing IL who doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual. I have never wanted to go and my partner knows this. He doesn't really want to go either, but wouldn't tell his family as much so here we are. This is all by the by.

It's next month. Flights haven't been cancelled and ILs still want to go. Partner has said we have to go as we don't have a valid excuse not to.

I have been feeling very anxious about it. Firstly, I don't want to spend time with the ILs - she has stirred up a lot of drama during lockdown. Also, I'm an introvert and have been used to spending plenty of time alone / only in my partners company over the past four months and I will have no way of escaping / getting alone time during the holiday. It won't be at all relaxing, as I will have to do a lot of driving (an aside not worth discussing)

These factors would have been a concern before COVID, but I'd have got on with it to keep the peace. And I wouldn't be taking such a big dive from loads of solitary time to having to be "on" and with others 24/7.

Secondly, and this may sound daft, but a family member is a pilot and she faces redundancy. I do not want to get on a plane while she can't fly one. I would find it too upsetting. I have no issue with COVID/flying.

Finally, it's unclear what the rules are about testing / self isolation etc. I don't want to have a COVID test on arrival (holiday is in Greece), the thought of a swab makes me feel sick. I'd do it if I was concerned about having the virus, of course. I've read that if one person tests positive on a flight, everyone will have to self isolate. I don't know if that's true or not. I'm also concerned about local lockdowns - what if we get stranded? We have cats! I'd have to take my work laptop just in case. I don't want to fork out for extra accommodation / cat care in the event of this.

Would I be totally unreasonable to make a stand and say I'm not going? I feel like it might be. I realise this is such an insignificant problem in the grand scheme of things, but I'm feeling so stressed about it.

Do you suffer with anxiety, OP?

You could have sorted this easily by saying no in the first place rather than leave it to the last minute. But instead, you are now coming up with excuses and blaming others for 'obliging' you to go on holiday.

You will feel better if you decide what to do now, and stick with it (no matter what you decide).

Just say you won't be going. That they are welcome to go without you and with your blessing but you won't be attending.

And next time the idea of a holiday together is brought up just say NO from the off.

Just say no and keep saying no until they all get it.

not sure about this bit though
I do not want to get on a plane while she can't fly one. I would find it too upsetting

Corona is the perfect excuse to get out of it! Next time say no straight away and stick to it.
As others have said though, the not getting on a plane due to family pilot being out of work is totally daft!

@Hobbes8

Is oblication a typo or is it a new word meaning an obligation vacation?

That aside...who paid for the holiday? Do you have insurance that would pay out even though the flights are going ahead?

I came on to say the same!

Oblication is a truly marvellous word

Of course you could have said no to begin with and I would have done the same. BUT. You didn't. You said you would go (begrudgingly) but you did it all the same and tickets were booked. Are you really willing to say no thanks now and have that money go down the drain? I think I would feel like I needed to go at this point for that reason alone

I like oblication; I shall add it to my list of portmanteau words, alphabetically before voluntold.