Women filmed in car (social distancing)

[TrailMonkey]

To think the man who filmed the women in the car regarding her complaining about social distancing was wrong to plaster it all over the internet calling her crazy because it seems likely she's vulnerable?

Agree I hate the video culture but at the moment everyone wants to sue, to get compensation, to "take it further" so you need your own defence.

Twenty years ago a row on a train was just that. On a train. Get off the train and forget it. Now you might find yourself being accused of all sorts of things. Things which could lose you your job or put you in prison - so video is your own defence. Vicious circle.

She's not "vulnerable". She's the epitome of why people are going around creating these Karen memes. Horrible entitled argumentative person who got caught out.

She's not "vulnerable".

Just as much as it's wrong to assume she is, it's wrong to assume she isn't. You've seen a 40s video, a snapshot effectively of their life and behaviour

And it's even pretty mild behaviour in the scheme of things really, no one's out the car getting aggy, no threats of violence, she just makes herself look bad, that's the extent of the wrong doing, it's not exactly newsworthy.

If someone was being shouty\aggressive etc towards me I might be inclined to record it in case the police needed to get involved as it would accurately show what happened.

Posting it on social media is another thing though.

People need to take responsibility for their behaviour. Why exactly should thr man cover up her aggression to him?

As a pp said if this was a man shouting abuse at a woman no one would be saying well she shouldn’t have filmed it poor him.

I’m really sick of this attitude that if a woman behaves badly towards a man it needs to be hidden in some way, covered up, kept secret, for the sake of the woman. That if the man tells its him in the wrong.

But if a man does it to a woman she should record, report, name, shame.

These double standards are not ok.

As a pp said if this was a man shouting abuse at a woman no one would be saying well she shouldn’t have filmed it poor him

As i just posted....I don’t think anyone should be filming anything

@SquashedSpring my DH isn't NT. His siblings are also not NT. There are gradients of NT as you clearly know.

Some non-NT are incapable of driving, others are more than capable. If she's "vulnerable" because she is not NT (as others were suggesting), she is capable of the physical and mental aspects required for driving, suggesting she has capacity to make many judgements and decisons in a short and pressured time frame. It's a big deal.

She's also employed in a role that is likely to be people facing, suggesting she has skills and/or training in that area. Again, a big deal depending on the scale of non-NT complexities.

Life is not separated by NT and non-NT.

In what way was she more vulnerable. If she is in uniform maybe shes been to work and why not just keep the window closed.

@TrailMonkey

Daily Mail article has the full video on it.

And here we have the real issue.

I use my browser adblocker to block the Mail. It's totally worth it.

I don’t think anyone should be filming anything

I do. Because it holds people accountable. And if someone needs help then it might get them that help but for the vast majority of people it’s bad behaviour and they should be held accountable.

No one says to a woman if a man is shouting “fat cunt“ at you as you walk down the street that he might need help, isn’t nt, and you shouldn’t video it and you should cover up for him.

Video it, name and shame whomever it is that’s abusing you. No one deserves to be a victim and no one should blame the victim either.

What she did was wrong and agressive, however vunerable or not, I don't believe its right to publically shame people in the way that seems common now. Putting this on social media for global attention, and the press picking it up, is completely disproportionate to her actions. The implications of this becoming viral are massive for her, I don't think it's acceptable to post things like that on social media for laughs.

Who is it holding people accountable to though, Bluntness? If the guy wanted to try and get her sacked or arrested because he felt wounded by what she said, by all means he can use the footage to hold her accountable to her employer or to law enforcement agencies, both of whom will hopefully investigate and follow correct procedure.

But sharing a film of anyone with millions, with no control over the consequences and no accountability yourself in terms of them... that I think goes beyond holding someone accountable. Who knows what is going to happen as a result of this being shared? She'll almost certainly lose her job and likely without a thorough investigation as Tesco or whoever will want to get social media mob off their back, she'll likely lose friends, possibly family and could even face threats to her personal safety. That isn't accountability. It's three minute hate.

@LinemanForTheCounty

Who is it holding people accountable to though, Bluntness? If the guy wanted to try and get her sacked or arrested because he felt wounded by what she said, by all means he can use the footage to hold her accountable to her employer or to law enforcement agencies, both of whom will hopefully investigate and follow correct procedure.

But sharing a film of anyone with millions, with no control over the consequences and no accountability yourself in terms of them... that I think goes beyond holding someone accountable. Who knows what is going to happen as a result of this being shared? She'll almost certainly lose her job and likely without a thorough investigation as Tesco or whoever will want to get social media mob off their back, she'll likely lose friends, possibly family and could even face threats to her personal safety. That isn't accountability. It's three minute hate.

Yep

I did say in my original post that there might be a legal reasons argument

And that still holds, its the spread i have an issue with

Agree. He said he started filming in order to get a record of what happened, which is fair enough. But the thousands of unconnected people who have seen it since don't require any such record - it just gives them a prurient moment of entertainment and possibly will have far reaching consequences for her out of all proportion to what she actually did.

Filming it is one thing although I’m not sure legally on the standing of recording someone without consent in their own private vehicle where they might exact the right to some privacy. Unlike recoding in public places such as a field/park.

It’s the posting it on social media every single dam time that gets me. These people are not recording to report it as 9 out of 10 the incident isn’t reported until after the upload onto social media and then a lot that are reported are reported by someone who wasn’t involved at all in the video.

Public shaming died out for a reason. It does not make for a better world.

Bluntness100 "Holding someone accountable" is not inviting hundreds of thousands of people to a hate party that has no end.

It is damaging for the person who has been shamed, many people experience a range of MH issues after being shamed, even to the extent of committing suicide.

It's also documented that the anger and helplessness felt after being publicly humiliated can lead to some people committing acts of violence.

I do wonder what the man who uploaded this video was hoping to get out of it? Revenge? A few LOLs? Or do people just film and upload automatically now?

I don’t think anyone should be filming anything

Sorry, I don’t agree. It shouldn’t be posted on social media though

It’s evidence in case of police involvement for a start

My daughter rides horses, one day she was hacking her pony down our lane to a lesson when a car driver, going far too fast, very nearly hit her and her pony. Bloke then got out of the car, started threatening DD, calling her a cunt, threats to run her over, etc, etc. DD was wearing a helmet camera, without it the police wouldn’t have taken any action - despite an independent witness in a car coming the other way seeing the whole thing

I would have more sympathy for your cause if you had included the video of the male cyclist who was filmed shouting at the woman. But if this is protection of only one gender, then sorry YABU,

The implications of this becoming viral are massive for her

Then unless she’s vulnerable she should have thought of that before she wound down the window and aggressively had a go at him. And if it stops people doing this shit because they are scared folks will find out and scared of the consequences then good.

Of course if someone is vulnerable then they need to get help and hopefully she has an employer who knows about her additional needs, but as yet nothing has been suggested she does have additional needs.

This assumption that if someone is aggressive they must be vulnerable is very very wrong. The vast majority do not.

I just can’t get past how if a man shouts at you something abusive it’s seen as he is an awful person and needs to be held to account, but both times recently a woman doing it and many responses have been to blame the victim for effectively “snitching”.

but as yet nothing has been suggested she does have additional needs.

Apart from by the Man who filmed her, himself, stating she was "crazy" and he felt sorry for her.

@Choukette

but as yet nothing has been suggested she does have additional needs.

Apart from by the Man who filmed her, himself, stating she was "crazy" and he felt sorry for her.

I don’t think the man was able to diagnose her, but if you believe he was fair enough,

@SquashedSpring

The woman's behaviour is very odd, but why does the man feel the need to post it online? If she was physically attacking him or his car there would be a reason to film it as evidence, but this wasn't the case.

People sometimes behave in ways others don't expect, they could be suffering from anxiety, could have mental health problems, autism, or could just be having a bad day. They don't deserve to have their bad moment shared all over the world.

It's like a modern day 'freak show' - lets all look and point at the person behaving oddly (while of course liking and sharing). It's fucking shit and shame on those who do it.

This.

I hate this trial by social media.

Who knows what is going to happen as a result of this being shared? She'll almost certainly lose her job

For what? It's not like she got out and lamped him.

and likely without a thorough investigation as Tesco or whoever will want to get social media mob off their back

Really? This sounds rather far-fetched given the context.

The woman is the one in the wrong here.If she hadnt shouted and been aggressive she wouldnt be all over social media.

I think he recorded her so if it get violent he would have proof.

@LonginesPrime many people have lost their jobs for much less. You don't have to commit a crime to be deemed to have brought your employer into disrepute, especially when half the world knows what you've done. It's a really dubious tactic.