Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

@mistyrivers87

NC'd for this because I know I'll get flamed and chased down with pitchforks.

I think ADHD is a load of bollocks. It does not exist. It was a term concocted to deflect the blame from parents when they've got a naughty child. No parent wants to admit they've failed in their discipline, they'd rather place a label on it. ADHD is a fantasy of a condition. People need to simply realise they've lost their way with their discipline.
I have two children myself and yes they are naughty and yes I am not perfect by any means and yes I'd love to say that when my son kicks off that he simply has ADHD as it would reassure me that I haven't slipped up somewhere. But no, I take responsibility for my child's actions and refuse to blame an imaginary illness.

That where I disagree. Because I have worked with brilliantly behaved kids with the diagnosis who I can see are struggling/uncomfortable and desperately want to 'be good'. And the medication helps them, as does dealing with in a way that is sensitive towards the difficulties.

The frustrating things is when they are clearly doing well, but somebody else kicks off in the class from nothing more serious than being a brat, knowing that it'll set the kid with ADHD off. Because it's amusing to them to light the touchpaper and watch the show.

It sounds like a generic response or a stereotype, but when you're talking to a kid who is fully engaged with you, highly alert and animated, but they can't stop tapping or moving their hands, for example, I'd ask if they'd ever considered playing the drums - and for the vast majority of the ones I worked with, that was a brilliant way of harnessing their energy, as it gave them a release and taught them ways of controlling it - and sometimes, you don't play everything or at all. Some describe that - or using the computers, playing sport, Art, Food Tech, whatever it is that suits their need for movement, change and stimulation as 'I feel calm here'.

It's beyond having an ability for those children - it's a need. And it's right in front of you when you see it.

It's 100% real my OH suffers from it and probably his dad. A lot of people seem to think it's an excuse for poor behaviour but that's lack of understanding/education. To get diagnosed as an adult MIL had to have a long chat with the specialist about what OH was like as a child. They even went back through old school reports and one thing they looked for was poor behaviour as a child. Like other things on the same spectrum such as autism, dyslexia, Asperger and dyspraxia there's a lot more understanding of them that's got better in the last 10-15 years

I've worked in secondary schools for over 15 years and I've met a couple of teachers who don't believe in ADHD.
The weirdest was a teacher who had ADHD himself and believed because he could control it, that anyone else with ADHD should be able to control it!

@mistyrivers87 it's a shame it's not. When the right conditions are put in place for those with ADHD they can do so incredibly well in areas that a majority of the neurotypical population would struggle with.

Our society needs to take the time to educate people more and work on everyone's positive points rather than expect everyone to have the same abilities. We need a world where everyone can make the most of their different abilities. We don't need a world where everyone is good at the same thing.

It definitely exists but is their over diagnosis, is it used when it's actually social issues/family dynamics because it's hard to say to parents it's your poor parenting/lack of boundaries etc yes probably.

The bigger question is what is the best way to parent and teach children whose brains are structured differently essentially. Much of the issues kids have is that they are square pegs in a round holed world.

By the way, my DD's ex head told me girls couldn't be autistic (dd is autistic) she "took early retirement" a month after my complaint to the chair of governors cc'd to my mp

I think a lot of people think it's overdiagnosed rather than doesn't exist, and is used sometimes when a child is just naughty

My mum was at school in the 50s. It seemed to be all bunking off, leaving at 14 for work and getting the slipper for no reason.

@Ilovecranberries * Do you find that people often are telling you that? I mean, about organic food and TV?
Asking for own understanding / preparedness only. I really do not cope well with the social judgment.*

Neither does anyone else with this. It's called rejection sensitivity dysphoria. A symptom that is virtually universal.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/amp/

My honest advice? Tell no one apart from those that need to know. Because you do not need to hear people's stupid fucking theories and how 'they lose keys too'. Yes you do. But not all the fucking time. People just see it as you making excuses for bad behaviour and have nothing of value to offer.

[quote Ilovecranberries]@Iwalkinmyclothing
Do you find that people often are telling you that? I mean, about organic food and TV?
Asking for own understanding / preparedness only. I really do not cope well with the social judgment.[/quote]
No, most people are very supportive and kind :)

One relative who thoroughly dislikes me anyway and would happily deny the existence of oxygen if they could do so in a way that put me down has made no bones about their belief that ADHD is just an excuse and my eldest son is just a little shit thanks to our genes and my parenting (no explanation as to why my other children seem not to have the same issues!). A few teachers have seemed a little cynical about it, but generally have warmed up when they realise I see his condition(s) ad an explanation rather than an excuse and that I don't believe his having ADHD should be treated as a get out of jail free card. A few people I have met have made suggestions about boundaries and TV and food, but usually in a nice way and genuinely think they are offering advice I haven't thought of before- and take it very well when I gently explain all the things we tried and all the ways simply 'setting a boundary' just does not work for a child like my eldest! Online, of course, I get ripped to shreds on a regular basis in discussions like these (less so on MN for obvious reasons), but that's what happens online isn't it, and I'm happy to shout back and then ignore.

But overall, whilst I'm sure a lot of people who don't know us well will think it's all poor parenting, vanishingly few are so rude as to say so. Most people want to be nice.

Why do people say it's over diagnosed. I mean, where do you get your information and evidence to back that up?
I truly do not understand how people arrive at this conclusion

@Zany15

I am with mistyrivers here. I was at Junior school in the late 1950s and believe me, no child ever misbehaved twice! Having said that, there used to be 'special schools' for children with SEN, which have all but disappeared today. I too often wonder why it is that so many children nowadays have diagnosed conditions.

DS does not misbehave in school or public. Compared to other children I see he's pretty well behaved at home as well. In fact he's hypersensitive to any criticism of behaviour. ADHD is not a label for 'naughty kids'. It also isn't an excuse for poor behaviour but different parenting techniques are required.

What people seem to be describing here is parents blaming behaviour issues on conditions that their children have not been diagnosed with. That is obviously bullshit but it doesn't mean the condition doesn't exist.

@mistyrivers87

*40MellowBird85

I think the problem is it’s overused, particularly on children that come from chaotic households. So children who may not have been taught appropriate behaviour (boundaries, social skills, impulse control) are then labelled as such by their parents who can’t accept that it is their parenting that is the issue.*

10000% agree

Yup.

Slightly off topic but with regards to other people not believing in ADHD, someone I know said my 14 year old autistic son may have "brain fog caused by candida". She doesn't believe in autism. I daren't tell her my daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD!

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy as the parent of a child with ADHD who behaved 'excellently' at school I suggest you, and ignorant teachers like you, educate yourselves on masking before you fail children the way mine was

It really hurts that people still say ADHD doesn’t exist. We went through terrible years with our youngest DS and I was told many times to my face that my son’s behaviour was just down to inadequate parenting.
He was just as badly behaved at school as at home, but the school expected medication to “fix him” and lost interest in providing support when he still had problems coping.
ADHD is so much more than just being naughty.
We have done the parenting classes, family counselling and everything we could, cause I thought that we could find the key to helping our son, there is no magic key. I even stopped working for a few years to try and be a “ better parent” while my DH supported us.
My DS had extreme symptoms of ODD also a lack of impulse control to the point where he would physically injure himself in his desperate need to react immediately to a situation. He would break down in despair because he didn’t know how to stop himself doing crazy things. He self medicated with drugs because he couldn’t cope with the feelings in his head. He doesn’t have an understanding of consequences e.g when he was younger another child would aggravate him, instead of understanding that if he lashed out he would get into severe trouble he would just hit the other child and then wonder why he was excluded for school (again). He had medication, counselling, mentoring and time out in the school support base, we spent lots of time and money doing activities with him to help manage the ADHD he behaved well in organised sports and had a real natural aptitude for a lot of them so we signed him up for various things over the years.
The stress of dealing with it nearly broke my DH and I up ( there is so much more worse things to my DS’s behaviour than I have listed here).
Our DS is now a young man but still has many difficulties.
ADHD IS REAL.

@BertieBotts excellent post

I think ADHD symptoms are real, but that the causes of those symptoms vary and some children with those symptoms can be cured if the cause is ascertained correctly and they are treated properly.

In fact I know this and I don't know why it isn't more widely known. There are two big names in the research field in this area. One was Professor Christian Guilleminault from Stanford University. He sadly died last year, but spent 40 years specialising in this area and in every study he undertook between 40% and 70% of children with an ADHD diagnosis had undiagnosed obstructive sleep apnoea. When the OSA was successfully treated their ADHD symptoms vanished. The current expert is Dr Stephen Sheldon at Northwestern University (also in the US). His research has demonstrated the same and arguably gone further.

We are all familiar with the phrase that a child is "so tired they are wired". This is what the inability to breathe properly during sleep does. The child is deprived of proper rest and their brain struggles to process information properly during the day. They are perpetually exhausted. Often the cause of the sleep breathing problem is that their maxilla is not growing forward away from the airways and is, instead, growing vertically. The child's adult teeth will come through crooked, but this is so norma now people don't realise it is an indication of a possible health problem. The other major symptom is snoring. Snoring is not healthy breathing and any parent of a child who snores should go to their GP and ask for a referral and a sleep study.

In my experience, many of the people saying it is overdiagnosed have no first hand knowledge of CAMHS assessment processes. You don't just rock up to the clinic and say "my kid is naughty, it must be ADHD", to even get to the clinic in the first place there are several gatekeepers to get past then the assessment process itself is a series of hurdles to clear. If they're unsure of a diagnosis then they don't make one and will tell you to go away and try XYZ strategies and then ask to be referred back in a year or two if there is no improvement. That's not to say misdiagnosis aren't made but they are not as common as some seem to think.

I believe in it, and I think some children have it, but I don’t think all the children that have been diagnosed with it have it.

I think sometimes it’s a case of sticking a label on a naughty child because they don’t know what else to do.

@WorraLiberty

I've worked with teachers for over 20 years and I've never met one who doesn't believe ADHD is real.

I actually don't believe this woman at all.

Met plenty