Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

@Cacacoisfarraige @Buttybach @Galvantula

So similar here too!! Constant feeling of imposter syndrome at work and when I can switch off from having to try ridiculously hard to sit through an hour's technical zoom meeting and not let my mind wander, I'm exhausted. But the kids want to play, and the house is a tip, as always! I often choose to go to bed, which I feel ashamed about. I have come to the realisation that I should stop berrating myself for being useless and lazy. It's a coping mechanism.
Has a diagnosis helped at all @galvantula?

My DS is also hyperactive outside but has more room to do it in!

Also 3 kids here @Cacacoisfarraige😅 Trying to remember all the school stuff is torture. Plus I forget what I've said I'll do or forget that they weren't allowed to do something.

@drspouse it's only been a couple of weeks, but I'm trying really hard to beat myself up less. Also trying to observe myself doing unhelpful things and find new coping mechanisms. Even stuff like resisting having my phone out when I know I need to be listening/paying attention.

I'm hoping to try medication next week, I've been prescribed Elvanse but not got the prescription through yet.

We spent a lot of the last few days outside and DS1 was acting totally nuts. Not listening to what he was asked to do and the wee ones copying him. 🙈🙈

Also had a complete freakout about something and took ages to talk him down.

It's hard to get him to understand that we know he didn't mean to cause trouble, but his behaviour has consequences.

I feel bad for him as he's a lovely kid but very obstinate once he's got an idea. So it causes a lot of drama.

3 kids here too....ADHD extends to impulsive habits of all kinds 😂

It absolutely does exist - I've worked with enouu Holden over the last two decades to have no doubt about that. I think the issue is with some parents who claim their child has it in order to absolve themselves of their responsibilities. These parents to not have a diagnosis and are shocked when we ask them to produce one. Sadly, because so many do this, it means that those children who genuinely do have the condition are often treated as naughty children because the condition is seen as an excuse, rather than something that is really debilitating.

I think most people know neurological difference exists but it’s easier to pretend it doesn’t sometimes and I DO agree that there are lots of people who see it where it isn’t.

@PutYourBackIntoit 😂😂

@Cacacoisfarraige The effect of a lifetime of being invalidated and criticised on adhd children can not be underestimated. Constantly constantly told they aren't doing this right, how could you forget that? Why don't you just do this. Everyone else has done this why can't you. Why can't you pay attention? Weren't you listening? Sit still. Be quiet. Then the nicknames relating to being hyper or dreamy. On and on and fucking on.

And now your parents aren't bringing you up properly.

Look that teacher up on Facebook and give her a piece of your mind. Let her be on the end of a telling off for once. How could you not know? Why aren't you trained? Surely you should have thought about it before speaking? Other teachers don't do that. Bitch.

@Thateverlastingyes77 clearly you have reading difficulties so I'm sure you can empathise. I can diagnose that because you appear to have read little to none of the thread and I can only assume you wouldnt comment on a thread of this nature without having specific expertise and having read at least a few posts. The fact that you havent would indicate to me that you are challenged in this area.

Are you telling us these children had formal medical diagnoses of adhd? With treatment?

You will find elsewhere on this thread rather a lot of useful information explaining how it works. Have a little read of it so you don't look like you have a low iq, as I'm sure you don't want that. What with you bring more middle class now and working in schools and all that.

It’s just my personal opinion based on what I have observed.

No medical, psychological, developmental, educational, or other scientific training then? Just your own incorrect and factually wrong opinion?

Some people with a cough will have Covid19, but not all coughs are caused by Covid
What I mean by that is ADHD exists but not all difficult behaviour is caused by it, sometime its the result of bad parenting or a hundred and one other reasons

@Thateverlastingyes77
If you have a read through the thread, you will hear from umpteen parents whose children have ADHD, reiterating again and again that it is not caused by poor diet or poor parenting. It is a neurological condition. These parents are using scientific and medical evidence, together with personal experience, to back up their opinions.

As regards the examples you give, you have observed a small snapshot of these people's lives. You really don't have a clue. The chances are that at least one of the parents of a child with ADHD has it too and is struggling to cope, not just with their child's behaviour, but with every single aspect of life. Shouting and swearing at a child isn't ideal, but it doesn't cause ADHD.

ADHD is not over diagnosed. There is a very prolonged and stringent process leading to a final diagnosis. You don't just rock up to your GP, claim your child has ADHD and get handed a bunch of pills. If anything, there are many children slipping through the net. My son is only just being assessed at age 12 because he's more on the inattentive side of things and has managed to do well at school. But his lack of focus, daydreaming, fidgeting, forgetfulness etc have ceased to be endearing little quirks to his teachers and have started to become a problem as the expectation that he function more independently becomes more pressing. Girls with ADHD are woefully under diagnosed for similar reasons.

You cannot get a diagnosis by "playing the system". The assessments include observations of the child across multiple settings, parent interviews/questionnaires, child interviews/questionnaires, developmental evaluations, cognitive testing, interviews/questionnaires with school staff, do I need to go on? Unless a child, school staff, and parents had been thoroughly coached on how to give the answers and actions required for a diagnosis then it is highly unlikely they'd receive one.

@Thateverlastingyes77
Please tell me how you can 'play the system' to get a diagnosis of ADHD. I really am very interested.

ADHD and bad behaviour aren't interchangeable words. If you are clueless enough to believe they are, then you should shut the fuck up, rather than wading into subjects you know fuck all about.

I'm beginning to think some of these posts are a brain cell's final effort prior to it dying of loneliness inside the posters head.