DH has a friend who I find difficult company. I find him quite self centred and domineering, I put up with spending a limited amount of time with him because he is a good friend to DH and it is important to DH that we do spend some time together. DH can be pretty blind to this guy’s flaws and does not get irritated by him the way I do.
We are currently redecorating our kitchen. We really need a new one, it’s over 20 years old and doesn’t really suit our needs but we can’t afford a new one. Friend knows this. Friend has decided to get a new kitchen, which is fair enough, his one is old too and he can afford a new one. In this situation though, AIBU to think you might be a little bit sensitive to your friend who cannot afford the same as you?
On Saturday, friend launched into a lengthy description of said new kitchen, showed brochures etc, mainly directed at me. I smiled and nodded and said how lovely, as I would to anyone. It continued for around 20 minutes with things like “Storage is so much better these days, I’ll be able to fit in so much stuff in the cupboards, look at these.” Jarring, as storage is a real issue for us, but I continue to smile and nod. “Remember those handles you used to get, with fancy bits which are difficult to keep clean and not good when wee ones bump there head off them, well the handles these days are so sleek.” As the friend knows, our handles are hideous affairs which I am struggling to replace because they’ve left marks on the units, which I had previously mentioned to friend.
I will hold up my hands and say I’m jealous. I wish we could afford a lovely new kitchen. But as this “conversation” went on I felt more and more like he was actually trying to make a point - look what I can afford and you can’t. Do you think my feelings stem from jealousy and finding the guy annoying and combative in the past, or would you expect most people to find those sort of comments and insensitivity galling?