To think DD shouldn’t have been given diazepam?

[ohrien]

My 17 year old had a nervous breakdown last night. She’s been severely depressed since lockdown and it’s all been building up but she was sent over the edge when she was scrolling FB and saw her boyfriend of 5 months had changed his status to in a relationship with another girl before they’d even split. The breakdown was absolutely horrendous, broke some glass off a mirror and ran it down her arm. Thankfully only left a scratch. Tried looking my codeine tablets which I had to had. Her body was physically collapsing into just screaming on the floor that she didn’t want to live anymore. She was on the floor for 2 hours and eventually ended up rocking back and forth not saying a word. In a catatonic state. It was utterly terrifying to watch as a mother and I’ll never forget the sight. I ended up packing a bag and making her go to A&E at midnight.

A&E assessed her (I waited in triage) and she was in there talking to one of the doctors for an hour. I was hoping they’d keep her in as I didn’t know how to help her. But then she comes back having been given a sleeping pill and 2mg diazepam, as well as a 4 more diazepam to use when needed. They are going to have a mental health home team contact her and they will arrange to come and see her. We then went home and she was so drugged up I had to help her into bed. It was devastating.

Today she’s been in bed all day but I have managed to get her to have a shower, brush teeth and wash hair. She won’t eat anything, she says it’s not that she is worried about eating it’s just that she has no desire to and feels sick. She was told to take 3 of the diazepam today and the last one tomorrow. She has taken one morning, afternoon and evening and she already is panicking about using the last one tomorrow. She says they’ve been extremely effective already and is talking about consulting the GP for more. I’m worried she’ll get addicted and I don’t know what to do to help her. When they begin to wear off she gradually starts getting worked up and hyperventilating again and once the next one kicks in it shuts it down.

*looking for my codeine tablets which I had to hide

No, I’d positively welcome it. 2mg is an interesting extremely low dose, and it’s only for a couple of days. Just enough to take the edge off ever so slightly over the weekend.

Has she got an appointment with anyone tomorrow? Concentrate on that. She needs follow up.

Extremely low dose^ (I don’t know where the “interesting” came from)

@ArriettyJones I did read that it was pretty much a placebo dose and wondered if her feeling so much calmer on them was her imaging it. But they have done what the doctor said they word, helped her to manage the pain in a way that she isn’t breaking down etc

But then she comes back having been given a sleeping pill and 2mg diazepam, as well as a 4 more diazepam to use when needed. They are going to have a mental health home team contact her and they will arrange to come and see her. We then went home and she was so drugged up I had to help her into bed. It was devastating.

The sleeping pill would have been having more of an effect than the 2mg of diazepam.

Have you got contact details for the MH home team?

Diazepam is fine for a few days and yes it’s a low dose. Using it for a few days will be really beneficial if it helps her to feel a bit calmer.

How are you doing? As someone who has watched a loved one struggle with their mental health I know how tough it can be. Make sure you’re looking after yourself too x

[quote ohrien]@ArriettyJones I did read that it was pretty much a placebo dose and wondered if her feeling so much calmer on them was her imaging it. But they have done what the doctor said they word, helped her to manage the pain in a way that she isn’t breaking down etc[/quote]
It’s not a high enough dose to get addicted. So don’t worry.

I’ve often heard it called placebo, but it clearly does something even at low dose. For illustration - I am sometimes prescribed it for short term use to treat muscle spasms (I have a spinal condition) and when I’ve tried taking a lower dose then prescribed, it wasn’t enough to help my back but did make me feel a bit relaxed. 2mg must be right in the edge of “placebo” IYSWIM.

Don’t get sidetracked by the diazepam issue. It sounds all very stressful.

I take 2mg for when my back goes into spasm and they're effective at that dosage so not a placebo effect. They also make me very calm as well so rather enjoy taking them as life seems so much easier on them! 2mg is a low dosage but will help calm her to an extent so seems appropriate.

She's read that its highly addictive. Teens do this. They imagine alĺ the drama with themselves at the centre. Don't rise to it. 'Last one, oh well darling nevermind. Pop the kettle on would you'

They won’t keep giving her diazepam long term.

But diazepam are brilliant for a short term fix! I’ve been on various antidepressants most of my adult life but had a few days on diazepam last year and it was brilliant for my anxiety, I felt like a normal person for the first time in years, even when confronted by things that normally give me panic attacks. I have a high tolerance for sedatives so didn’t have a knocked out effect personally. I wish I could be on it all the time but as you said, it’s very addictive. Which is why she won’t be prescribed it long term. But she won’t be addicted after just a couple of days taking a low dose.

She may be given alternative medication, which is more suitable for long term use. But they usually take several weeks to take effect, whereas diazepam is fast acting.

I don't think right now is a good time to be worrying about that. Let her wallow in her bed for a couple of days. It will be the pills making her drousy and nauseated. Go buy her some chocolate and ice-cream for now, but in a few days we would be having a very serious chat because that is not an acceptable reaction to a boy she's been seeing for only 5 months -most of which was spebt apart- breaking up with her. She would be getting some serious therapy if she was my daughter

I’m just terrified for her and don’t know how to help her.

She tells me that to escape the pain she convinces herself she can travel back in time or to an alternate dimension. She’s not delusional knows rationally that it’s not possible, but as a last resort in the middle of a breakdown she convinces herself “I’m going to shut my eyes and in 30 seconds when I open them this will have reversed itself” and she becomes extremely distressed when it doesn’t work.

Guck let the poor girl have it.

Nervous breakdown is a very old fashioned phrase. It's mental health crisis these days .

Maybe get her a private psychiatrist assessment.

that is not an acceptable reaction to a boy she's been seeing for only 5 months -most of which was spebt apart- breaking up with her

She’s 17 and clearly has some serious mental health issues. The op said things had been building up so it wasn’t about her boyfriend breaking up with her, that was just the last straw that caused her to break.

I’m not withholding it from her, the doctors know better than me. I’m well aware of that. All I want to do is help her.

MH team coming to see her at some point tomorrow. She’s requested we go out when they arrive because she thinks me and her dad will get upset and she doesn’t want the guilt of seeing that.

The boyfriend wasn’t a normal relationship. This may be a dripfeed but I need to get it all out for my own sake so I can process it. I need to process it to help her. The boyfriend has been abusive to her in all forms. But she’s only admitting this to me now. She’s only told me this in the past few days but he pressured her into performing sex acts (not rape, but demanding a certain sex act and when she didn’t agree he’d physically push her even though she’d told him she didn’t want to), and apparently on occasion when they were ‘playfighting’ in public he picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and onto the floor and didn’t help her up. And he also got her in a headlock at one point and DD was frightened and he insisted he was teaching her self defence. Emotionally, he’s messed with her head and she’s confided in him about her mental health so he knew full well what he was doing when he was saying one day he wanted to be with her and the next he didn’t etc. He made demeaning jokes about her.

I’ve told it all to DH who went nuclear and I had to talk him out of going round to his house.

What a cunt her boyfriend was. Yes, sometimes things feel magnified when you're 17. I'm not surprised that she needed help.
Just keep things as normal as possible. Try to avoid her listening to sad music.

I know it's very, very different, but as a teenager I took diazepam recreationally, regularly taking 50mg or so, with no addictions or even anything close.

I really wouldn't worry too much about the amount she has been given, certainly not as a one off. It sounds like it was something that she very much needed at the time. I have been in similar states on quite a few occasions and it is so hard. Sometimes you really do need help to regain calm. I think GPs are very wary about benzodiazepine prescriptions these days (as a longer term prescription, rather than a one off), pretty much because they can be very addictive. She is very unlikely to be given a regular prescription (or even emergency ones judging by friends) by a GP for diazepam. Just keep giving her the love and support you are and don't worry about the diazepam bit at all.

Echoing others it is a low dose if it is making her feel calmer.
How are you feeling? You must be in a state seeing her breakdown like that. I hope things get sorted and she is better soon.
From your update she must have felt like a pressure cooker.

Hopefully the MH team will put something in place quickly for her. A talking therapy would be good.

So sorry OP for you and your daughter. This sounds traumatic.

I am glad that he is out of her life, and I hope that she can start to heal now.

Poor lass. Hope she gets some help and support and you do too

She’s said that she knew what he thought of her but she kept going back for that treatment because she felt like she deserved it and needed to punish herself

I could fucking kill him. How fucking dare he do this to her. Took all I had not to cry in front of her

No, they were right to give her Diazepam 2mg. It's a low dose and quite effective. They only gave her four tablets to take home which is usual. It isn't a placebo, it works but is not enough for her to become addicted so don't worry about that.

Nobody would blame your husband for going round to the boy's house (as long as he didn't kill or maim him), the way he behaved was vile and it would serve him right for his parents to find out. I think they should know. They might not believe it at first, who would want to, but he is likely to do it to another girl and then another.

I really hope she feels better soon, she, you and husband have my sympathy.