To think DD shouldn’t have been given diazepam?

[ohrien]

My 17 year old had a nervous breakdown last night. She’s been severely depressed since lockdown and it’s all been building up but she was sent over the edge when she was scrolling FB and saw her boyfriend of 5 months had changed his status to in a relationship with another girl before they’d even split. The breakdown was absolutely horrendous, broke some glass off a mirror and ran it down her arm. Thankfully only left a scratch. Tried looking my codeine tablets which I had to had. Her body was physically collapsing into just screaming on the floor that she didn’t want to live anymore. She was on the floor for 2 hours and eventually ended up rocking back and forth not saying a word. In a catatonic state. It was utterly terrifying to watch as a mother and I’ll never forget the sight. I ended up packing a bag and making her go to A&E at midnight.

A&E assessed her (I waited in triage) and she was in there talking to one of the doctors for an hour. I was hoping they’d keep her in as I didn’t know how to help her. But then she comes back having been given a sleeping pill and 2mg diazepam, as well as a 4 more diazepam to use when needed. They are going to have a mental health home team contact her and they will arrange to come and see her. We then went home and she was so drugged up I had to help her into bed. It was devastating.

Today she’s been in bed all day but I have managed to get her to have a shower, brush teeth and wash hair. She won’t eat anything, she says it’s not that she is worried about eating it’s just that she has no desire to and feels sick. She was told to take 3 of the diazepam today and the last one tomorrow. She has taken one morning, afternoon and evening and she already is panicking about using the last one tomorrow. She says they’ve been extremely effective already and is talking about consulting the GP for more. I’m worried she’ll get addicted and I don’t know what to do to help her. When they begin to wear off she gradually starts getting worked up and hyperventilating again and once the next one kicks in it shuts it down.

@ohrien

She’s said that she knew what he thought of her but she kept going back for that treatment because she felt like she deserved it and needed to punish herself

I could fucking kill him. How fucking dare he do this to her. Took all I had not to cry in front of her

I've been in an abusive relationship... it creates a trauma bond where you keep going back for more and it lowers your self esteem. You don't understand why you are doing it. But there's a reason on the level of your brain chemistry.

pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2015/10/what-is-trauma-bonding/

I do hope some time away from him can help her to heal and get better.

I get a bit frustrated by how diazepam is viewed by so many people who don't actually know much about it. It is not a magic bullet but nor is it a demon substance.

In certain situations it is an excellent drug. Yes, it has to be used carefully because there is a risk of addiction if used inappropriately. However there are certain circumstances when it is the best choice of drug out there.

It sounds to me like whoever prescribed it was aiming to break the cycle of extreme distress/ panic your daughter was in, to give her a chance of feeling 'normal' so she can start to speak about her feelings and process them.

2mg is a very small dose (but I'd argue can still be useful, it is not too small to take the edge off horrific distress in someone sensitive to the medication) and she will not become addicted over the course of the weekend.

Oh, I've just read that the ex-bf was an abusive twat.

I'm so sorry your daughter went through that. She is lucky to have you to support her

She tells me that to escape the pain she convinces herself she can travel back in time or to an alternate dimension. She’s not delusional knows rationally that it’s not possible, but as a last resort in the middle of a breakdown she convinces herself “I’m going to shut my eyes and in 30 seconds when I open them this will have reversed itself” and she becomes extremely distressed when it doesn’t work.

Her idea of using a relaxation technique to handle a breakdown is an excellent one. What she needs now is to find one that doesn't hold out promises and ends in disappointment. Could you discuss it between you?

2mg is definitely a low dose. My friend was prescribed 5mg after he was suicidal after a xanax binge ironically. I've taken 15mg recreationally which is little more than sleepy tipsy.

I've also taken it when I've been acutely depressed and anxious for which it helped a lot, and to be honest, if I'd had more access to it, it would have prevented me self medicating with alcohol to an extent.

Long story short, I think if your daughter is having a really hard time and its likely to be short lived, diazepam is a very appropriate prescription.

Let your husband go round, he sounds like a cunt. Is he the same age? I'd be talking to his mother.

The MH team will assess her needs far better than they could of in A&E. They wouldn't/couldn't have sectioned her based off this one epsiode, as awful as it was to experience. She was obviously able to talk to the psychiatrist as well, which is great. The self harm must have been shocking for you, but the fact that she only left a scratch is good. It means she didn't want to seriously harm herself. I imagine she wanted the codeine to 'numb' herself, even though it doesn't work that way. The diazepam will just be to get her through the weekend. They really don't like prescribing it even medium term due to the addicting nature.

It won't help her with her problems, but one thing I use is a fidget cube. It really helps me when I'm feeling anxious, and they're quite cheap so it might be worth a try.

I had a high dose of Diazepam prescribed when my husband died suddenly (cancer diagnosis to death in 8 days) I was 37 with 3 young children. Took one to help, it threw me out for 24 hours and my Mum had to look after my children. Not taken any medication since.

I'm so sorry to hear what your poor daughter has been through. My DD had her first serious relationship at a similar age to your DD. He seemed like the dream boyfriend at first, all her friends were envious and we thought he was lovely too initially. We welcomed him into the family and my younger children adored him. But as time went on I began to suspect that he was a bit controlling so I was quite relieved when she met someone else and split up with him. It was only afterwards that she divulged quite how controlling he was. Not in the same league as your DD's ex, but enough for me to be very relieved that she got away, and for me to see how easy it is for an otherwise bright and independent young woman (and her family) to get sucked into what was without doubt a toxic relationship.
I'm glad your DD is out of this relationship even though the split has distressed her so much. Hopefully in time she will be able to see things for what they are and things will get better.
The diazepam sounds like a reasonable step to me in the circumstances. It sounds like the A&E staff were doing their best to keep her safe and reduce her distress until she could be seen after the weekend. They gave her just enough to tide her over and made sure appropriate review was arranged. If they had given her a large quantity or suggested that diazepam was the long term answer then yes, that would have been awful, but as an emergency response it can be the right thing. Benzodiazepines get a bad press because of the way they were used almost unthinkingly in the past, but they can be very useful if prescribed appropriately.
Sadly mental health services are very restricted in many places and inpatient beds are like rocking horse poo. I have several friends and relatives in different parts of the country who have had terrible experiences. And facilities for children and young adults seem to be even more scarce than adult ones.
The staff's hands are often tied die to the lack of resources available to them.So whilst there possibly better ways for your DD's situation to have been managed if the facilities were there, I suspect the A&E staff were doing the best they could in the situation. Plus to be fair, if admission can safely be avoided it might well be better for her to be at home with you than in hospital.
Hopefully she, and you, will get the support needed from the mental health team tomorrow.
Don't be afraid to seek support yourself as caring for a loved one with mental health problems can be very difficult. I hope things improve soon.

Poor thing. Her ex sounds like a nasty little shit. I would recommend that after doctors etc that you take her to womens aid and ask her to be put on the freedom program group course. It is fantastic and will hopefully stop her from getting tangled up with abusive little arseholes again

Did she have any depression/anxiety prior to meeting this boy and prior to lockdown OP?

OP

I get your concern around addiction etc
But the next step is to arrange counselling and possible some anti depressants to tide her over , medication exists and it has its place

The ideal obviously is a decent therapist , and be prepared to have to pay for one of the NHS can support her in a decent timeframe

I wish you well , I had to send my
Elder child to therapy . Having your kids go through this is upsetting , worrying , scary

But MH is part and package of life and so have hope that this can be addressed

Wishing you strength and her healing

OP , just read your update about her EA ex
This will sound very strange but there are some positives here
(A) she is having some very normal and human reactions to being in traumatic situation
(B) she has learnt the hard way at a very tender age how abusive relationships are

Knowing this makes her reaction far easier to. Understand

And there are resources that can help her process , learn , move on

I know it’s horrible seeing this , but actually her reaction is right , and human

EA relationships are stressing at any age

This site has helped me process the same

As someone who had similar as a teen, LET HER HAVE HER PRESCRIBED MEDS. I fought with my parents' stigmas toward MH medication and I could have had YEARS without suffering. Many friends are still dealing with stigma of taking meds that they are addictive like opiods and will be worse than depression (they are not) and the side effects that would go away after a few months, they cycle through over and over because they don't want to feel dependent on something WHICH KEEPS THEM WELL. Sorry, bit of a soapbox.

no.doctors arent meant giving diazapam now for a very good reason.

but he pressured her into performing sex acts (not rape, but demanding a certain sex act and when she didn’t agree he’d physically push her even though she’d told him she didn’t want to), the fucking arsehole. This is sexual assault, your poor girl.

Kateandme stop talking bollocks. It’s an extremely useful medication for short term trauma, and it’s still available for prescription by doctors (and dentists) for good reason.

Your poor daughter, I don’t think a GP would prescribe diazepam long term, the GP is more likely to go with a SSRI such as Fluoxetine. She won’t get addicted to diazepam for such a short time, I was on them for a fortnight when I tore my spine I wasn’t addicted after that amount of time.

Talking therapy and SSRI is the way to go for a young girl.

Your husband is a better man than me.

Best wishes to your daughter, hopefully the drugs are just a sticking plaster short term until she gets the help she needs.

She'll get through it.

MH team came early this morning but DD woke up in a catatonic state and wouldn’t speak of come down so they are coming back tomorrow. They told me I could potentially get 1 more days worth of diazepam from the GP but IF they prescribe it then that’s going to be it.

DH is gutted and was pacing around all night. He knows the road the twat lives on but not the number, if he knew I think he’d be straight down there.

my MH is crap and just when lockdown happened i had a breakdown a culmination of money probs my dog dying and lots more it had all built up over 6 months.
Dr gave me diazepam 2mg but they didnt help. my partner came home from work just as i was about to hang myself from the stairs he rushed me to the emergency mental health team.
they upped my diazepam to 5mg which ok they did knock me out but it meant i could sleep and relax. i only took them for a few days but gradually life got better, the also upped my anti depressants,
i now have an emergency prescription of diazepam just in case

Nervous breakdown is a very old fashioned phrase. It's mental health crisis these days.
I don't think you policing the OP's terminology is necessary or helpful. It doesn't matter whether you say nervous breakdown, mental breakdown or mental health crisis. We know what the OP means. They probably haven't been involved with MH services so I'm sure you could forgive them for saying something that doesn't correspond exactly with the term you use.
My family member had a mental breakdown.

OP, I'm so sorry you and your DC are having such a tough time. It is extremely worrying but the Home Treatment team will come in daily for a while. I'm sure they'll be able to reassure you about the diazepam. They will usually provide limited quantities of medication. They may even just come each day with it.

The fact that your DD has insight into her situation, knows why she is feeling as she does and is able to shower etc and wants to go out with the HT team is very positive.

You sound like a lovely mum who she can talk to so just carry on being there for her when she does need to talk.

I was given the 2mg tablets a couple of years ago for a few days and it did help me, and didn't get me addicted.

Finding the right Ssri and doing some talking therapy is best in the long term but it sounds like it has been managed appropriately.

Small thing but I definitely prefer the term mental health crisis, my partner keeps calling it a nervous breakdown and I hate it. It makes it sound like a weakness somehow.

Phone your GP for the 1 day prescription from the GP (if they are willing to prescribe it), and have it ready as back up. Hope she engages tomorrow with the MH nurse.

I was put up in a terrifying unsafe
Mental hospital and would have loved to have been sent home with tablets that would have been much better for me
Push for mental heath team to come visit ASAP
Drugs are v necessary right now I'd say
Addiction is unlikely as most people like to get off crazy pills ASAP ( usually come off too soon)
Sorry this is happening to your family if it helps I am now a fully functioning member of society happily married, kids no post partum and. Successful career still have wobbles but v happy with life
This does not have to define her