Competing baby shower - should I say something?

[jesusandjollof]

One of my oldest friends (let’s call her Philippa), asked her best friend (Cleo) and I to throw her a socially distanced baby shower. We’ve planned a nice outdoor event for 20 guests (on a 3-acre plot of land - we know there’s still a deadly virus in the air!) Philippa's husband mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago that another of her friends (Becky) contacted him to ask him if there was a baby shower being planned, and he told her that there was, and to get in touch with me or Cleo if she wanted to help as we were planning it.
Cleo sent the invitations out, and she and Becky had a lovely chat about the plans and how exciting it is that Philippa is having a baby.

Philippa sent a text to Cleo today to ask if Becky had mentioned to her that she was planning a separate baby shower (she hadn’t, and they spoke at length a few days ago). Becky has organised another shower and has invited half of the same guests (Cleo and I are not invited which is fine, but I thought it was an odd thing to do).

Cleo says it feels somehow personal, as Becky has form for almost competing for Sandra's friendship. At Philippa's hen weekend a few years ago (I couldn’t attend due to health issues), Becky completely took over and sidelined Cleo, and other friends who were there told me that whenever Cleo was out of earshot, Becky and other members of her friendship circle would call Cleo ‘shit-show’ - completely juvenile, ‘mean girl’ behaviour.

Cleo is upset about it, Philippa finds the whole thing a little awkward, and I think it's unnecessary. Would I Be Unreasonable to ask Becky what she is playing at?

Sorry OP not helpful but your OP and names of choice would make an excellent Sweet Valley High novel! I can just imagine the bitchy Jessica turning up mid Becky's baby shower and doing a really mean girl thing and Sandra/Phillipa and Becky bursting into floods of attention seeking tears.

Becky and Phillippa around as bad as each other.

bluebadgehelp

OP,

You sound sincere and tryingbto be a nice friend.

There is a reason Phillipa is friendly with Becky.......they have lots in common!🙄

You and Cleo should have a good think.

I'd come out and ask Becky why she is organising a second baby shower with the same guests. I don't think you have anything to lose at this point

Good Lord are these people 12 years old? If Phillippa doesn't like Becky's trying to muscle in, and being mean about Cleo, then she could solve this by just NOT GOING to Becky's secondary baby shower. Job done.

(Also, prepared to get flamed here, but Phillippa asked you guys to arrange a shower for her? Is that not a bit grabby? I can't think of any baby showers I've been to that haven't been both suggested and organised entirely by the mum-to-be's friends, and MTB has just been asked to keep the date free. About half of them have been total surprises dressed up as a lunch or something).

If they're different groups of friends isn't it a good thing to have 2 showers? Like the american lady said somewhere upthread ^
I.e. you have one with your group, and Becky and the uni friends that you don't like have a separate one?
It's a win-win
unless there's a cross over in the guests

It all sounds very exhausting.
Why dont you just have separate baby showers and ideally no more than 6 people (or 2 hosueholds) if you are in England and then abide by the guidelines and reduce the stress of big gatherings trying to outdo each other

Why hate something just because it's American? Never understand the sheer dislike of American things on here. If you don't like them then don't have one but stop moaning about it being American. It's ridiculously immature

misses point

If phillipa hasn't got the integrity to sort this out and stand up to this bully I would walk away and let them get on with it.I would not let Cleo be treated so badly at all.