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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he stole my keys?

66 replies

JoinedTheDarksideForKylo · 19/07/2020 11:43

My DH’s keys have been missing for a few weeks. We’ve looked around the house for them multiple times but never had any luck finding them. We haven’t been too worried as we haven’t been anywhere but at home and the odd time DH has used his car he has used my keys. I was thinking my 4 year old had probably done something with them and they would turn up eventually.

We THINK they went missing around the time we had a few of my DH’s friends over for a social distanced BBQ and a few drinks. But that’s only in hind sight.

But last night that same friends daughter came over to babysit while DH and I went out for dinner. DH’s friend dropped his daughter off and disappeared as soon as we left for the restaurant. When we got home, DHs keys where on a table by the sofa.

Now I cleaned my house top to bottom before the babysitter came over, disinfected everything I could. I know his keys weren’t on the table. It’s making me feel a bit strange. Our house key and car key is on there, and I have a feeling this friend of ours took them and returned them without telling us... but why?

Nothing is missing, my DH has known this man for years, I’ve met him and his wife a few times for dinner or wine. Should I be worried? Or has he just accidentally picked up our keys at some point by accident and returned them and I’m overreacting?

OP posts:
LillianBland · 19/07/2020 11:47

Maybe he lifted them while he drunk, but is too embarrassed to say, for some weird reason.

marchez · 19/07/2020 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipsandpeas · 19/07/2020 11:48

i think accidently picked up and didnt want to admit it

Original poster
JoinedTheDarksideForKylo · 19/07/2020 12:00

I don’t really understand why you’d be embarrassed about it. These things happen.

Is was more strange to not mention it.

OP posts:
Clipclop10 · 19/07/2020 12:07

Maybe he has used the keys while you weren't about, let himself in and has put up cameras and possibly listening devices.

Or maybe he has set up a man cave in your attic that he will escape to every time you go out to work.
Or maybe he took them, got a copy and will murder you all in your sleep.

I think he was probably just really embarrassed but you could just ask him?

Itsjustabitofbanter · 19/07/2020 12:10

Well he had no motive to take them for anything. He was too embarrassed to mention it. At least he gave them back.

Bluntness100 · 19/07/2020 12:11

You think it’s easier to believe he stole them than he was embarrassed?

Is he a right dodgey creepy bloke then?

villamariavintrapp · 19/07/2020 12:11

Maybe your DS or the babysitter found them? They might have been playing different games than you normally do, so looked in different places etc?

GinDrinker00 · 19/07/2020 12:11

I’m going with they got a copy so they can murder you in your sleep.

Daisychains20 · 19/07/2020 12:12

A bit strange yes, could well be embarrassed about taking them but to be honest I would have thought being friends you would have thought nothing of it had it said at the time he had picked your keys up by mistake.

Thinks this depends how much you trust this person, personally if it was me now I know that the keys had left the house and been somewhere you don’t know I would change my house locks ASAP.

Shemeanswell · 19/07/2020 12:12

What if you texted “thanks for the keys!” And see what the response is.

Shemeanswell · 19/07/2020 12:14

Your friend could have told the daughter to give the keys back, and she just forgot to mention it, or didn’t realise there was a message to go with it

Bluntness100 · 19/07/2020 12:15

Agree the babysitter could have found them down th sofa or something and put them on the table.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 19/07/2020 12:15

Your house is probably haunted. You need to arrange an exorcism right now.

Or put it down to your friend picking them up by mistake and returning them discreetly.

AnneElliott · 19/07/2020 12:17

Surely the most likely explanation is that the babysitter found them and left them out in full view for you.

Sally872 · 19/07/2020 12:18

If he wanted to cover tracks properly he would at least have put them in a shoe or somewhere weird 4 year old would have been blamed for.

Either babysitter came across them in toy or somewhere, or he dropped them back and was embarrassed for some weird reason. Or friend told daughter to hand keys back for him and assumed she would mention it but she just left them without mentioning.

Picklypickles · 19/07/2020 12:20

That's strange, why would you be embarrassed to have picked up the wrong keys by mistake? If I got home from a friends house and realised I'd picked up something of theirs accidentally I'd just call/text and say "woops, sorry" and arrange to return it. I don't understand the need for the sneakiness here, I'd probably be changing my locks in this instance!

Ilovenutellaaaaa · 19/07/2020 12:21

He probably took them by mistake like others have said....but if you suspect he as are a copy or something, just get the locks changed and dont leave your keys out where people can access them

Witchend · 19/07/2020 12:32

Do you know I've done things like that. Could have sworn I'd searched thoroughly the place I've found them in. Dh is worse. he comes and says they aren't possibly where he left them and I'll go and they're in exactly mid eye range.
We had a key disappeared for three weeks. It appeared on the floor next to the shoe rack. We'd all have swore it wasn't there before.

You obviously think he's suspicious otherwise why would your mind have lept straight to him pinching them.
I'd also have texted the dd and asked "any chance you picked up the keys when you babysat?"

If anything I think the most likely is the dd saw the keys there and thought they were her dads, popped them in her bag to give to him, and forgot for a few days.

Thelnebriati · 19/07/2020 12:36

Change the locks, and in future never leave anything lying around such as your bank cards.

Its silly to think that you can spot a thief by them giving off a creepy vibe. There are thieves and con artists in every walk of life. Don't think you could never be conned because you are a good judge of character. Look at a persons behaviour.

itchyfinger · 19/07/2020 12:37

Why dont you just ask him? Did you leave the keys there, been looking for those for ages! Thanks!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/07/2020 12:47

Ah maybe it was a "Keys In The Fruitbowl" game and he was a bit underwhelmed but didn't like to say Wink

TooTrueToBeGood · 19/07/2020 12:51

What's more likely? That he deliberately stole them and then returned them in a manner that was almost guaranteed to incriminate him or that there is some much more innocent explanation? Maybe he found them outside your house when he dropped his daughter off. Maybe his daughter found them whilst babysitting. Why don't you just ask him?

Wonderingwhy27 · 19/07/2020 12:51

I definitely second texting him and saying thanks so much for the keys, we’d been looking everywhere! Where did you find them?

I feel like it would be really hard for him to straight up lie to a message like that but maybe not!

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 12:53

Or has he just accidentally picked up our keys at some point by accident and returned them and I’m overreacting?

Well what did he say when you asked him?

It's a pretty simple question to ask a friend don't you think?

"John, was it you who left my keys on the table? Only I've been trying to find them for ages and then there they were".

He'd have a much clearer idea than Mumsnet.

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