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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he stole my keys?

66 replies

JoinedTheDarksideForKylo · 19/07/2020 11:43

My DH’s keys have been missing for a few weeks. We’ve looked around the house for them multiple times but never had any luck finding them. We haven’t been too worried as we haven’t been anywhere but at home and the odd time DH has used his car he has used my keys. I was thinking my 4 year old had probably done something with them and they would turn up eventually.

We THINK they went missing around the time we had a few of my DH’s friends over for a social distanced BBQ and a few drinks. But that’s only in hind sight.

But last night that same friends daughter came over to babysit while DH and I went out for dinner. DH’s friend dropped his daughter off and disappeared as soon as we left for the restaurant. When we got home, DHs keys where on a table by the sofa.

Now I cleaned my house top to bottom before the babysitter came over, disinfected everything I could. I know his keys weren’t on the table. It’s making me feel a bit strange. Our house key and car key is on there, and I have a feeling this friend of ours took them and returned them without telling us... but why?

Nothing is missing, my DH has known this man for years, I’ve met him and his wife a few times for dinner or wine. Should I be worried? Or has he just accidentally picked up our keys at some point by accident and returned them and I’m overreacting?

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 19/07/2020 12:56

More likely to be his daughter finding them. Id text her and say thanks, we were looking everywhere, where were they? Then if it wasnt her she'll probably say....

NewnameOldposter · 19/07/2020 12:57

Could DH message the friend and thank his daughter for finding them, and where were they, as you've both been looking for them for weeks? Might get an admission from him if he did mistakenly pick them up, or if she did indeed find them, know where they were/if your child had them hidden all along?

NCParanoia · 19/07/2020 12:57

Potentially DH Friend found them in the last few days but thought "DD is babysitting in a few days ill get her to take them over." and told the DD to mention it to you but she forgot to?

NewnameOldposter · 19/07/2020 12:58

@starfishmummy great minds think alike Grin

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 12:59

Don't 'thank him for the keys'.

That's passive aggressive nonsense.

Just ask him about them in an adult manner.

purplecorkheart · 19/07/2020 13:07

I would think it would be more likely that the babysitter found them when playing with your child.

isabellerossignol · 19/07/2020 13:10

It is weird.

But there have been a few times when I have lost something, it's been missing for weeks, the house has been turned upside down, everyone has searched, and then a few weeks later it suddenly appears in exactly the place where I thought it should be all along. It always drives me crazy as I can't explain it.

Could be something similar?

But the best thing to do is ask him.

MitziK · 19/07/2020 13:13

Most likely situations are;

  1. Babysitter dropped her phone/DC dropped something or was playing with sofa cushions and found a set of keys 'Let's put them safe so Daddy can see them when he gets home'.
  1. DC came out playing with them from wherever they'd been moved to 'Let's put the safe so Daddy can see them when he gets home'.

No key stealing involved.

Or the least likely one;

  1. He picked up the keys by accident when leaving and put them in a jacket/hoodie pocket, then hung it up when he got home and hasn't worn it since. Wears it last night and puts his hand in his pocket and finds them. 'They're not mine. Shit.', puts them on the table and hopes nobody realises where they've been (in a pocket) or has paid out a load of money for replacements in the meantime.

Still nothing nefarious about it.

MitziK · 19/07/2020 13:14

@Witchend

Do you know I've done things like that. Could have sworn I'd searched thoroughly the place I've found them in. Dh is worse. he comes and says they aren't possibly where he left them and I'll go and they're in exactly mid eye range. We had a key disappeared for three weeks. It appeared on the floor next to the shoe rack. We'd all have swore it wasn't there before.

You obviously think he's suspicious otherwise why would your mind have lept straight to him pinching them.
I'd also have texted the dd and asked "any chance you picked up the keys when you babysat?"

If anything I think the most likely is the dd saw the keys there and thought they were her dads, popped them in her bag to give to him, and forgot for a few days.

In your case, I'd say they'd been dropped and landed in a shoe that hasn't been worn recently and then said shoe had been moved.
Jaxhog · 19/07/2020 13:20

Another one for him just being very embarrassed. I Imagine he picked up the keys by mistake and found them in his pocket a couple of weeks later.

Ask your DH to have a quiet word. It'll probably be a relief, and an excuse for a laugh, for both of them.

wildone84 · 19/07/2020 13:23

@LillianBland

Maybe he lifted them while he drunk, but is too embarrassed to say, for some weird reason.
I expect this is what happened. Maybe he put them somewhere in his drunkenness, only discovered them recently and can't believe he's had them this whole time and is v embarrassed.
MzHz · 19/07/2020 13:26

I’d message them “oh my god, you found the keys? That’s brilliant we were wondering where they were, where did you find them!?”

And see what happens

If someone took them on purpose they wouldn’t say

If they took them by accident they would

CrooksAndNannies · 19/07/2020 13:30

Maybe he's a confused swinger?

Takes a few keys rather than throw them in The Bowl?

Wink
Delbelleber · 19/07/2020 13:33

Weird!!

Apolloanddaphne · 19/07/2020 13:35

I suspect the babysitter found them. Message her and say thanks and ask her where she found them?

FortunesFave · 19/07/2020 13:43

How old is the babysitter? I'm afraid I'm suspicious by nature and I'd be wondering if my husband had given the keys to the girl for some reason and lied about 'losing them' because he'd forgotten to get them back off her.

back2good · 19/07/2020 13:49

I think he accidentally picked them up and pocketed them in his state, and was embarrassed when he sobered up and found them and realised what he must have done.

FortunesFave · 19/07/2020 13:53

Not sure why people keep thinking it was the friend rather than his daughter.

OP says the friend disappeared as soon as they went to the restaurant. It would be more reasonable to assume it was the babysitter who left them.

OP did the friend even go into the sitting room?

CustardySergeant · 19/07/2020 13:55

FortunesFave Do you mean you think the OP's husband may be having an affair with his friend's daughter? If that is what your post means, are you serious?

CustardySergeant · 19/07/2020 13:56

I'm referring to your post at 13:43:18, btw.

MyGirlDaisy · 19/07/2020 13:58

I think your babysitter found them somewhere, sofa or inside a toy maybe - as others have said text and ask her where she found them.

Fiveletters · 19/07/2020 13:58

Yeah he should text and say thanks for bringing them back!

lifesalongsong · 19/07/2020 13:59

Why don't you just ask them?

It's pretty obvious one of them put them there, things turn up in strange places but they obviously haven't been sitting in plain sight for weeks

SurferRona · 19/07/2020 14:00

I once had a new boyfriend thought he’d lose his car keys in my car. Only realised they were missing after I’d dropped him at a train station. I had a good look, couldn’t find them. Over next few weeks or so he used the spare pair his mum had (they shared the car) and kept saying that he’d have to order a new set at well over £100. Then couple of days later I moved the car seat back and found the bloody keys. Thankfully, he’d not ordered the new set, but it was close and I’d have been mortified. Had he ordered the set I may have just kept quiet....might that be the case here OP?

FortunesFave · 19/07/2020 14:06

Custardy why is that so shocking? It happens all the time you know.

Nothing wrong with chucking it out there as a suggestion.