To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
That's fine. I'm also guessing from your reasonable approach that you don't do what a minority of people do in my area which is look at all the parks and green spaces that are available and then choose to take your children (who are scared of off lead dogs) to the space well known locally for being a safe area, popular for off lead exercise and then get jumpy and arsey at the mere presence of off lead dogs who are nowhere near your child.

That's because the child does come first.
From a legal perspective, from a moral perspective, in every single fucking way the child always comes ahead of the dog. Always.
You're missing the point. Deliberately I'm guessing.

The point I was making is that some parents think the whole world should cater around the fact they have a child and that the whole world should bend around their preferences.

So they/their child doesn't like off lead dogs, but rather than go to any number of places where there are no off lead dogs, they choose to go to places known for exercising dogs off lead and then complain or be arsey about the fact there are dogs off lead. These dogs are nowhere near them or their child. Nobody is being attacked. They just don't like the fact that there are dogs off lead and want to have a good old moan about it.

Nowhere in law does it say 'my child's preference never to see an off lead dog means other members of the public should refrain from exercising their dog in a perfectly legal way'.

That's because the child does come first. From a legal perspective, from a moral perspective, in every single fucking way the child always comes ahead of the dog.

Yes of course in terms of safety. But just remember some people don’t or can’t have children and their dogs are their family.

Yes, because she was bred to be a working dog, for fox hunting. Not as a domestic pet

Her ancestors were bred for ratting, they were never used for hunting of foxes or anything else.

The world doesn't have to revolve around the fact that some people choose to have dogs (and that some owners think their dogs need for exercise comes before a child safety)
True some do. They are irresponsible owners

I'd argue that if people choose to bring their dog to a wide open space where it's known that there are people then they should accept that they should have good recall of their dog, and if not then they should be on a lead for people's safety
Also true.

What a good job I'd literally just said this (in the bit you quoted!)
They'd have grounds to complain if a dog ran up and approached them, but not the existence of off lead exercise.

YANBU I love dogs but have been knocked over and stolen from by out of control dogs.

However, I really like meeting other people's dogs and chatting to their owners. It doesn't bother me if dogs are off the lead and say a respectful (non bounding) hello to me and my kids.

I let my dog off the lead as he needs a lot of exercise and space to run. I choose off peak times and more remote areas, where there are mainly just other dog walkers. It has been much harder to do recently as more people are using outdoor public spaces, which is obviously their right, but changes the way dog users can use the space. I long for the depths of winter when our two to three hours of walking will go back to normal...

I long for the depths of winter when our two to three hours of walking will go back to normal...

Absobloodylutely.

YANBU. I am really not a dog person. I don't hate them, I just don't "get" them. But I do hate OTT dog people (not all dog people luckily there are far more sensible ones than stupid, I'm talking about the ones the OP is describing).

Last week on the beach, a beach where it clearly stated NO DOGS my son got whipped in the eye by an soaking wet over enthusiastic Labrador wagging its tail like a maniac as it pushed past my son. He's 3. And was really upset - the owner could not have given two shits I think he thought my son was privileged to be smacked in the face by a wet tail of his "fur baby". And he also didn't give a shit when I told him there's no dogs allowed on this beach. "Everyone brings them here". Oh well that's ok then dickhead

Scottsberger
There's no reasoning with some.

I've literally said it's irresponsible to let dogs approach people and people have grounds to complain if a dog runs up to them, but they haven't got grounds to complain that people exercise their dogs off lead (which is a totally legal and reasonable thing to do) just because they/their children don't like it.
The response: but children do come first!!!

It's news to me that children's preferences about who/what they see has legal priority over every other member of society.

I don't know about others but I feel like if you're like me, ie not a dog person or have a phobia of dogs, they sniff you out and jump up at you.

I really do think there's a strong argument against keeping dogs as domestic pets. It's cruel. Therapy dogs and guide dogs, I'm all for. There's huge benefits to those. But enslaving a canine to your house and convincing yourself it loves you (it doesn't, you feed it and it's grateful) all because you want a plaything/reason to walk/a creature to "love" you, is cruel - not a popular opinion but there you go.

YANBU, I used to be terrified of dogs as a kid and people like this were part of the reason why. My dad went mental when some woman's dog jumped on me when I was really little and frightened me, and I remember my brother getting menaced by this nasty little Jack Russell that was off-leash when he was quite young and the owner going 'oh he's just playing'. Was he balls. It took a long time for me to get over my fear of dogs.

One of my friends had a bulldog and she was very aware of the fact that while he was a genuinely friendly dog, he was also big and heavy and could easily knock a small child over. I've gotten over my fear of dogs now, but I was nervous around him at first and she was considerate enough to keep him on leash. However, she did have to deal with parents getting annoyed because she didn't want their kids petting her dog. She wasn't being a bitch, she just didn't want him accidentally knocking a kid over. And I agree that kids shouldn't just assume all dogs want to be petted. Some of them really don't like it.

some people don’t or can’t have children and their dogs are their family

Not having children doesnt mean you dont have a family unless you get a dog .

Too many people have dogs. A dog is a live, predatory animal. Most breeds were bred for work in some form or other, often chasing/hunting/flushing animals because that is what predators do.

Dogs are useful for these purposes and I respect them being kept where they are needed. I intensely dislike mass ownership of dogs, often in towns and cities, where their innate exercise needs are more difficult to meet and are bound to infringe upon people.

Too many dog owners anthropomorphise dogs. Its not a baby, its not a child, it's a completely different species with it's own traits. It doesnt need ours.

Dogs are not essential.

YANBU
Many dog owners don’t seem to understand that lots of people don’t want their dog anywhere near them. I don’t want to stroke your dog or have it sniffing around me / jumping at me. Don’t care if it’s friendly- I don’t want it right up next to me. Slobbering and stinky. Had a fair few jump up and me with muddy feet and ruin my trousers whilst on a walk. Kids have had sandwiches taken right out of their hands. Had dogs run through our picnic blanket all over food and the owners don’t even apologise! I think it’s extremely rude and selfish

I encounter these dogs/dog owners every time we are out in foot, on bikes or at the beach. Ie every single time we are out and not in the car.

Doesn't matter to me so much but my anxious 9 yo is terrified of dogs. She doesn't understand why so many dog owners don't give a fuck. It makes life more difficult for her.

I know Lola you sound totally reasonable.

Too many people on a beach are more annoying than any dogs.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

A dog is a pack animal which can be a huge risk to a young child. Their fear of a dog is an entirely natural thing which ensures a young child exercises caution to protect themselves. That good natural caution is overridden by over friendly domesticated dogs.

It doesnt change that that natural fear is a protective attribute in a child and I am no way going to train my child out of it. There are over 200,000 cases of dogs biting humans every year in England. I teach my child how to behave sensibly around animals but I'm perfectly happy he is cautious, even fearful of dogs.

everyone should teach their children to be cautious round dogs, ie don't go stroke a dog without asking or dont stroke a dog through a gate that they don't know, but why would you want your child to be fearful? I'd argue this would make them more likely to be bitten/ hurt if they did come across a dangerous dog or even an energetic dog, someone who is confident round dogs and not scared are more likely to stand still, someone who is scared is more likely to run away and get chased/ knocked over or if it is a dangerous dog bitten.

convincing yourself it loves you (it doesn't, you feed it and it's grateful) all because you want a plaything/reason to walk/a creature to "love" you, is cruel - not a popular opinion but there you go

My dog’s favourite person in the whole world is my son. He doesn’t feed her - he’s vegan and meat repulses him - he doesn’t even live with her. When he appears she squeaks and nearly turns herself inside out with excitement. She lies and gazes at him. That’s love, whether you believe it or not.

@GlummyMcGlummerson this is true about almost all ‘pets’ Humans keeping animals because the want a creature to love. In many cases is cruel even if they have a ‘good life’ Animals are not meant to be cooped up in a cage or 3 bed semi. What surprises me is the amount of vegans who claim they love animals are happy to keep small pets in cages!

I've got to the point I let my son carry a "dog stick". It makes him feel safer when he knows he can hit the fucking bounding uncontrolled ones in self defence if they jump up in his face. It's happened too many times lately. I'm a dog owner of over 30 years. I would never have excused any poor ownership abilities and any inability to control my animal as "oh don't worrrrrry!!!! He's only plaaaaaying!" Pisses me off when people are incapable.of a) controlling their off lead animals and b) expect small children to, in a moment of fear, remain still and not run. Love that all the whataboutists are riding in on their whatabout horses, galloping all over the main point of the op's opening point with their offended views.

Lolasmiles

You assume your dog is in control. You cannot actually guarantee that it is, always. If something unusual or unexpected happened beyond your control, a scared dog can be unpredictable and behave outside its training. Any dog, even trained, has the capacity to be incredibly dangerous to a child.

It's nothing to do with "preferences against seeing a dog off lead". Its all about us not being blind that a car backfiring near your dog and it's not a friendly labrador, it's one step from a wolf, and it may react in a way that could hurt a child, or an adult.

Its that. Do you see?

@Alsohuman

convincing yourself it loves you (it doesn't, you feed it and it's grateful) all because you want a plaything/reason to walk/a creature to "love" you, is cruel - not a popular opinion but there you go

My dog’s favourite person in the whole world is my son. He doesn’t feed her - he’s vegan and meat repulses him - he doesn’t even live with her. When he appears she squeaks and nearly turns herself inside out with excitement. She lies and gazes at him. That’s love, whether you believe it or not.

same with my DB's Labrador. when I visit he just lies next to me on the sofa with his tail thumping.

Yeah we get it @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland, you hate dogs. We accept that. Now can we stop with the dramatics from someone so woefully ignorant they think Jack Russells were bred to hunt foxes?

Yanbu. This annoys me so much. I don't care how friendly the dog is. I don't want it in my bubble. Just as people/kids shouldn't approach someone's dog without permission the dog shouldn't approach others without their permission. I don't like it. Really wish lead laws were tighter. Like places they can be off lead (and the likes of me could avoid) and places they can't.

Some people can be so small minded.

They hate dogs and they make sure their children hate them too.

That so sad, open up your mind. Embrace the love! Who knows, there might be a chihuahua out there for you too.

You don't need to establish your and your offspring's right to be crown of creation. Relax.

YANBU this might be out in as to where I live but there have been several reports of dogs killing cats in a particular area whilst the owner watches.