To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

This thread is completely fucking ridiculous now and I will not be bullied by people telling me I have mental health issues because I don't want a fucking dog regardless of size running and jumping up at me and my very small child, or eating my picnic - why is that so flaming hard for people to understand. Just keep your fucking dog on a lead be everythings fine - please explain why many are saying we have to put up with this or not go out. WHY, why can you not compromise - but anyone who doesn't want an out of control dog near them has to not go out. Lots of people think dog owners are selfish c*nts - and this is why

I will repeat again for you @Vodkacranberryplease no one is saying ban dogs, they're saying keep them on a lead in family spaces so everyone can be safe and enjoy, it's outrageous to suggest people have mental health issues because they don't want a dog they dont know from Adam that's 4 times the size of and could if it decided to kill their child, jumping up at their child?!? What is wrong with you. Why do you think people should want that or that its acceptable? It's not about annoyance of course anyone can be irritating but an out of control dog big or small is a potential physical threat both to people and other dogs.

I'm not even scared of dogs not one bit, my Auntie had a Red Setter until I was a teen. I quite like certain breeds. I'm just so sick of the selfish entitled attitude of most dogs owners - which this thread has served highlight. And don't want off lead dogs chasing me or jumping up at me or my child. And I'm sick to the back teeth of the lovely green space where I am being full of dog muck. None of the experiences on here are because people are being irrational - they’re real experiences.

@OchonAgusOchonO I will not be shut down by you, you hate children, love your dog - that's your perogative isn’t it and obviously you believe your dog isn't like this and is well trained. Well absolutely great - not sure why you’re here then trying to derail the thread and minimise people’s real experiences and having an attitude and agenda - surely you should have just read it and thought well thank God my dog isn’t like that and moved on. But no, you’ve sought to bully anyone who has had issues and minimise their experiences and defend dogs attacking people - THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR THIS.

And yes I do think it could be an area thing, and do accept it must be hard to understand if you never see this. But people aren't lying.

We’ve always lived semi-rural but in different locations, never had a problem where we livesd previously, we had woodland on our doorstep which we walked in regularly and a large village park whose tennis courts I used to play on regularly never saw an off lead or out of control dog nor can recall dog muck being a problem. Where we are now I've lost count of the times I’ve been run at and I jumped up at - both with and without my toddler. And the paths here seem to be paved with dog muck. It really is not acceptable.

Example needed of when the injured person is totally or partially at fault?
One time I saw a cyclist falling off because if a dog. He was shouting to the owner that he was going to take him to court and called the police.

The thing is, the dog was allowed of the lead at that time of the year, the cyclist was in a no cycling zone!

The police talked to me as a witness and I said that the dog was going about his normal business, but the cyclist approached fast, startled the dog, the dog barked, started the cyclist who hit the wall.

The cyclist for a £100 fine for cycling where he wasn't supposed to!

My local park is divided into 2 areas one area is nicer than the other it has more amenities and a nice picnic area, its the area where dogs are not allowed, so I do not take my dogs in there, I take them to the other part, unfortunately that part is a short cut to the high street so a lot of people walk through it with their children and then have the fucking cheek to tell me to put my dogs on a lead as their children are scared of dogs sorry but I refuse, they make the decision to use the shortcut instead walking for another five minutes to go round the other area in the dog free zone, some people want the whole area dog free

because I don't want a fucking dog regardless of size running and jumping up at me and my very small child, or eating my picnic - why is that so flaming hard for people to understand
My local park is divided in two areas, the nicest part, with nice trees for shade, flowers, bushes, benches etc...and the other part large open field. Dogs must be on the lead in the former, can run free in the latter.

Yet people seem determine to have picnics in the middle of the field, where clearly dogs can run free. To start with, my puppy would run to people, attracted by the smell of food and being friendly. Almost all encouraged him finding him so cute, so not helping teaching him that it wasn't ok but fine no problem. But one once shouted before puppy was even close to them, actually at a time he came back to me. It got me to observe and indeed, notice they were constantly looking at for any dog coming 6ft from them and shouting at said dog.

I just couldn't understand why anyone who has clear an issue with dogs would opt to sit in the middle of a field known for dogs being left to run free rather than walking 100 yards to be where they wouldn't have to worry about it. Its almost as if they were getting a kick of telling dogs to F off.

@Oldsu, haha cross posting, maybe the same park! Although I suspect it is quite common to have seperate areas for exactly that reason, yet some will still consider that they own both parts.

I will not be bullied by people telling me I have mental health issues because I don't want a fucking dog regardless of size running and jumping up at me and my very small child, or eating my picnic - why is that so flaming hard for people to understand.
Nobody on this thread has said dogs should be running up and jumping at people and eating picnics.
Just keep your fucking dog on a lead be everythings fine
No. I will continue to exercise my dogs in an appropriate and legal way. Off lead does not equal out of control.
Please explain why many are saying we have to put up with this or not go out.
See above. Nobody is saying you should be jumped at.

WHY, why can you not compromise - but anyone who doesn't want an out of control dog near them has to not go out
Off lead does not equal out of control.
Your definition of compromise is not a compromise: it's telling people they should live their lives according to your preferences.
Compromise is accepting there is space in society for everyone to do their thing within the law.

Lots of people think dog owners are selfish cnts - and this is why*
Aka. people do perfectly legal thing that I don't like I shall falsely conflate the perfectly legal action of exercising a dog off lead with dogs being out of control, drop f bombs throughout for emphasis and end with being abusive.

@LolaSmiles 🙏

I wish all dog owners were as responsible and considerate as @LolaSmiles!

WendyHoused
I genuinely think most are to be honest, it's just the minority who are irresponsible arseholes stand out.

I think it's the same with children. Most of the time you can go into town and see loads of children and families, but the ones you pay attention to are the ones letting their kids run around Costa like it's their personal play area, or the ones who are laughing as their child misbehaves the supermarket.

The only difference is that with children most people are rational enough to think 'that child has misbehaved/charged into me on stupid heelies/has knocked my coffee running around the tables in a cafe, that's annoying' and then move on. You don't tend to get hysterical threads saying 'children should never be allowed in any cafes or shops because today a child scooted into me in their heelies and the other day I say saw a couple charging round the supermarket'.

Everyone notices the negative people more than those going about their business in a perfectly reasonable way. Most people have the sense not to start demanding everyone changes around them though.

Now I understand how it happens that posters on here have had dogs steal their picnics. They deliberately choose to eat their picnics in fields where dogs are running around off lead. Why would you choose that place? I think that does suggest that you are looking for an opportunity to complain about dogs.

Why not choose the dog free area? Then you won't be troubled by dogs (you will be troubled by wasps in the late summer, that can't be avoided sadly).

I get the impression that some people actually enjoy being angry with dogs. Sad really.

@MrsGoggings85 - at least one person up thread has suggested banning dogs.

because I don't want a fucking dog regardless of size running and jumping up at me and my very small child, or eating my picnic - why is that so flaming hard for people to understand

Every single dog owner on this thread has agreed with you that this is completely unacceptable behaviour. Why is that so hard for you to grasp?

"I will not be shut down by you, you hate children, love your dog - that's your perogative isn’t it and obviously you believe your dog isn't like this and is well trained.*

Nope. I don't hate children. I dislike poor, inconsiderate behaviour by anyone. It doesn't matter whether they are parents, dog owners, cyclists, joggers, smokers etc

not sure why you’re here then trying to derail the thread and minimise people’s real experiences and having an attitude and agenda

I haven't derailed the thread (other than discussing red squirrels). I have simply pointed out that the issue is inconsiderate behaviour in public areas and that inconsiderate behaviour is unacceptable regardless of whether it is from parents, dog owners, cyclists, joggers, smokers etc. I have not once minimised poor behaviour. I have agreed with many posters that incidents they posted about were awful. Of course I have an agenda. I'm sure you will agree that you also have an agenda. There are very few people on here without an agenda.

But no, you’ve sought to bully anyone who has had issues and minimise their experiences and defend dogs attacking people - THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR THIS.

Feel free to report any post where I have bullied anyone. Disagreement is not bullying. You are the only person on here calling people names, swearing at them and accusing them of saying things they have not said.

Please point out where I have defended dogs attacking people. I have not, and would never, defend that. Equally, I have not defended, and would never defend, dogs being a nuisance to others. As I have repeatedly said, that type of behaviour is unacceptable. All users of public spaces should treat other users with respect and consideration.

Please point out where I have defended dogs attacking people. I have not, and would never, defend that. Equally, I have not defended, and would never defend, dogs being a nuisance to others. As I have repeatedly said, that type of behaviour is unacceptable. All users of public spaces should treat other users with respect and consideration.

I agree with you. No one has said that owners should allow their dogs to annoy other people. This poster appears desperate for a fight.

This poster appears desperate for a fight.

I think that, as most of the dog owners are responding in a calm, rational manner, she is going on the attack and personally insulting people to provoke them. She seems to think that repeatedly saying the dog owners here are supportive of dogs causing a nuisance/danger makes it true. It doesn't.

Where I live there are two parks - a big one with a children's playground (no dogs) a dog free fenced off garden and the main part where all dogs have to be on leads

Then the other one which is out of the way, is actually a cemetery, and is quite wild. No kids playground and dogs off lead.

I go to the second every time. If someone wants to take their children into it fine - there's no cycling or ball games (I've seen both) but my dog is staying off lead.

Because shes a) small cute and friendly and b) in control she will sometimes run over to say hello and if the people object (most encourage it) I'll call her back. I've never seen a big dog in that park knock anyone over. There's retrievers, pointers, cockapoos, daschunds, labs and various Other small dogs. A few well behaved staffies sometimes.

No one has said that big dogs should be allowed out of control or to know children over. But I'm not walking my dog on a lead all the time just to make a few nutters happy.

When the rest of the world has their children under control and cycles only where they should then I will. Until then Mrsgoggin I'm afraid you to sound unhinged. Clearly life is hard for you at the moment - it sounds like you don't live in a nice area.

Maybe that's something you can change?

I think that, as most of the dog owners are responding in a calm, rational manner, she is going on the attack and personally insulting people to provoke them. She seems to think that repeatedly saying the dog owners here are supportive of dogs causing a nuisance/danger makes it true. It doesn't.
You're right.

It must be really annoying to have a range of dog owners saying that irresponsible owners are irresponsible whilst maintaining their right to exercise their dogs appropriately and legally.

It's very simple:
Dogs should not be out of control
Off lead does not equal out of control
There's space in society for everyone to do their thing

Sadly arseholes are everywhere. Inconsiderate drivers,cyclists, parents and dog owners.
The problem is the attitude “because I can”. It’s so selfish.
Zero consideration towards the others because they are “entitled to”

I also have problems with inconsiderate dog owners.
Both of my kids are scared of dogs-younger still has a scar on his nose when his face hit the pavement when one these “cute and oh so friendly” dogs jumped on him.

Keep telling these people off. I do. I’m met with filthy looks,shouting and swearing. I’m not afraid to give it back. I want peacefully walk with my kids without being harassed/harmed

I also know lots of people with very well behaved dogs, kids, careful drivers and cyclists. Thank goodness they are still majority where I live.

My dog is shy and won’t go up to people even if they call her over, she might walk past them, but she would never jump up them, even if they try to get her to. She has good recall and is a collie x so needs a lot of exercise, we walk her off lead in parks and woodlands where it’s allowed. If people are scared by my dog merely walking past them that’s not my issue tbh, they chose to come to an area knowing dogs are walked off leads, my dog is doing no harm what so ever just walking past people. If someone has a phobia of dogs, they should go somewhere they can avoid them or where they have to be on leads. Being off lead doesn’t mean out of control and I can’t exercise my dog as well when she’s on a lead.

Keep telling these people off. I do. I’m met with filthy looks,shouting and swearing. I’m not afraid to give it back. I want peacefully walk with my kids without being harassed/harmed

Contacting the council, reporting unsociable behaviour and asking them to send out park wardens is also a good idea if the behaviour is something you're encountering frequently. I've seen our warden having words with cyclists going too fast in the park.

Saying that somebody with a phobia should go somewhere they can avoid dogs is not a n easy thing to do.
I know where I live every park and woodland seem to be overrun with dog owners thinking they own the place. There are no designated ‘dog’ areas so the parks are full of dogs poo, and dogs running up to people with the owners making no attempt to stop them.

A person has just as much right to use the wood and park safely and peacefully as a dog owner.

Some people have allergies not just a fear of dogs so having a dog ‘just’ walking past them may be doing a lot of harm.

Some people have allergies not just a fear of dogs so having a dog ‘just’ walking past them may be doing a lot of harm.

I have a friend who is very allergic to dogs and cats, but she was able to cope with having 2 German Shepherds that didn't come into the house. It was a very secluded area, so guard dogs were a good idea. She was okay with them being outside.

My DH is allergic to dogs (not cats thankfully ) and he doesn't have difficulties when out of doors.

I don't think anyone is badly affected by a dog simply walking past them.

A person has just as much right to use the wood and park safely and peacefully as a dog owner.

Of course they do. Nobody is saying they don't. However, if the mere sight of an off lead dog who is minding its own business terrifies you, it's not up to dog owners to avoid the area. It is up to them to ensure the dog is well behaved and doesn't cause a nuisance. However, for your own peace of mind, it might make sense to use parks etc where dogs must be on leads, rather than ones where they are allowed off lead. That's all people are suggesting.

Some people have allergies not just a fear of dogs so having a dog ‘just’ walking past them may be doing a lot of harm.

To be honest, that's really not the dog owners' problem. If I have a peanut allergy, I can't expect the entire world to stop eating peanuts. This is no different.

A person has just as much right to use the wood and park safely and peacefully as a dog owner.
Of course they do. Nobody is saying they don't. However, if the mere sight of an off lead dog who is minding its own business terrifies you, it's not up to dog owners to avoid the area. It is up to them to ensure the dog is well behaved and doesn't cause a nuisance. However, for your own peace of mind, it might make sense to use parks etc where dogs must be on leads, rather than ones where they are allowed off lead.
That's all people are suggesting

Exactly ^^

I spent years pre dog not walking around parks and woodlands. There's a million and one places dogs aren't allowed... why not just go there instead? Dog owners have far fewer options than people with children.

I absolutely detest seeing the pub full of children for example. Nothing I can do about it because they are allowed everywhere. Then parents expect not much drinking, no adult conversations and take up a whole table doing colouring in buying one glass of wine and three soft drinks.

Dog allergies + deliberately going places people walk their dogs = unnecessary stress. Just go elsewhere.

I think what a few posters here STILL arent getting is that not a single dog owner approves of or has jumping, unsafe dogs. We hate them as much as you do. Unsafe to children = unsafe to dogs usually. Our sweet well behaved dogs.

Some people delight in keeping large &/or vicious dogs and/or refuse to train them. They don't pick up after them and they don't give a shit about anyone. Or they are just very thick and don't have the capacity to safely own a dog. They all think their dog is lovely (oh he's harmless really!) when they are just not.

Here's the secret. We hate them as much as you do, maybe more. it's why I won't jump on the 'adopt a rescue' bandwagon. They give dog owners a bad name and if I could remove their dogs (and euthanise the dangerous ones) I would. I love dogs and it's heart breaking that so many are destroyed by anti social criminals. There aren't enough people to tale in the dangerous ones to re train them sadly.

There are parts of London I would never walk a dog. I had to get out at a train station (overground not working) and in 5 minutes saw two very dangerous dogs on the streets. No one here is ok with this.

In rural areas the dogs are more likely to be less deliberately trained and in both city and country it's a case of avoiding the bad dogs. For EVERYONE.