To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

@LolaSmiles this is exactly how it should be. We encounter lots of off lead dogs who are amazing and cause no problem to my dog shy kids. And that because they have responsible owners who have trained their dogs carefully (and don't shout at people who don't like dogs)

Thank you for being one of those dog people 😘

@nevergoingoutagain
I agree with this!

nevergoingoutagain
Thank you. Thankfully in my area most off lead dogs are like that. Most responsible dog owners have an issue with irresponsible dog owners. Unfortunately there's some people who have their own hangups and fears that they refuse to consider that maybe their perceptions as rent always accurate, hence the number of people who talk about off lead equalling out of control, vicious dogs, a running dog must be feral etc.

I really dislike extendable leads in many situations as I think a lot of owners view them as a substitute for decent training. Not every dog will be trained well enough to be off lead and that's fine, but I think extendable leads should only be used in big open spaces, not on footpaths or shared footpaths/cycle paths. If anything I'd say an extendable lead on a shared path is a much bigger hazard than a trained off lead dog because the likelihood is the dog on the extendable lead on a shared path is likely to have almost zero training.

@AhBallix - There are many situations where a person is not technically doing anything illegal by behaving in a particular way. It's more about social responsibility,

I agree with you 100%. That's why I keep saying that all users of public areas should treat other users with respect and consideration. For some reason, that is insensing some posters who don't seem to think parents should ensure their children don't cause a potential danger (e.g. Out of control on a bike) or annoyance (e.g. Running around a coffee shop) or that joggers, cyclists, smokers etc should be considerate.

I suppose the problem is mainly that there are so many people who don't train their dogs adequately (my SIL among them, with her mad, marauding hounds!) that all dog owners get tarred with the one brush.

Yes, there are some appalling owners who make no effort to train. These are usually owners who choose the dog based on looks rather than whether it fits in with their abilities and lifestyle.

I suspect though that this varies by area. In the park I go to, most users (dog owners, parents, cyclists, joggers etc) treat fellow users with consideration. The biggest issue with dogs is children approaching them without permission from the owner, but lots ask first. Maybe parents are a bit complacent as most dog owners are responsible?

I understand fear is often irrational and that makes it difficult for someone to assess a situation and determine whether a threat actually exists. I do sympathise and I generally keep an eye out for body language. If someone approaching looks fearful or nervous (e.g. a child grabbing a parent's hand or moving behind the parent), I will immediately put the dogs back on the lead, if they are off lead, and have them walk to heel.

I really dislike extendable leads in many situations as I think a lot of owners view them as a substitute for decent training.

They're also extremely dangerous. We met someone a while back who we vaguely know on a walk on a local common area. Dogs are allowed off lead so ours were off lead. Hers was on an extendable lead as he has no recall. So far, so responsible. However, rather than shortening the lead when we stopped to speak, she left it fully extended. The dog got over excited and started running in circles to try and get my 2 to play (they won't unless given permission). He ended up tangling the lead around dh's legs and causing a massive cut on his leg. Two months later, and he still has a really obvious mark on his leg.

I detest extendable leads. As poster above says, they can cause injury by tripping people up and cutting them.

My dog was practically perfect and never approached people, but still I encountered arseholes who seemed quite mad. One woman shouted at me that all dogs should be on leads all the time. My dog was nowhere near her yet she was screaming and flapping her arms about. She scared me and the dcs (and the dog!). Another twerp came up to me in the park whilst I was training dog - there was no one else around - and stood right by me and said it was his right to stand anywhere and not have a dog go near him. So I moved away and he followed me and said he could stand next to me all over the park if he wanted to. I would have been afraid had the bloke not been about 80 with a stick. I just put dog on the lead and went home.

@IrmaFayLear - what an asshole. I bet he wouldn't have done that if you were a man (says she, making assumptions about your sex).

OchonAgusOchonO your poor dog.

Yet the 'dogs must always be on a lead' people on this thread would say that dog was under control as they were on a lead. Yours, on the other hand, was clearly a vicious wolf ready to pounce because it was off lead. I'm sure some would find a way to argue that the other dog saw your dog off lead and your dog caused the situation.

It's why common sense is needed instead of fear-mongering and irrational outrage.

It's impossible to train a dog to be good off lead if you don't train them off lead
and if you don't have access to suitable areas for said training do not get a dog, only get one if you can do so without being a nuisance to other people.
people kid themselves that everyone loves their dog because they can't face up to the reality that they are being selfish nuisances by having this animal as a pet.

a bit like face masks just do the right thing and keep it under control don't try to argue that your dog is special, it's only special to you, everyone else wants it kept away from them

My dog was practically perfect
Only in your eyes
it's a dog
dogs belong on leads, end of

everyone else wants it kept away from them

Tell that to all the people who insist on petting mine. And stop talking bollocks while you’re about it.

people kid themselves that everyone loves their dog because they can't face up to the reality that they are being selfish nuisances by having this animal as a pet

A bit of of tolerance and respect all around is needed.

Owners should have their dogs properly trained and ‘under control’ yes.

If something unexpected does happen, eg a normally obedient dog runs up to someone the owner should apologise profusely and prevent it happening again by more training or a leash or whatever in future.

There is no need for all the hysterics.
No need for people to be getting aggressive at people who don’t want to interact with their dogs, no need for people to scream and shout at the mere sight of a dog or accuse us of being ‘selfish nuisances’ for the terrible crime of living with a dog..

@LolaSmiles - your poor dog.

It was poor dh that got cut, not the dog

The dogs were just a bit bemused by the whole thing. But yes, you're right. They are obviously savage beasts using some form of mind control to get poor innocent dogs on leads to misbehave.

dogs belong on leads, end of
They really don’t.
Leads hamper normal communication increasing the likelihood of fights.
They make some dogs anxious which is why you can get dogs that growl and bark on lead but are totally fine loose.
The pressure makes dogs want to instinctively pull which can cause back pain and oesophageal damage.

I will put my dog on a lead if near cars or if it’s really busy so she risks running into someone.
Otherwise she is loose.

She will return if I call her, she has no interest in strangers and therefore won’t approach them and roads aside, there’s no law stipulating she must be leashed.

If your fear/dislike of dogs is so extreme that you can’t handle the mere sight of a dog running loose then I question why you would enter areas where dogs are likely to be loose tbh

@crosseyedMary - Only in your eyes it's a dog dogs belong on leads, end of

Your opinion is not fact.

As Daniel Moynihan said: everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts

They make some dogs anxious
I don't care about the dog's personality problems, if you want to live in a society run for the benefit of dogs then go and find one, I don't want to have to encounter creatures running freely around in an urban environment
if the animal isn't happy being constrained then it isn't suitable to be kept as a pet
it's your hobby don't try and make the rest of society revolve around the toys that you choose to have in your life

@crosseyedMary - people kid themselves that everyone loves their dog because they can't face up to the reality that they are being selfish nuisances by having this animal as a pet.

Funnily enough, some parents seem to have a similar attitude with their children who they allow run round in restaurants, trains etc

This is getting ridiculous. A lot of people have dogs as pets, just get used to it. It isn't going to stop if you shout loudly enough that they're being selfish owning a dog. There's no sense in developing an ulcer because you don't like the fact that there are, shock horror, people who happen to like dogs.

Some people think parents are selfish for over populating the world (my 2 DDs are adopted so I'm not guilty of that myself), and hate other people's children invading their space.

I'm not a dog owner myself; I don't want the commitment, and I'm a cat person anyway. I do like other people's dogs; I don't particularly like them jumping up at me or sniffing at me because I smell of cats, but it's not worth getting stressed about as life is too short.

I'm just bemused by all the angst about this.

Well done @crosseyedMary, you get the prize for being the goadiest poster on MN in a very long time. And, believe me, the bar is very high.

if the animal isn't happy being constrained then it isn't suitable to be kept as a pet

Tell that to all the cat owners!

Seriously, you are sounding seriously deranged at this stage.

I don't care about the dog's personality problems, if you want to live in a society run for the benefit of dogs then go and find one
Like I said, bit of tolerance all round.
Dogs shouldn’t be barking at people, jumping at people etc I agree.
But it goes both ways.
The (well trained, under control) loose dog isn’t bothering you.
Get over yourself.
I don't want to have to encounter creatures running freely around in an urban environment
Well unfortunately for you they are a very popular pet so you are going to have to get used it!
if the animal isn't happy being constrained then it isn't suitable to be kept as a pet
it's your hobby don't try and make the rest of society revolve around the toys that you choose to have in your life

Tolerance dear. Tolerance.

Well done @crosseyedMary, you get the prize for being the goadiest poster on MN in a very long time. And, believe me, the bar is very high.

^This. Actually she's sounding so deranged that she's being funny without even trying to.

@crosseyedMary - I don't want to have to encounter creatures running freely around in an urban environment

You do realise that dogs are far from being the only creatures running around in an urban environment? We have red squirrels in our park. Every loves watching them run around. There's cats too obviously. Lots of birds who do a bit of walking, as well as flying. And they do say you are never further than 6ft away from a rat in an urban environment. And of course, insects run around the place too.

@OchonAgusOchonO Quite, we have to share our environment with different species, and that will never stop being the case. Get used to it.