To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

This really annoys me too. My son is allergic to dogs and carries an EpiPen and he's scared of having to use the EpiPen (he's 7) so when someone let's their dog come running over and they are shouting it's ok he/she is really friendly I then have to try and keep the dog away from my son!

@Greenlamp45
I don't think the situation has got worse there's just more people using green space. dog walkers will have always being there walking their dogs twice a day but there are now more families/ people who also want to use them which is fine,, but I suppose might make things appear worse.
I can't wait till everything gets back to normal and everyone goes back to their normal routines.

Have your children never gotten away from you before or embarrassed you in a social situation? It’s the same for dog owners. Sometimes your kids just have a feral moment. There was no bite, no growling...nobody was harmed....

Too often people in still their fears & dislikes onto their kids. Teaching kids not to scream & carry on around animals is a really important life skill.

lol at the thinking that people never room their kids to the park before lockdown, or had family days out.

No never, viking. I'm not scared of dogs, so I haven't instilled fear into my children. One of my kids in particular is terrified of dogs for reasons and it's not my responsibility to justify them to you or any dog owner or prove to you what I'm doing to help my son, but it's your responsibility to keep your dog away from my child because I will defend him if needed against dog attacks.

Never took their kids to the park*

Was out yesterday and there were some people nearby who every time I walked past their dog it growled at me. Then it growled at my mate, then it growled at every person to walk past. The owners were like "oh isn't she so funny"

Every single time.

I personally don't really mind cos it's not such a scary dog but I see an incredible amount of people who are very blasé about their delinquent animals. Last week in the same place we were breaking up mini fights between 2 setters that may as well have been there on their own.

Some people are dicks

@notredamn No never, viking. I'm not scared of dogs, so I haven't instilled fear into my children. One of my kids in particular is terrified of dogs for reasons and it's not my responsibility to justify them to you or any dog owner or prove to you what I'm doing to help my son, but it's your responsibility to keep your dog away from my child because I will defend him if needed against dog attacks.
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THIS WELL SAID 👌 👏

@yomommasmomma

If owners can't control their dogs, they should keep them on the lead, another example of how selfish people are.

But the type of people who can't control their dogs are not likely to give a shit about other people and using a lead

viking 'feral' children have never killed anyone, nor do they really have the potential to cause any kind of serious harm in the way a dog can. My kids are v v scared of off lead dogs and they do scream and try to run. I have and am trying to teach them not to but that is their instinctive response (I'm not scared of dogs by the way so they didn't get it from me). Dogs should be on leads in all public spaces unless it is a specified dog park. Lots of pp have said 'yes but children also run up to dogs'. I'm sure that's true but it has nothing to do with the OPs point, nor does it change the fact that far too many dog owners are not responsible and careful.

I have two spaniels I keep on leads when out walking. I go on a country lane and there is a woman pushing a pram several times a week with some kind of collie cross off the lead. Each time it runs at me with it's hair standing on end, growling and baring it's teeth. This time I told her to put her damn dog on a lead and she just waved the lead at me. I told its happened once too often and it was going to bite. She just ignored me. I just don't get it. Just why.

But there wasn’t an attack...? Also making threats of assaulting someone’s dog because you fear an attack is putting yourself in a precarious situation. I can only imagine how parents would feel if dog owners started threatening assaulting children who come too close to their dog & May pull their tail! No tail has been pulled, so why threaten to assault someone ?

People with this attitude should be more careful, because someone who loves their dog as a family member may not react well to someone kicking their dog because the person perceives they “might” attack (ie the dog is not being aggressive). If someone hurt my dogs they would likely want to move house.

@notredam
I never said people didn't take their kids to parks before lockdown but green spaces are a lot busier. people are off work/school. me and my kids have being going everyday sometimes twice a day, usually they'd be at school.

We used to take our late JRT to a large woodland park near us. When off the lead she bothered nobody, was not interested in people just wanted to explore the environment looking for squirrels etc. Ignored cyclists and joggers too. We put her on the lead around other dogs because she was fearful of them. But it was astounding how many dog owners and parents ignored our warnings that she was snappy and didn’t stop their dogs who wanted to say hello and didn’t stop their toddler from going right up to her.

Yanbu at all. I had an altercation the other day minding my own business in the park. A dog leapt all over me and stuck it’s nose in my lunch. Ran off then charged back for another go. I was literally shoving it off me.

Then it’s owner eventually appeared and proceeded to climb all over me to retrieve it. I mentioned perhaps it should be on a lead. Also what about social distancing since she’d had to come really close to me to get hold of it? Just got a mouthful of attitude back from her 🤷🏼‍♀️

We were at a park once with dd who had just started to walk and as we left the fenced area where dogs aren't allowed a dog ran up to us and started barking. She fell and started shrieking, no owner in sight so we tried to shoo it away. The owner then turned up calling us names that it was only a puppy and weren't we mean for being horrible to his poor pup that he was still training.
I get the training bit but if you can't keep up with your pet and it's going crazy around other people maybe a busy park isn't the right place

Yeah I hate this too. I’m a dog owner. Mine are always on a lead. I’ve also experienced the opposite - parents letting their kids bound over trying to grab/hit/carry my frightened dogs then telling me - don’t worry he/she is gentle and expecting me to understand. My bitch is afraid of children because she was manhandled when she was a puppy by a child.

I'm a dog owner and I agree with you 100% about irresponsible dog owners.

I have to put a muzzle on my dog because they have no control over theirs. He gets anxious and scared if a huge dog runs up to his face and doesn't give him any space. I'm afraid he will bite out of fear.

However even if I'm very annoyed and angry with the other owner, I still try to turn it into a positive experience for my dog by staying calm, gently separating him from the other dog, giving him treats when he isn't scared and drawing the attention of the other dog to me etc.

I think you might be encouraging your kids being terrified with your reactions to dogs. Even if you say you're being calm, if you really feel so angry or anxious inside, they will feel and mirror that. I for one definitely dont think people who are afraid of dogs are "stupid" or "silly" like another poster mentioned, but the reality is that dogs are everywhere and their life will be very difficult if they grow up terrified.

I grew up with German Shephers and adore dogs but when DS was about 4 he was pushed over by a friendly but totally out of control lab that then stood over him licking his face.
He was absolutely terrified after that, wetting the bed, nightmares and would not go out to places he thought dogs might be.
We eventually rescued a small dog to help him conquer his fears but it was a traumatic time for him.
I'm a dog owner, I let our dog off lead and I call him back and put him on a lead if I see others approaching. In fact he knows the score so well now that he comes back without being called if he even sees another human or dog.
There are some total tools out there who should not be allowed to own animals if they lack the intelligence to train them.

We have woods at the back of our house for miles so often our dogs are off lead. If a dog walker approaches with a dog on a lead, ours go back on. Their recall is impeccable and they won't approach other dogs until they're told they can.

It's basic manners. If you don't have time and energy to train your dog properly, don't get a dog.

Just shout at the dog to go away and shout at the owner to recall their bloody dog.

I can't stand people who say "oh she/he's friendly, only saying hi"

Arrrrghghg!!!

@JammyHands

I’ve got a 10cm scar on my arm from a dog that had ‘never bitten anyone before’.

I see the ‘but what about cats?’ brigade are out in force. Cats do not routinely bound up to complete strangers and jump at them. They don’t present a danger to humans.

I'm firmly in the "dogs should be under control at all times" camp but this made me chuckle. About two weeks ago I was talking to a dog/cat behaviourist who conducts (kind, ethical) behaviour research into both animals. She was saying how she is always more wary of cats than dogs because all the injuries she's had that have required medical attention have been from cats. Something to do with the greater bacterial load in their saliva.

Just adding colour to the discusion...

I’ve got a big, scary looking dog (big ears, big mouth, head is just above toddler height). I always put him on the leash when around children. He is honestly the most placid dog ever but he must look sooo scary to small children (and adults), also what if a child grabbed him and he reacted. I would never forgive myself!

Someone with limited eyesight, especially a child, can be frightened by a dog suddenly coming to them.

OPs sentiment I agree with. Someone once told me there are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners. They had a valid point of view.

Also I keep him on a short lead when around people, that’s my other bugbear, getting rope burns from dog leads when the owner is not in control of long leads.

I was out running in our local woods. A dog shot across the trail right in front of me, I swerved to avoid it, tripped over a root and gashed my knee. The owner arrived as I was picking dirt out of my wound (which needed stitches), running tights ripped, blood everywhere, dog yapping at me. "He's very FRIENDLY" she trilled. Didn't even ask if I was alright

The same woods is full of paid dog walkers, some with six dogs all off the lead - no way they can be in control of them all. So I don't run there anymore.