To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

[quote excuseforfights]@LolaSmiles why call the dog stupid? Nasty.[/quote]
She didn’t. She was quoting someone else.

Oops sorry@Lola! That was to @fafffaffmorefaff

People are stupid and selfish. Covid has proved this. The bloody anthropomorphism of dogs is a whole other thing. They treat dogs better than people now! I have a giant breed dog that looks kind of like a fluffy wolf. She was attacked by two American pitbull/mastiff types and suffers from anxiety. She is terrified of dogs. (Except for golden retrievers and cavalier King Charles spaniels - who knows what goes on in her fluffy head?) Her size - 50kg and her wolfy appearance are no deterrent to idiots with little kids and “Don’t worry, he’s friendly” dogs - and neither are her muzzle-like halter or the giant yellow “BACK OFF!!! I WILL BITE YOU!!!” (She never has and she probably wouldn’t, but she’s scared and I’m simply not prepared to take the risk!) blanket and lead that she ALWAYS wears. In fact, what astounds me are the twats that seem to think that my dog would be the perfect candidate to cure their kid of dog-induced anxiety, and bring the poor quivering child over and encourage it to pat my dog despite all the warnings not to! (BTW, all the dangerous dog signage in the world doesn’t stop delivery guys either - luckily I have her inside all the time.) She is a giant softie with my family, but I would NEVER trust her around little kids or dogs.

Urgh I totally agree, OP. We go for walks every day and have done since I had my first child a couple of years ago. I’ve encountered so many more problematic dogs in recent months. Always charging in to the middle of picnics where I have had my newborn and toddler sat peacefully eating lunch. I don’t know what they are carrying on their paws in to our food, especially during the uncertainty of covid etc! One actually ran over my baby before I could bloody catch it I was livid but the owner was nowhere to be seen (we were in a park by a stretch of beach so I couldn’t see all around.) Then I saw it bound back to a family way across the park so I started glaring at them hands on hips, waiting for them to notice how annoyed I was...then slowly realised the dog didn’t belong to them either! It finally went back to its owners who were sat even further away. They would have no idea if it had mauled my baby or toddler.

At the same location a couple were sat up in the field watching the beach, and watching their absolutely mental dog tear up and down the beach path where pedestrians were carefully trying to social distance (it was me, the pram, toddler walking and mainly older couples just having a stroll) from the water and back up to them, they were just laughing as it hared past everyone, they laughed even more when for the third time my toddler saw it coming back and desperately tried to run and sit on the back of the pram after it almost knocked her over the last time. If it had hit her at that speed it would have probably given her a lifelong fear of bloody dogs! And she spends a lot of time with dogs of all size that we know (grandparents’ dogs etc.)

Another person with a boisterous spaniel shoving its nose in the pram said “oh he’s saying hello!” I just glared and then she got very huffy and made a point of getting very close to retrieve him when I clearly was very uncomfortable and trying to shield her from getting close to my children. The problem with dogs off lead is not only are they a bloody nuisance and sometimes a danger, you cannot socially distance from an often indignant owner stomping over to drag them off you.

I’ve grown up with dogs, my parents have tonnes but I have made a choice not to, mainly because my folks have got the land to not need to walk them off lead publicly but I have not got that same space, so why do some dog owners think the whole world should revolve around the needs of their pet? If you chose to get a dog in the knowledge that you hadn’t the space to appropriately exercise them then that is your problem, not other people’s. I know so many people who have got ‘lockdown puppies’ it really really worries and saddens me because what happens when these people go back to work and reality...those animals will be either forgotten, distressed, lonely or put in a shelter. The root problem is selfishness. I am not saying all dog owners are selfish btw. Many are very responsible and have lovely dogs. But it’s this expectancy some owners have that everyone should love their dog and tolerate it in the same way they do that I find infuriating. Especially when they turn up at my house to visit with the dog in tow (who does that!) without asking if they can bring it.

Not forgetting wankers with extendable leads allowing there dog to wonder well away from them. Leaving lead trailing everywhere and no control over dos as they have to wind lead in to get control.

@LolaSmiles the local park I am talking about is some 350 acres of open land/woodland/trails. It’s pretty awesome for a city location. There are areas that are quite obviously excellent for having a dog off a lead and I don’t think I’ve ever ventured into them (except maybe with someone else’s dog). The incidents I am annoyed about have all happened on the main paths, which are so so busy since lockdown (forget social distancing) and the general habit is to release the dog from the lead when entering the park. Conversely, the only place in this 350 acres where dogs are not allowed is the children’s play park (but they are frequently tied to the railings so they can bark at children playing, or just cause a nuisance).

I’ve focused on child interactions with dogs but some of the worst I’ve had have been when I’ve been out running on my own. Plenty of times I’ve had to stop dead because I’m about to fall over a dog. There are plenty of dog owners who seem to think their dog has priority and are unapologetic for not paying attention to where the dog is and who else is around. The analogy would be my own children, who are also not on leads but are asked to hold my hand in busy places, and who have good recall, and will stop when I ask them to wait.

In addition, the entire place seems to be covered in dog poo since lockdown. The path itself is clear but as soon as you venture onto the (wide, grassy) verge you run the risk of treading in something. It’s just not good enough.

We all need to share the space and that means everyone trying to limit their impact on other people.

@rwalker

Not forgetting wankers with extendable leads allowing there dog to wonder well away from them. Leaving lead trailing everywhere and no control over dos as they have to wind lead in to get control.

This is particularly enjoyable when on a shared cycle path, with the lead across the path. Obviously it is our fault for cycling there.

It really doesn't work both ways, you need to keep dogs under control in public places by law. Imagine John in a high vis vest pelting straight for you. Dog owners would think on then.

We need an army of volunteers to patrol parks and do to dog owners what their dog has just done to a stranger. Another group will go around pooing on irresponsible dog owners' doorsteps, or poo in a bag and hang it on their fence.

As the owner of a very anxious dog reactive dog, I also hate the 'he's friendly' brigade! Mine is always on a lead, or very close to me if off lead, and would never approach a stranger or another dog. We always pick the quiet edges of open spaces to walk in. The number of times we've had another dog fly over from miles away 'to say hello' is redic...almost always spaniels or labs. I've torn a strip off a few owners but they are always of the view that it's fine because their dog is only trying to be friendly. Yeah, well mine would prefer not to be friends and just enjoy her quiet walk thanks.

Flamingolingo
OP I agreed with you that they shouldn't have ran up to you and your family.

My issue is the people thinking that because they don't like off lead dogs that nobody should have their dogs off lead when it's perfectly legal.

I get annoyed with dogs off lead who are allowed to run off and hate the 'they're friendly' calls, but don't mind if someone is doing some training because at some point the training has to progress to somewhywith distractions. The pet hate I have as someone with medium to larger dogs is that I see smaller dogs allowed to pull, yap, lunge at people, be off lead with terrible recall, approach me and jump to try and remove treats from my pocket and I'm expected to accept it because they're small. If my dogs did a fraction of that those little ratty dogs did then people would rightly be pissed off.

The poo issue annoys me. I noticed that in our local walking places during lockdown. The conclusion I've drawn is that with lockdown a lot of people who'd normally outsource their dog walking responsibility to a walker or daycare have had to do it themselves. Or there's been an increase in lockdown puppies/dogs, which worries me because they'll probably be rehomed when the novelty wears off. We also noticed a disgusting increase in poo baubles on one walk where people seem to think it's acceptable to bag their dog's poo and hang it to 'cone back later for'.

All that is unreasonable, but it still doesn't mean that anyone has the right to tell me not to exercise my dogs off lead in an appropriate space.

If owners can't control their dogs, they should keep them on the lead, another example of how selfish people are.

I have always had big dogs, currently a Rottweiler and an akita X malinois who neither would hurt a fly BUT whenever I see another dog I put them both on their leads and they both know to leave people alone (We social distanced before it was cool ). My middle daughter is scared of dogs and the amount of owners that see it acceptable to allow their dogs to run up to us either because they see we've got a so our kids must be fine with them or because my dogs are controlled on their leads nothing bad will happen is ridiculous.

I previously had a dogue de Bordeaux (Turner & Hooch dog) who was attacked by 2 small breed dogs on her 1st walk in the park as a puppy, it took months of reassurance and training for her to not be petrified of other dogs and then she was attacked again and from then on she used aggression as a form of defence and I would still get idiots shouting oh my dogs fine and they came bounding towards my 55kg dog that would automatically assume that it's coming to attack her (at that point I had trained her to lay down and I would protect her but it didn't stop her growling). It got to the point where I would have to take her miles away just to go for a daily walk where she wouldn't be on edge even though we live 5 minutes away from a park, farms fields and a golf course (both have a public footpath through them)

I too agree, but like your small kids, puppies are learning and at that, they will go to people excited.

They need to learn to be off the lead and learn that they can't go to everyone but until the message sinks in, they will continue to do so.

Its no different to kids being annoying especially to those who don't have kids. Its not their fault, the problem is their parents not teaching them what's not acceptable.

I think the dog poo is correlative with a subset of dog owners having no clue where there dog actually is - if you can’t see it how do you know it’s not done a poo somewhere inconvenient?

@LolaSmiles I don’t think my beef is with you - I expect to see dogs out and actually quite like dogs myself. I will always make the effort to say hello to a friendly and well behaved dog (with owners permission) because I think it’s important for my child(ren) to see me modelling a positive reaction to a dog. Every time we make progress though there is another dog thug round the corner. My favourite dog owners are the ones who see my child starting to melt down and either grab the dog/put it on a lead (often talking to the child, explaining what’s happening) or the ones who spot him and just take the other path for a second or two.

I think yesterday’s row was less about the dog and more that I had the audacity to say something. I sound posh, have a good resting bitch face, and am a young-ish woman. People don’t like to be told they are in the wrong by me. It’s always entirely different with DH who looks a lot more threatening

Agree - I regularly go out walking and come across dog walkers who let their dogs run up to me, bark at me, get into my personal space and jump at me.

I have no interest in your animal, friendly or not. Keep it away from me.

Totally agree with the small dog syndrome. I have a small 4 months old puppy and I don't assume it's ok to run to people and jump around. The problem is most think he is adorable, want to pet him and say they don't mind if he jumps, so it's not easy to train him.

He is now starting to recognise when people or other dogs are not keen, will go to them but move away if they are not responsive. I'm now teaching the no jumping.

@Velvian

YANBU I still remember the time when I was in our local park exercising and a dog chased after me and scared the shit out of me. When the owner finally called her back she got cross with for not saying 'thank you'.

Flamingolingo absolutely no beef with me either

My frustration comes when people go from 'dogs should be on lead if they aren't well trained and they shouldn't be approaching people' to 'but I don't like them / my child doesn't like them / they're all vicious wolves therefore nobody should walk dogs off lead'.

@dontdisturbmenow
Its no different to kids being annoying especially to those who don't have kids. Its not their fault, the problem is their parents not teaching them what's not acceptable.

You can say that or "it works both ways" as much as you like, but it doesn't make it true. There is no legislation about keeping toddlers under control, because they're smaller than everyone else, not very fast and generally, would have to work pretty hard to harm someone.

"It works both ways" is just an excuse to not bother changing your behaviour.

@LolaSkoda

Yep. Really pisses me off.

Neighbours dog used to jump up at me in the morning as I was getting in my car. Many times I had to go back in and get changed because I had slobber and mud on me.

I asked her to stop the dog. She said “oh she’s just being friendly”. Great. But I don’t want to be friends with a muddy dog?

I had this with neighbours who would let their Westie roam freely outside (to shit unattended too). It was a farm and they were townie tenants and that bloody dog was supposed to be kept on a lead instead of chasing stock and harassing all the other tenants. Every day it would jump up at me when going to my car and every day I'd be told that he was just being friendly. I completely and utterly lost it one day when on my way to my 24yo friends funeral I ended up covered in mud. I told the owners that I was done telling them to keep that dog in and the next time it approached me off a lead I will kick the fucking thing into the fucking field. They must have believed me because it was kept confined after that.

I love dogs but I don't own one because I don't want the crap that comes with them. Muck, hairs, slobber and poop picking up. Why should I have to deal with all that when it's someone else who owns the damn thing?!

Totally agree! I have a 18month old Rottweiler and he really is "the friendliest dog ever" 🤪. But for the exact reason you said we keep him on the lead. I always say just cos we love him doesn't mean other people are going to love a big giant dog running towards them for a scratch ! Plenty people stop and ask to stroke him so it's win win. Totally agree with you.

For those who would agree that the dog situation has definitely got worse since lockdown, with so many more idiot owners about, here’s a useful tip.

It’s on the end of my walking pole, and a great comfort on my ramblings.

Thank you for this, OP, I totally agree and utterly hate this. I don't have small children...I'm worried by dogs myself, I hate it when they jump up.

Had just such an example the other day. Walking in a quiet country lane, no-one about except a regular dog walker on the horizon. When he got level (far side of the road) he said hello and then let his dog - which WAS on a lead - dash over and leap up at me! The lead was one of those stretchy things that expands as the dog runs off.

Didn't rein in the dog at all, which jumped up and down, and then caught hold of my T-shirt in its teeth, pulling and pulling it. When I didn't fuss the dog or anything, the owner decided to pull the dog back, at which point it went berserk…..

Why, oh why, do dog owners do this? Why would they think anyone would like this? I just don't think it's acceptable, and if it happens to small children it must be terrifying.

Wtf, Milly, he set his dog on you! I'd have gone bloody mad.