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Original poster

To drink alcohol whilst awaiting termination

100 replies

Fifilikes · 18/07/2020 16:58

Found out I was pregnant yesterday which came as a complete shock as I’ve got a coil fitted. DH and I categorically do not want any children so sadly we will be terminating the pregnancy (and changing to a more reliable form of birth control!). After finding out the news I immediately contacted my local clinic and am booked in on Monday to start the process. It’s very early so thankfully I haven’t yet noticed any symptoms of pregnancy except for the one missed period. DH and I are out celebrating a friend’s birthday this evening and we’d booked a hotel nearby so that we could both have a drink. I’ve never been in this situation before so I’m not really sure how I should be thinking or feeling. Would it be unreasonable of me to drink whilst pregnant, as I have no intention of proceeding with the pregnancy?

OP posts:
caramelbun · 18/07/2020 19:40

Don’t worry about it just take it easy.

KittyFantastico · 18/07/2020 19:42

OP speak to DH about getting the snip to save you the unpleasantness of an abortion again in the future. It is the only method with 100% reliability.

No method of contraception, including a vasectomy, is 100% effective. The failure rates may vary from method to method but they all have one.

To get 100% reliably you would need a hysterectomy/bilateral orchiectomy.

IsAnybodyListening · 18/07/2020 19:44

MaxNormal It isn't about getting shirty with the OP as you said. An accident, is stepping out in front of a car and getting run over, or tripping down the stairs.

There are no accidental pregnancies in this specific scenario, as the married couple decided that they do not want children. Surely the precautions are paramount to make sure they do not ever conceive? The alternative is this exact post, and I stand by it. Completely preventable.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/07/2020 19:44

Have a drink if you want one OP.

This is why we have abortions, so that women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy can end it, OP was hardly having unprotected sex and being irresponsible so I have no idea why people are being shitty with her.

MaxNormal · 18/07/2020 19:46

IsAnybodyListening they were taking precautions. The only 100% foolproof contraception method is abstinence, that is why we fortunately have legal terminations available.

timetest · 18/07/2020 19:47

I got pregnant whilst using the coil too. It was over 30 years ago and I had hoped they might have evolved to be fool proof these days. Apparently not.
OP, go ahead and have a drink.

MarioPuzo · 18/07/2020 19:48

@IsAnybodyListening

Miniminiminimini You bore off!!! For a couple that decided they didn't want children. They perhaps should have covered every precaution? Termination isn't a contraception. This couple have accidentally created a life they have decided they don't want, but the OP is about if it is safe to drink alcohol or not. Like the termination is a inconvenience. Honestly. This thread should have a trigger warning. Completely insensitive.
The thread is literally called To drink alcohol whilst awaiting termination , how much more of a trigger warning do you want?

They haven't created a life, the foetus is probably the size of a chia seed.

OP As other posters have said, it might be best to just have a couple of drinks in case the alcohol makes you strangely emotional or interacts with the drugs you take on Monday.

strawberrypip · 18/07/2020 19:50

I imagine people are being shitty because it's an emotive subject for some. there are many people on here who are ttc but struggling/have recently had a miscarriage/are trying to come to terms with the fact they cant have children. the thread title does spell it out but I do think it's a bit insensitive. I dont fit in any of the categories above thankfully but I can see why some may find this upsetting and be responding in the way they have. not saying they should btw, as the OP is entitled to start a thread on this, just saying it's fair to say this would seem insulting and insensitive to a fair few on this site.

you then have the other camp who straight up disagree with terminations but this isn't the time or place for that debate and hopefully that isnt what this thread becomes about

Original poster
Fifilikes · 18/07/2020 19:50

Thank you so much everyone, especially to those who have been kind.

OP posts:
Elastins · 18/07/2020 19:51

@IsAnybodyListening

Um. Why doesn't your DP get the snip, instead of impregnating you, when you both don't want children. This was completely preventable. Yeah, enjoy your wine OP. FFS.
The only way to completely prevent pregnancy is to not have sex. No form of contraception is completely, 100% infallible, not even vasectomy or female sterilisation.

Do your research and get off your high horse.

Fromthebirdsnest · 18/07/2020 19:52

im very pro choice and you should ignore any comments of any derogatory kind its your body and nothing to do with anyone else im sorry your having to do this, its shit your coil failed what a horrible situation , yes have a drink , make sure there is someone with you after you termination, good luck xxx

KittyFantastico · 18/07/2020 19:53

There are no accidental pregnancies in this specific scenario, as the married couple decided that they do not want children. Surely the precautions are paramount to make sure they do not ever conceive? The alternative is this exact post, and I stand by it. Completely preventable.

It is difficult enough getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation when you have children and are over 30. If you have no children or are under 30 then you have slim to no chance of being referred.

Most people are pragmatic enough to know that things change. They may change theirs minds, some people do. They may split up or one of them may pass away and then find they want children with their new partner. None of that may happen but they just might not want surgery. Surgery has risks which can be a same sight more inconvenient than a coil fail ure.

LARC, such as the coil, are usually very safe and very rel iable. This situation is accidental.

If all you have to contribute is judgement why don't you go start your own thread about the evils of abortion...?

billy1966 · 18/07/2020 19:54

Absolutely not unreasonable.

Mind yourself OP.

Flowers
Splodgetastic · 18/07/2020 19:55

Definitely fine, but as PPs say be careful if you get emotional after a drink and don’t get completely off you face if the procedure is on Monday.

IsAnybodyListening · 18/07/2020 19:57

MaxNormal Yes. Doesn't mean I agree with termination in every scenario. Surely everyone knows doubling/tripping up contraceptives is the best way for not only your sexual health, but a preventable measure if you don't want to be in the position to abort? Especially in a committed relationship. It seems a senseless abortion in comparison to those who need genuine access to the service.

KittyFantastico · 18/07/2020 19:59

Thankfully the abortion service in most of the UK doesn't rely on who is/isn't genuine or worthy.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/07/2020 20:03

Anybody who is pregnant and doesn’t want to be is in genuine need of the service. It might be senseless to YOU but for the OP it isn’t and thankfully the laws in this country give women the choice.

Notredamn · 18/07/2020 20:03

Senseless according to who? You, @IsAnybodyListening? It's not your call. Any woman faced with an unwanted pregnancy under any circumstances, can choose to abort if they want and it's fine.

KittyFantastico · 18/07/2020 20:04

thankfully the laws in this country give women the choice.

Amen to that.

leftovercoffeecake · 18/07/2020 20:04

OP ignore the poster who is trying to control other women’s bodies. I hope you’re okay Flowers

Gooseygoosey12345 · 18/07/2020 20:14

You'll always get the judgey bitches on these posts. Have a drink! Luckily we live in a country where we have the right to make a choice! I would just be cautious about the amount of alcohol as it can increase bleeding but other than that enjoy your night

IsAnybodyListening · 18/07/2020 20:17

Notredamn Your stance is yours. And mine is my own. In my teens and twenties I thought like you. Late 30's now and I don't have the same perspective in terms of certain reasoning for abortion. I will not apologise for that. I hope the OP is fine, i really do.

overweightcat · 18/07/2020 20:18

You can drink unless you're worried you might get a bit emotional about the situation when drunk then maybe be a bit careful - unless you are ok with it.

Be warned though I had 2 nights of heavy drinking (not in a row) as we had some big celebrations during v early pregnancy before I had any inkling I'm pregnant (dc1 wasn't a planned pregnancy) and I had the most horrific hangovers after, lasting the most of the next day and feeling very very sad for myself so if you're anything like me you might really feel it the day after.

Notredamn · 18/07/2020 20:31

Don't have one, then @IsAnybodyListening

CupoTeap · 18/07/2020 20:35

Be aware - I didn't know I was pg and had a night out and had a terrible hangover and vomiting. I think it was being of that made it so bad as I've never had one like it, or since.