Smacking - was it ok in the 90s?

[treebird3]

Inspired by the other smacking thread.

My father smacked me a lot in the 90s - on the hand, thighs, bum (sometimes bare).

I've always thought this was normal for the time but I was speaking to a colleague the same age who said she was never smacked.

Just to add, I remember when I was 6 years old my teacher, a horrible, abusive man (well renowned fact in my village) slapped me across the face, and I wasn't being naughty, I just didn't sit at my place fast enough.
I still remember that and I consider it abuse.

I brought up my eldest in the 90s. I'd say there were different, and both quite vocal, schools.

Several of the mums in the toddler group did smack, but then there were a few of us who were adamantly against it. Neither was a particularly revolutionary or controversial stance in the 90s: people knew there was a choice. So anyone who says "we didn't know any better" is likely being economical with the truth.

Common but becoming less acceptable, I think. Certainly my mum smacked, but was adamant in public that she never did and thought it was dreadful. I was a teenager in the early 90s so probably have more of an 80s child perspective on it, but everyone I know was hit by parents at some time or another and it was only 'bad' if it reached needing medical attention levels, otherwise it was a bit of a joke. Which is weird to think about really.

I was a 90s kid and smacking on the back of the legs was really common and normal. I think slapping the face or head was seen as going to far and you'd never smack someone else's child.

I and none of my peers who experienced similar were traumatised or resentful of our parents. Wouldn't do it now as its so socially unacceptable.

Normal and seen as ok as far as parents and in laws are concerned, 80 to late 90s - I was hit around age 17 last, held my down on the floor and spat in my face. The in laws in particular encourage it now. They’re fairly middle class and used implements, (belts and sticks) to hit my husband, but not his sister. They were more measured and cold about than my parents. His dad would hit because his mum told him to, he didn’t need to know why.

On the other hand my parents are now more loving towards us and the kids than the in laws. We’re not close to any of them understandably. I find it weird that people actually like their parents. I really hope our kids will like us and want us in their lives as adults.

No.

My two dc born late 80’s and early 90’s had the thinking chair for punishment.

DB and I were born early and mid 80s and we were both smacked. A lot of the time out of frustration and anger rather than calculated punishment I would say. But my DM was beaten black and blue by DGF in the 60s so to her what we got was nothing! It was definitely commonplace. The Mums in our street had agreed ‘smacking rights’ between themselves if we or any of the kids misbehaved in front of a Mum, even if they weren’t her kid.

DH’s parents ‘opted in’ to corporal punishment at his private school (late 80s/early 90s) so get got whacked by the nuns more than once!

*he got whacked. Sorry.

I went to a pretty rough school (state comp) and the teachers would regularly whip one of those wooden board erasers at someone messing about!

Well I was smacked and most of my friends were too as a last resort and never on bare skin, no pulling down of clothing etc but a quick slap across the backside absolutely...

I really don't see an issue...

The issue is parents teaching children that it’s perfectly acceptable to be violent and aggressive towards other people.

My mum was beaten black and blue by her abusive mother, that's why she says she never laid a finger on me or my brother. That makes sense to me.

I've never physically reprimanded my DC either. Never had the urge.

I'm 43.

The issue is parents teaching children that it's perfectly acceptable to be violent and aggressive towards other people.

Yes, especially those smaller and more vulnerable than themselves.

Someone annoys you, or doesn't do what you say, just give them a good whack.

Is that really an acceptable way to treat another human being?

Primary school however, wow that was another story and totally shocked me (mid -late 80s).

Knuckles were rapped with rulers. Chalk thrown at pupils. Children grabbed by their hair and pulled to the front of assembly for talking.

It was a Catholic school run by nuns, they still scare me a little. One went almost purple in the face with anger while berating these little kids. Hard to comprehend these days.

When we were 8 one of my teachers smacked a boy behind his head and his nose started bleeding. She started saying :"he has a delicate nose" when she saw us horrified. He had given to wrong answer to something she has asked.

80s child. I remember the debate about smacking and how it somehow always seemed to end in people saying it was fine. I remember a TV host making a joke about hitting children with heavy books instead. Smacked by parents, always in anger, but the world around them told them it was fine and anyone who didn't do it was definitely raising little fiends. Hated them for it, definitely damaged by it, totally confused growing up because it made me so angry and resentful and upset, but I was always told that I felt fine and it was all fine.

Parents never learned self control and it escalated to full on face slapping, kicking and punching in my teens, but they still always thought they were fantastic because they never used implements.

Common in the 90s, but not ok.

Can't believe some people actually think cancel culture is a result of moving away from smacking, but I've seen a few absolute doozies lately so I shouldn't be surprised. So, who is the snowflake...the person not brought up on being hit, or the person endlessly whinging and complaining because they no longer get praise and approval for hitting?

Being a child of the slap happy 70s ('Be grateful, people used to take a belt and whip children better than you'. Didn't stop the fucking yardstick coming out from time to time, did it?), not smacking was becoming a thing, thanks to teachers not doing it anymore, but you did tend to get a lot of 'well, you're bloody stupid/weird/one of those hippy types' responses.

I'm a solidly 90s kid and my mum smacked me.

Have to say she was an older mother, so her parenting was a lot more old fashioned than many

My children were born in the early 90s and I never smacked either of them, I don't think their friends were either. I chose not to smack because I had been raised with violence and was terrified of my mother, I didn't want my kids to be scared of me. I wanted to be the person they could turn to, no matter what, and I am. They both grew to be honest, kind people.

I was 10 in the 90’s and wasn’t smacked and I don’t remember if it would have been seen as ok

I got smacked in the 90s Andre didn’t do me any harm

Our eldest was born in the early 90s and we didn’t smack and neither did anybody I know AFAIK , but then I was a 60s baby and my parents didn’t smack either .

Not nice but it was pretty normal in the 80s and 90s in my experience. We were also still given the ruler at school through the 80s and some boys at the big school were caned. Sad times. Glad things have changed.

My DCs were all born in the 90s. I remember smacking DS1 once, when, to quote a PP, he was being a “right little shit”. I felt so bad that I didn’t do it again, nor any of the other 3 DSs I went on to have.

The UN Convention on The Rights of the Child became law in UK in 1992:

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.unicef.org.uk/what-we-do/un-convention-child-rights/amp/

The UN Convention on The Rights of the Child became law in UK in 1992:

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.unicef.org.uk/what-we-do/un-convention-child-rights/amp/