Going out with a toddler at the moment is more stressful than fun

[brababab]

Went to a local wildlife park today. Was so excited as my toddler loves it there.

There are lots of arrows pointing in the direction that we should walk in. I found this really stressful. My toddler will go back and forth and will stop to look at things (not necessarily the animals, but a flower or a bit of wood etc). Normally I would encourage him to do this and I love how inquisitive he is, however I don't want to hold people up so have to usher him along, which results in a tantrum because he REALLY wanted to look at the flower.

Sometimes he will walk too close to people, and today I was tutted at as my son made a quick dash towards the meerkat enclosure, and got too close to a couple who were stood there. When I walked away the woman made a comment about not being able to control my child and 'if you can't get them to socially distance then don't go out'

It had been an incredibly long and tedious trip and I ended up crying in the car. Pathetic. I just felt so overwhelmed. My son was asleep so didn't see me cry.

Going out with a rambunctious toddler to nice places at the moment is really stressful due to social distancing. He is desperate to play with other children but I have to pull him away which he finds upsetting and again, ends up tantrumming.

I am totally fine with dealing with tantrums when I have to say no, but when you're saying no dozens of times to things such as wanting to play with another kid, going to wrong direction, running too close to someone, etc, it's exhausting.

I don't blame people for getting upset. People are scared.

Does anyone else feel similar?

I even tried using reigns but he hates them and claws at them to get them off. It's not even the fact that I'm holding them and stopping him from going too far that bothers him, he just hates having them on, so I gave up with them.

I don’t take mine out any more. It’s impossible to social distance him or prevent him touching things and picking up sticks etc. He won’t wear a mask so I worry about him catching coronavirus. It saddens me because he just wants to play and enjoy his life. He has no friends or children to play with and it breaks my heart.

@Raimona this was our first time out to anywhere that wasn't a local park or walk. I don't think I'm going to try again. It was so, so stressful. He hasn't interacted with other children for months now I do feel your worry.

Absolutely. I honestly think preschool children are hugely affected by all of this and there are no guidelines as to what's expected of this age range (other than for childcare/nursery settings).
They are at a crucial stage of learning, socialising, becoming emotionally aware, inquisitive, forming relationships and it's all being bundled together with 'adult' rules.
They can't socialise because they can't distance
They can't see/hug grandparents as too high risk
You can't take them places without it being stressful for everyone as they can't reliably distance (age dependant)
Some of my friends won't socialise with me if I have my LO to look after as they have young babies/know LO isn't reliable at distancing
How exactly are they coming through this without some lasting affects???
It saddens me that we can go for meals, drinks etc now but our children can't learn and develop properly as the government can't/won't issue guidance.

I take mine out, but I’m very careful about where we go, so we really only go to the park. I’m not worried about him catching Covid from sticks as a PP said, but just other people’s reactions because of his inability to socially distance.

Our local zoo has opened with a one way system, and I know he couldn’t cope, so we’re not going.

I have a four year old DD, who manages a lot better with social distancing, so she does miss out on some things because of this.

@SlB09 absolutely. I agree wholeheartedly. I remember a thread right at the beginning of lockdown and people were saying 'toddlers won't remember' and 'toddlers are resilient' and I struggled to get my head round this. This is such a crucial part of their development.

I've given up on taking mine anywhere structured because it's impossible for them to understand. We've been sticking to the beach, forest walks etc.

We just moved house and trying to decorate is a pain. Husband and I are taking turns at going into shops while one stays in the car with the kids. It's just such an effort to try and keep our toddlers (we have two) from moving into other people's space or, you know, causally licking the floor!

@Nomorezoom lovely that you've got two. Must be great that they can socialise with each other! It is hard though. We've had lots of forest walks too.

How people get their toddlers to engage with online zoom classes is also beyond me

It's the same for me. 2 and 3.5 year old dc. There is nowhere I want to take them and I cant see that changing. We will go to friends or family homes who understand that toddlers dont observe social distance and are ok with that risk. Other than that, they are here in the house with me. I've realised though that a lot of the time I would take them here or there really only because going anywhere at all seemed better than being home all day. Well, I have learned how to be home all day. I may never go back to going here and there, even when the problems of social distancing dissipate, if indeed they ever do...

I have a 2 year old son. We've been going on daily walks and he's been learning to stay to one side when people pass and to keep a bit of a distance from others. We've been to the zoo, and a safari park, and an outdoor restaurant and the playground, and in all honesty staying to one side and keeping his distance has become second nature. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

@10storeylovesong my son is only 21 months and I honestly don't think it's possible at the moment to teach him to stay to one side. He just doesn't get it. I do try very hard though.

Hugs OP, and while yes, people are panicked, they shouldn't be making you feel like that about it. Was talking to my friend who lives in an estate and is out for walks with the kids every day. She was saying her kids are better than adults at social distancing but we don't go out much and even though we thought we'd nailed it, every time we met people out the other day everyone just fell apart, then we'd explain it to them again, then a person woudl come and they'd all panic, go the wrong way, go closer ... it was a mess

@stayathomer even I forget occasionally. I was walking down the street the other day and just nonchalantly walked past someone, wasn't two metres away, he did the same. I just forgot. I guess he did too.

I really wouldn’t be worried about a toddler running around, people tutting is ridiculous what are you supposed to do? Providing you are doing your best, let them get on with it. The risk of a two year old, unless he’s a giant infecting someone by going near them is unlikely.

I really feel for you, I even struggle with my four year old sometimes while out and about, I know at your son’s age he wouldn’t have managed at all. The fun has really been taken out of outings with small children. The risk outside is thought to be minimal so I think that woman was unfair - couldn’t she have moved away from your toddler quicker than he moves?

I'm sorry your day was ruined, the person who commented to you was completely out of order; if you voluntarily go to a wildlife park there WILL be little kids there and of course they won't socially distance.

There is absolutely NO requirement for toddlers to wear a mask so don't even begin to worry about that.

I've been taking my DS (18mths) to my local playground very regularly (daily up to 3 times a day) as he loves to walk there, and I've found inside the playground parents are very relaxed about their kids SD. We do our best (eg contact or licking things/each other is discouraged) but there's no judgement. I'm pretty lucky DS loves his backpack reins, and I use them when we are in the street. I would not try to use them inside a tourist attraction, where I want him to have more freedom.

We took DS to Hobbledown in SE England recently and he absolutely loved it. Really no one was social distancing properly. It was great fun. We also are lucky to have a country park nearby with an adventure playground, so we go there every week.

I do agree it is upsetting and possibly damaging to tell a young child repeatedly not to play with other children. Why not try going on Facebook local groups and ask where is a good place to go for some relatively relaxed playtime for your toddler? I've had older toddlers come right up to my son, and I have not said "no" or pulled my son away. I know that might be considered very risk but really, the chance of him catching covid currently is very low. I think you just need to find a space where you don't have this exhausting battle to control your son and he can see some other children freely.

A large garden might be easier? We’ve taken our 1 and 4 year old to garden type attractions and there has been enough space that the 1 year old can easily potter etc we had positive comments from strangers saying how nice it was to see the children playing and having fun.

The people tutting were being ridiculous. Zoos will be full of small children. If you can’t cope with an exuberant 1 year old then it is not the place to go out for the day. I’d prefer the Scottish rules where children aren’t expected to socially distance .

I do worry about the effect on little ones. We have largely avoided taking the baby to shops or out and about. It feels a little bit Victorian tbh. I’d be even less keen to take
Her out shopping once I’ve got to wear a mask. She at least has her sister for stimulation but her world feels very small.

I don't have a toddler but have a baby and am already worrying about the affect this is going to have on young children
Seeing Chris witty say today that social distancing is going to have to stay in place for a long.time, it made me realise that he's entire first year is likely going to pass by with us in some form of lockdown
I swear he thinks other people live in screens
He's getting to the age where he asks for a cuddle and keeps doing it to my.parents who can't pick him up (he's potentially vulnerable we are waiting for tests)
The whole thing is really upsetting
But hey don't worry because pubs are open and sporting events will be in autumn 🙄
I feel like absolutely no thought has been given to young children and how it's going to impact them
I feel for you OP

We are managing now that we can see friends and go to the playground, but I agree that it’s challenging anywhere where they are supposed to go in a single direction, and while some people are understanding others are full of fear or irritation. I have a baby in a sling too most of the time. The people who don’t like children in public places (even without coronavirus) are happy to display that right now.

Summer is all very well, but I don’t know what the winter is going to be like if toddlers aren’t welcome in the free or low cost indoor places such as libraries, museums, toddler groups and swimming pools. I have a baby and a 2yo and we are very happy to tog up and get out in all weathers (before the “toddlers aren’t water soluble” comments arise) but winter will be very hard if we don’t have indoor options

DS is 3. Where we live, children (especially those under the age of 6) aren't expected to keep their distance because it's considered unworkable and ridiculous.
We've been to the local theme park, we go out as normally, go to the supermarket, etc. He's too young to have to wear a mask in public places or shops and while I try to ensure he leaves space for people, I don't make a huge deal about it. Lots of adults seem incapable, especially in the supermarket.
He's not meant to stay away from his friends at nursery. They are operating as normal. We had his birthday party in the garden the other day. The adults kept their distance but the children don't need to. I therefore wouldn't drag him away if he decided to play with other children in the playground, either. Schools will run as normal from the start of the new academic year as well. It's all starting to calm down a bit more here.

2 year olds are generally at least a meter away from the nose and mouth of most people anyway. You cant vatch Covid below the neck.

People are utterly ridiculous - sorry you had this experience. I don’t live in Britain, where we are there is zero expectation a toddler would keep their distance. There is also now generally an understanding that transmission risks outdoor are very, very low, (particularly from a toddler - what are they going to do - breathe Coronavirus ok your ankles?) so we don’t have any of this nonsense like arrows on the ground at a wildlife park. Hopefully things like that ease off soon in Britain too and then things will get a little more relaxed for you. In the meantime, sending you support!

I find taking my toddler to places immediately after they’ve opened makes it easier because a lot will only admit a certain amount per hour so if you go early less people will have built up inside. Also have you got a local RHS or national trust garden? The one close to us doesn’t use a one way system and has lots of space so is quite manageable if you again go early.

Virtual for everyone.

I'm not worried about my baby (5m old, always happy) but I am a bit worried about my clever 4 year old, he can just about social distance with reminders but I'm a bit worried he's going to develop some kind of OCD in the future as I keep getting "mummy I touched the ground and didn't wash my hands" "mummy I accidentally touched my mouth" etc.
I can't wait till he starts school and is allowed to play normally.