Garden - Don't think IABU?!

[GeraniumDreams]

Oh lockdown, it has really driven everyone a bit crazy, hasn't it?

We live in a 3 storey terrace. From our top floor we have a good view of the neighbours' (traditional terrace - long and thin) gardens (and they will have the same of ours). Neither side had ever done much with theirs. We'd done a bit more - patio pots, raised beds for veg and flower beds up the side, we struggle a bit to keep on top of it, we go through gardening "phases", then it gets a bit messy again, but do have a gardener in monthly so it never gets completely out of hand, and the grass is cut weekly in summer.

We've not been great at gardening over lockdown. 3 lots of homeschooling (all kids primary aged, haven't been at school since March where we live) and both adults working (other than a brief spell where I was off) hasn't left much time! The gardener has still been in, but there are definitely some weeds in the flower beds...

Neighbours on one side (we don't usually see much of them - no kids, both work full time, so it's just a case of taking in the odd parcel for them and saying hello if we're in the street at the same time) have both been furloughed since April. They have blitzed their garden and done a brilliant job - landscaping, planting, the works. It does look fab.

They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden. Apparently they keep weeding, but weeds keep growing back, and they think that the seeds are blowing through the fence - so they need us to keep our weeds down as if we didn't have any then neither would they.

Aargh. I don't have time! And it's not awful, it's really not - just not National Trust style immaculate. I waffled something about being busy, hopefully we'd get to it soon, etc etc. They said they hoped that it would be this weekend as their weeds keep growing and they won't have time to weed as much when they're back at work soon. This is a bit bonkers, no? Weeds popping up in flower beds should be expected?

On the plus side, they've never once complained about 3 noisy children having been in the garden a lot for the last 4 months. I'm probably overreacting as I'm at max capacity and not getting through my "to do" list as it is...

So they can’t do their own weeding when back in work soon, but expect you to do it now while you’re working?? Bonkers

Is there a fence or a wall between you? Its not something I have ever heard a neighbour complain about before.

They don't seem to understand how weeds work. They are being ridiculous!

I'd tell them to go fuck themselves

Weeds come from all over the place, they're spread by the wind, bird poo, animals... they don't just come from next door 😁 Unless you have a jungle - which it sounds like you don't - you can happily ignore them.

Give the kids a bucket each and offer ice cream when it's full of weeds.

They are utterly bonkers but I love their nativity in thinking that's how weeds work!!

Tell them to piss off, weeds are good for the wildlife.

How are you controlling the wind-borne weed seeds then? Or the ones on visiting cats. Or foxes. Or insects. How are you controlling the insects that go from your garden to theirs? Really hats off if you can WFH, homeschool and still have time to spend wafting seeds over the fence.

They need to fuck off, completely unreasonable!

YANBU. I’d understand if you had a crack den but they’re bonkers

Tell them they are very welcome to come round to do it for you as they clearly have time and you don't.

I’d buy them a book on gardening and highlight the section on weeds. You don’t get them from your neighbours unless they spread through root systems like bindweed.

I think your neighbours have cabin fever.

I would prescribe them a good walk and some "mind your own".

That’s Batshit do they really think they’d be weed less if you didn’t have any? 🤣

To be fair they may have less, but seeds come from everywhere be it wind, birds etc, so they would always have weeds. There is no way round it.

I don’t know how you explain that to them though without making them look stupid.

Your garden sounds fine. They’re being ridiculously precious and self entitled to ask this of you. Our old next door neighbour had a somewhat overgrown garden and we just used to pull up the bind weed that spread onto our side from theirs and trim the trees overhanging our side of the fence. I wouldn’t have dreamt of being so rude as to go round and try to shame them into gardening!!

I’d tell them politely that you’re somewhat distracted by homeschooling your three young children while also doing your usual job during the current global pandemic but that they are welcome to come and weed your garden if they feel that strongly about it, or supervise your children while you do it. Then smile sweetly and ignore them.

throw some poppy seeds over then you can deny its anything to do with you because YOU don't have any poppies

@slipperywhensparticus I second this, great idea

I love how they know for a fact that you’re weeds are causing their weeds! Cos I weed constantly and spray and kill weeds. But they eventually come back. In the same place....... I wouldn’t worry. That’s a bit nit picky tbh. I would never have the brass neck to ask that of a neighbour!

They are. Inkers and clearly don't understand how weeds work. Just ignore them.

Tell them you're too busy but they are more than welcome to come round and do it for you if they are that worries

Thanks. I am glad to have their craziness confirmed! They actually seem really sweet and asked in a way that sounded so reasonable that I wondered whether, in my completely knackered state, I'd forgotten some basic garden etiquette (or managed to get to almost 40 without ever knowing it!). I shall very politely ignore them (although kids and a bucket idea might be an idea for entertaining them - and bonus points if they're spotted from an upstairs window!!).

You are not responsible for weeds in their garden. I've never heard of this sort of complaint before re. neighbours - very odd. Ask for proof.

I would probably just say “No we have no intention of doing more in the garden for our benefit or yours.”

They are crazy, you aren’t. It’s great and lovely for them having lots of time but lots of other people don’t have that luxury. The attempts to enforce a deadline is very telling. Ignore unless you actually planned to do the garden this weekend. Like a lot of us then l assume you want to recharge a bit after a busy week