Garden - Don't think IABU?!

[GeraniumDreams]

Oh lockdown, it has really driven everyone a bit crazy, hasn't it?

We live in a 3 storey terrace. From our top floor we have a good view of the neighbours' (traditional terrace - long and thin) gardens (and they will have the same of ours). Neither side had ever done much with theirs. We'd done a bit more - patio pots, raised beds for veg and flower beds up the side, we struggle a bit to keep on top of it, we go through gardening "phases", then it gets a bit messy again, but do have a gardener in monthly so it never gets completely out of hand, and the grass is cut weekly in summer.

We've not been great at gardening over lockdown. 3 lots of homeschooling (all kids primary aged, haven't been at school since March where we live) and both adults working (other than a brief spell where I was off) hasn't left much time! The gardener has still been in, but there are definitely some weeds in the flower beds...

Neighbours on one side (we don't usually see much of them - no kids, both work full time, so it's just a case of taking in the odd parcel for them and saying hello if we're in the street at the same time) have both been furloughed since April. They have blitzed their garden and done a brilliant job - landscaping, planting, the works. It does look fab.

They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden. Apparently they keep weeding, but weeds keep growing back, and they think that the seeds are blowing through the fence - so they need us to keep our weeds down as if we didn't have any then neither would they.

Aargh. I don't have time! And it's not awful, it's really not - just not National Trust style immaculate. I waffled something about being busy, hopefully we'd get to it soon, etc etc. They said they hoped that it would be this weekend as their weeds keep growing and they won't have time to weed as much when they're back at work soon. This is a bit bonkers, no? Weeds popping up in flower beds should be expected?

On the plus side, they've never once complained about 3 noisy children having been in the garden a lot for the last 4 months. I'm probably overreacting as I'm at max capacity and not getting through my "to do" list as it is...

It depends on the weeds, we are getting nettles from next door as they spread under the ground - some of the roots I have pulled out have been several feet long. We only have them on the side of the neighbours who don't weed their garden and it's a real pain as they are so hard to get rid off.

The only thing I'd check is that you don't have any weeds that spread by their roots that are close to the boundary fence. Things like couch grass and nettles. They constantly creep underneath through the soil and come up the other side, and there is nothing you can do about it unless the neighbour gets rid of them as well.

Anyway, point out to them that digging and cultivating the soil will just bring millions of dormant seeds in the soil to life. That were already in their garden.

@AnotherEmma

"They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden."

My first instinct would be to tell them to fuck off.
But on reflection, I think it would be better say "oh you'd be welcome to come over and do it, you clearly did such a lovely job of your own garden with your free time during lockdown, while we were working full time and home schooling three children".
In a very polite and friendly tone, of course.
While thinking FUCK OFF.

This! I’d be tempted to empty a few packets of random seeds over their fence when they’re at work!

Wow - your neighbours are a little mad.

My neighbour actually has some bamboo growing that is the spreading type (roots travel underground) and it has invaded my garden but I would still not complain as I would feel a little silly doing so!

They are so rude. Don't weed let it get awful.

My neighbours weeds spread into my garden when a fence panel came loose, it was a nightmare fixing it as I had to dig up a nice patch of garden, but I wouldn’t have forced her to weed her garden to help mine. They need to accept weeds are often part of having a garden and find a way around it themselves. Blown weeds don’t tend to create weeds where they land so it’s a bit odd she’s blaming you.

Soil is full of seeds from plants, many of them so-called 'weeds'. You dig your garden over - which they have - you expose a new batch of seeds to the light, they germinate. If your neighbours think they can blitz their garden once, and never have to touch it again, they know nothing about gardening.

Weed seeds can last 10 years in the ground. So you can weed and weed and weed and they'll keep coming back. Makes no difference what your neighbours do.
The only exceptions are things like bindweed, which spreads through its root system and can come though from next door. It is polite to try to keep on top of plants like these - they'll come back, but you can keep then under control.
Your neighbours have a looooot to learn about gardening...

As someone else said, most likely to be weeds from their own soil if they've just done their garden, with exceptions like brambles maybe making it over from you!

I have to be honest, I have have had several gardens with neighbours who dont weed or do anything else, aand am heartedly sick of huge brambles, dandilions,grasses, big deed rooted nasty things taking over my garden. One side they have plants that died last summer just sitting there, we have big gardens, but why do you buy a place with a big garden if you dont like gardening. The ivy and bramblesbindweed,dandilions,have smashed the fence in they are so big. We have never said anything to them, just try very hard to kep our side nice.

Unbelievable! I would have had a very hard time not saying something rude to them for having the cheek to tell you how much gardening you should do in your own garden. Unless your garden is attracting rats, or you are allowing climbing plants/weeds to damage their fence, they can f* off with their rude opinions of your gardening prowess.

Tell them to fuck off, I don’t have any immediate neighbours and my (brand new) lawn of five years ago is just moss, dandelions and clover, I have to spray the block paving For weeds every two weeks in the summer. She is feckin nuts, she won’t stop weeds, the seeds blow miles in the wind.

She is fighting a losing battle. Tell her so and don’t let her blame you for her weeds.

If you don’t normally have an issue with them, I’d just smile and say “I’ll try my best but I can’t promise anything” and then do nothing. There’s really no point in being antagonistic.

I'd just say no. I wouldn't feel the need to explain to them the if buts and why.

I would apologise profusely and explain that with everything else on your plate it really isn't a priority and won't be for some time, but that if they feel that strongly about it you won't be offended if they come over and weed your garden for you. That's fair and reasonable, I think. And probably the last you'll hear of it.

YANBU, it's not as though they've worried about their weeds in previous years.

Hopefully they're not like my friend, she got a message as an afterthought from her neighbour (they do get along well apparently) along the lines of BTW the kids have popped over the fence to pull out the big weeds! . Which I would say is VERY cheeky.

Friend was a bit horrified as the far end of their garden is not only overgrown but in the overgrowth are numerous trip and other hazards which my friend knows about and their location! And they do cut it back once a year with the strimmer before it seeds, just hadn't done it at the time.

DH feeds the birds. We've got barley growing now through the cracks in the flags.

They know the weeds aren’t coming from your side OP, they’re simply trying to say that they don’t want to look at your untidy garden from their upstairs windows and they want you to do something about it pronto.
Ignore.

Wow. Lucky I don't have your neighbours. We are rubbish with our garden and we're away with our jobs a lot and it always seems when we finally get a full weekend at home together it's raining (or we'd rather not spend what little time we do have together pulling up weeds). We do what we can but if one of our neighbours came round and said that, I'd just laugh and close door. Or maybe tell them if it bothered them that much they could crack on and sort it out themselves.

On the other hand we do get an amazing array of butterflies and dragonflies when it's overgrown. It always makes me sad to cut it all back and watch them disappear.

d or do anything else, aand am heartedly sick of huge brambles, dandilions,grasses, big deed rooted nasty things taking over my garden

Not nasty! Brambles are lovely! And dandelions very useful! Good for detoxification and great salad leaves! People really need to rethink what are considered weeds! Poi's Ines laburnum trees = fine. Ooh pretty flowers! But humble bramble, lovely pies, nice blossom = weed! Nonsense, the lot of it!

@MikeUniformMike probably common periwinkle.

They are crazy. They won't get weeds from your garden any more than anyone else's and they have no right to tell you how often you need to weed your garden. Tell them in between working and home schooling you have no time but the gardener keeps on top of it monthly.

Bindweed, brambles, ivy are all a pain if they’re going from your side, but I’d just spray and ignore (were I your neighbour). I certainly wouldn’t go round and say I hope you’re sorting it this weekend, that’s so unbearably rude! I have plans this weekend-sleep/drink wine. I would not be happy if the neighbour was trying to organise my days off! Also, schools having finished today, you probably want a relaxed weekend, not a chore filled one.

I gave up on weeding and purposefully planted weeds wildflowers so I don't have to bother with it

Cheeky bastards!