Garden - Don't think IABU?!

[GeraniumDreams]

Oh lockdown, it has really driven everyone a bit crazy, hasn't it?

We live in a 3 storey terrace. From our top floor we have a good view of the neighbours' (traditional terrace - long and thin) gardens (and they will have the same of ours). Neither side had ever done much with theirs. We'd done a bit more - patio pots, raised beds for veg and flower beds up the side, we struggle a bit to keep on top of it, we go through gardening "phases", then it gets a bit messy again, but do have a gardener in monthly so it never gets completely out of hand, and the grass is cut weekly in summer.

We've not been great at gardening over lockdown. 3 lots of homeschooling (all kids primary aged, haven't been at school since March where we live) and both adults working (other than a brief spell where I was off) hasn't left much time! The gardener has still been in, but there are definitely some weeds in the flower beds...

Neighbours on one side (we don't usually see much of them - no kids, both work full time, so it's just a case of taking in the odd parcel for them and saying hello if we're in the street at the same time) have both been furloughed since April. They have blitzed their garden and done a brilliant job - landscaping, planting, the works. It does look fab.

They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden. Apparently they keep weeding, but weeds keep growing back, and they think that the seeds are blowing through the fence - so they need us to keep our weeds down as if we didn't have any then neither would they.

Aargh. I don't have time! And it's not awful, it's really not - just not National Trust style immaculate. I waffled something about being busy, hopefully we'd get to it soon, etc etc. They said they hoped that it would be this weekend as their weeds keep growing and they won't have time to weed as much when they're back at work soon. This is a bit bonkers, no? Weeds popping up in flower beds should be expected?

On the plus side, they've never once complained about 3 noisy children having been in the garden a lot for the last 4 months. I'm probably overreacting as I'm at max capacity and not getting through my "to do" list as it is...

This is it.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prunella_vulgaris

Of course YANBU, tell them to help themselves to your weeds as you are too busy. The battle against weeds is never-ending as any gardener will know so I would just laugh at their request but this is not worth falling out over.

I think they are extremely rude and presumptuous to try and tell you how you should keep your garden and spend your weekend.

If your children are not screaming relentlessly in your garden then they also aren't doing you any favours by not complaining.

You choose to live in an urban setting, you choose life and all its normal noise levels.

I choose to be respectful and considerate of my neighbours but I would not entertain bull like this.

I would be ignoring their request.

If they come over again I would say "I would hate to fall out with you over you trying to tell me what to do with my garden, and how I should spend my weekend, so lets not!!"

Tell them its a wildlife garden..... Butterflies lay their eggs on nettles, bees drink from dandelions..... small birds eat grass seeds.....

You're causing their weeds?

I didnt realise i could blame my neighbours for the weeds that reappear. Im off to complain to them now.

They're idiots. Its a very odd request and I wonder if they used a rotavator when they did their grand garden blitz. I've seen a couple of instances where they made a weed situation much worse after the initial tidy phase.

This is hilarious! Even if your garden was categorically 100% responsible for the weeds in their garden it is still their problem, and even if your garden was immaculate they'd still have loads of work to do to keep on top of weeds in their garden.

They are being completely unreasonable and complete idiots to boot. Sadly, beautifully manicured gardens don't stay that way without a lot of maintenance, regardless of who your neighbours are!

I live in the middle of nowhere and still get weeds, they are probably blowing in from all that pesky countryside that farmers do not keep immaculately maintained and astro turfed. It's a relief I have no one around me as I love Convolvulus and have three of them growing in my garden!

Absolutely bonkers for so many reasons!

To be honest if they have been patient with 3 children outside in the garden all during lockdown, then a PP idea of getting the kids to do some weeding will probably go down very well.

Summer hols have just about started everywhere so why not!

its probably because they have dug their soil for the first time in years and have therefore brought a load of new seeds to the surface. Anyhow you would be perfectly within your rights to plant a wildlife garden wouldnt you? I have foxgloves, cornflowers and other such plants in miine that many people would consider weeds. One of my favourite gardening seed companies sells dandilion seeds. they r mad.

@Snigletted

Give the kids a bucket each and offer ice cream when it's full of weeds.

And sit back in admiration as 3 young kids present you with buckets of your prized pansies and the like 😂

OP, they're bonkers. Ignore.

YANBU, but if you planted some trees they would keep some of the smaller plants down, and provide shade, and different habitats for wildlife, and food.

I have some experience of this, from your neighbours perspective. I had my garden completely redone professionally, it was designed in such a way that it would require minimum input from me. My neighbours let weeds grow which would either get under my fence, or the seeds blow into my garden and take root. I really didn’t have the time or energy to be out there dealing with it every week.

I'd just say...

"Oh right, well I've have a think about that. We've been really busy."

And then either remove the weeds or not, depending on if you want to or not.

No need to be rude about it though. There are people with far too much time on their hands at the moment!

Your not being unreasonable. But it is always good to keep cordial relationships with neighbours especially as they are generally friendly and never complained about the children.

How about weeding once and then putting down a layer of thick mulch/bark to keep the weeds down

if the weeds were actually growing through the fence I could in some small way understand, i suffer from this, but then again I would never think to mention it to my neighbour as shes a hard working mum who has better things to do with her spare time then weed her garden, i just take in on the chin and put the work in my side to keep it down. i suspect they'll go back to ignoring their garden once their back at work and let you off the hook hopefully.

only place that would wash was Japanese knot weed.

If it’s bindweed they might have a bit of a point. I keep my garden looking lovely but both neighbouring gardens are overrun with the evil stuff and it just keeps coming back under the fences.

I wouldn’t say anything but it’s a bit annoying.

However I suspect they fall into the category of gardeners who think you only need to weed once. Bless

Tell them to piss off, weeds are good for the wildlife

Spot on! It does my head in seeing people pull up dandelions and cutting down Jack by the Hedge when wild flowers are vital for pollinators. It was even featured on Gardeners World

They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden

This would be one of the few times I would agree with MN that "''no' is a complete sentence".

Unless they sterilised their soil, it will be full of seeds

We had a neighbour who used to half clear their garden at irregular intervals and it didn't give us a weed problem - just a snail problem when it rained.

I get annoyed with weeds coming through from next door, their garden is like a jungle and the nettles and bindweed just spreads under the fence. I wouldn’t say anything to them though as obviously I can’t make them sort their garden out.

They've just come round to speak to me to ask if we could do a better job of keeping on top of our garden

How many years/months has it been since they last touched their gardens????
I would have laughed in their face and said something along the lines of "are you on glue? your weeds have nothing to do with me or my garden - i suggest you visit B&Q/Garden Centre for advice on how to look after your garden after neglecting it for so long"

Don't be a doormat for twats OP.