I'm a cleaner - please help me with this customer

[jess3817]

So about 3 weeks I got a call from a lady, asking for a spring clean taking however long it takes then having 3 hours a week after that. I uusually pop round before hand to meet them and see the size of the house etc so I can gauge time etc. She wouldn't let me and just asked me to come on a set date and clean. I had one day clear that week ( 2 regulars hadn't come back to me at that point so used their time slot) I explained this to her.
Well. Basically she hordes - not really bad like on the telly but getting that way. I was shocked but didn't want to say no because she has various health issues including ME and she really wants the place cleaned up so I agreed to help. I was there 7 hours and when I went again 5 days later it was completely decimated, she wanted me to move on to something else etc etc. I keep my work phone off after 630pm and when I switch it on in the morning 3 times I've had a series of texts when am I coming etc- when I've written it down for her and emailed it. Also, last week she text and asked me to call pest control as she heard scratching in the night I did this for her. I've been getting really stressed about it as I'm not train do equipped for this type of job - I know it's my fault for not saying no in the first place but..- I gently suggested she get a deep cleaning company to sort it wich will help me help her, because then I can come over and just keep on top of things. SHe said she needs to sort through her papers/ she's not ready/ it's not rubbish it's stuff she wants to keep. We had a conversation where I explained I don't think I can do this for her until it's deep cleaned professionally, she doesn't thing it's needed and she wants me to 'maintain things for her' I agreed to the bathroom stairs and half the kitchen. Then on Monday she mentioned the pest control - asked me have them invoiced me fore it? I said no when would they invoice me- I presume they will her when the job is complete? She said because I called them?! I said yes, I called them butbut at no point did I say they could invoice me. A friend of mine thinks she's pulling a fast one.
I've only had her 3 weeks and I'm really stressed over this - I'm thinking about working for her til the end of the month and calling it a day or would that be a bit heartless. - she cancelled me last Thursday and when I arrived on Monday she said oh you can't come today I have an appointment - she could have texted and told me.

You need to tell her that you are a professional cleaner and not a professional organiser and declutter . If you go to the APDO website Association of professional Declutterers & organisers you will find someone that deals with this kind of problem in your area. Once they have sorted the house out then say you will happily come each week for three hours to keep it up.

You sound lovely but you are running a business, not a charity. I'd simply send a message to say I can no longer help her, maybe give her details to contact pest control herself, and then either stop answering or just keep repeating "I cannot help you".

You need business boundaries and then need to stick to them - otherwise (some) people will tend to push and push.

Go today - get your money for last week, then leave. She is pulling strange tricks with the pest control thing and her home isn't in a state for you to be able to clean it. You work for yourself so you get to make these decisions! She can want what she likes but it isn't her call.

@OohThatCat this is how I feel - she had me chopping veg for her dinner the first tday I was there - was so shocked i said yes to helping.
To the poster who asked..Not London and not those initials.

Well after reading everything you said, I went over - I didn't want to be rude as I had agreed to go today, and stood on the door step and told her unfortunately I wouldn't be able to work for her anymore explained again why, she did try saying with the ME it's never going to be a bit of light dusting and hoovering , I said I understood as a friend has it, but that it was my fault I should have said no to the job in the first place as I'm a domestic cleaner not a professional declutterer and organiser, at wich point I handed her a piece of paper I'd written some names and numbers down of such services - including the website another mn posted about further up. She asked why did I agree to go today when she checked this morning I was going and I politely said because I needed to check she'd be there , as if she was going to be going out like on Monday itd have saved me going up there.

Have received payment from her.
Thanks for all the help - was feeling completely torn as didn't want to be a cow to her as she is a nice person to talk too.

@IntermittentParps I don't need the work - I have 3 people on a waiting list.
I feel so much less stressed already.

You've done the right thing. Block her number now and move on.

Well done, OP. I think you've acted professionally and admirably.

Well done OP. You sound lovely and obviously very torn and tried to help. best of luck

@SRK16 My friend who has ME works in a certain proffession and she said to refer to adult services but I don't really want to get that involved - though she might benifit from it as thinks she wants some kind of home help - she asked me if I'd help prepare food, do a bit of shoping for her etc @11Piffle11 that's exactly what I love about my love, I get to go to work, make a bit of a difference to someone and then go home. End of.

I think she does want it sorted but like you say done on her terms so she's in control of it

@AnotherBoredOne @IntermittentParps, @Elouera ah thank you very much all of you. Yes definitely time to move on. 🙂

Well done you’ve done the right thing. You’ve tried to help, given her some information, it’s up to her now.

Well done. You are a nice human

I would just explain to her politely that this kind of job is well out of your remit .You do not have to say any more than that.She sounds like she has MH issues .Just take your money and move on

Well done - the fact she had you chopping veg means she very clearly needs much more help than you should provide, but now you've provided her with information she can get the proper home help assistance she needs

Sorry missed your catch up post .You did the right thing .Sometimes people with issues cannot always see that they need help .However you did the right thing and hopefully she will be able to call someone who will be able to help.

'OP, are you in London? Are this woman's intials VR?' Omg Quim that's what I had in mind when I read the OP, an energy suck and bottomless pit of despair for anyone in its gravitational pull. (I didn't work there but a friend did.)
OP save yourself! My friend had a client like this and it was so draining and all-encompassing, it's hard to put into words the effect it had on her. The client had no boundaries and clearly needed help. In this sort of situation there is often an unbearable amount of anxiety and obsessing about managing the unmanageable. It requires a mental health professional to actually make any headway here, you will just be chewed up and spat out.

Oops sorry, I see things have moved on. Well done OP.

Yes too much going on here. She needs more specialist help. Horders can be notoriously difficult to reason with,and she may think that all this clear out and pest stuff is in your job description, which it is plainly not.
You don't need all the stress and worry about everything here.And you can't really tell her what to do, to get her life and house in order again, if she is pulling back all the time.

I think it would be the right thing to call adult services and see if they can offer her some help but beyond that, you have no obligations.

@dottiedodah yeah i hope she does get someone in to help- I think she does want it, but it'll have to be on her terms wich will make it a difficult job because I don't know if she'll fully commit to it.@141forAll74 I just tried to nudge her in the right direction.@pawpawpawpaw this is how I was feeling!

@pawpawpaw Oh my word are you serious? You know who I mean?!

@QuimReaper sent you a pm.