I'm a cleaner - please help me with this customer

[jess3817]

So about 3 weeks I got a call from a lady, asking for a spring clean taking however long it takes then having 3 hours a week after that. I uusually pop round before hand to meet them and see the size of the house etc so I can gauge time etc. She wouldn't let me and just asked me to come on a set date and clean. I had one day clear that week ( 2 regulars hadn't come back to me at that point so used their time slot) I explained this to her.
Well. Basically she hordes - not really bad like on the telly but getting that way. I was shocked but didn't want to say no because she has various health issues including ME and she really wants the place cleaned up so I agreed to help. I was there 7 hours and when I went again 5 days later it was completely decimated, she wanted me to move on to something else etc etc. I keep my work phone off after 630pm and when I switch it on in the morning 3 times I've had a series of texts when am I coming etc- when I've written it down for her and emailed it. Also, last week she text and asked me to call pest control as she heard scratching in the night I did this for her. I've been getting really stressed about it as I'm not train do equipped for this type of job - I know it's my fault for not saying no in the first place but..- I gently suggested she get a deep cleaning company to sort it wich will help me help her, because then I can come over and just keep on top of things. SHe said she needs to sort through her papers/ she's not ready/ it's not rubbish it's stuff she wants to keep. We had a conversation where I explained I don't think I can do this for her until it's deep cleaned professionally, she doesn't thing it's needed and she wants me to 'maintain things for her' I agreed to the bathroom stairs and half the kitchen. Then on Monday she mentioned the pest control - asked me have them invoiced me fore it? I said no when would they invoice me- I presume they will her when the job is complete? She said because I called them?! I said yes, I called them butbut at no point did I say they could invoice me. A friend of mine thinks she's pulling a fast one.
I've only had her 3 weeks and I'm really stressed over this - I'm thinking about working for her til the end of the month and calling it a day or would that be a bit heartless. - she cancelled me last Thursday and when I arrived on Monday she said oh you can't come today I have an appointment - she could have texted and told me.

Some clients really aren't worth the hassle. I would cease immediately. She isn't bothered about your feelings, you've been turned away twice with no concern, and presumably no money. Her chaotic life is not your problem. Not your circus, not your monkeys. You don't need to say why if you are bothered. Make an excuse if necessary, but she will continue to think she can muck about in this way.

I've only read the OP and I think if you want to stop cleaning for her then stop. Don't go back for more first. Get all monies owed and if you feel she needs it refer to social services.

I had a client like this and it really was a stressful time. I feel for you. Nothing I cleaned made a difference and it got worse and worse. I was then left to care for her dog while she went on holiday leaving it in the house alone
There was poo everywhere and I ended up breaking down it was too much!
The lady needs professional help. Get her to pay for what she owes and then tell her it’s beyond the services you provide.
You’ll feel so relieved when you’re out of there!

Agree with the others.

1. tell her you won’t be coming until she’s paid got last Monday

2. when you’ve been paid tell her - in writing - that the size of the job is beyond a domestic cleaning service, that she requires professional services who specialise in what she is asking for, and that the pest control company is nothing to do with you and you will not be invoiced for any services they provide to her as they were instructed to work for her, not you. Then say that you will no longer be cleaning for her.

OP, are you in London? Are this woman's intials VR?

Unless you really really need the work, I think you should say you can no longer work for her.

I'm freelance and I know how it is to worry about where the work and money is coming from, but I've also learned that some clients are really not worth it.

With the best will in the world, stop. Just tell her that you are not going to be coming again, you are not the person she needs.

Apart from the current additional issues around infection - of you - you won't be helping her as you might think you are.

MIL was, amongst other things, a hoarder and I took a specialist psych course whilst at Uni, just to try and figure it out. It is waaaaaaa to more complex than just being a hoarder.

Basically, if you try and help you will just get sucked into her world, you are already feeling that aren't you?

If you feel bad about just leaving you could ask around, see if your NHS has a specialist adult psych team who could help, but it is highly unlikely. Ultimately she needs much more help than you could possibly supply and she will demand ever more of your time and emotions. You have no obligation to her... You can put yourself first!

I would tell her your clients have come back now and it is no longer possible for you to work for her.

I’d write off the Monday payment rather than go back.

I used to be a cleaner op and I just wouldn't do it. Any requests outside of cleaning should be a firm no, that isn't what I do as a response. I had only one cleaning job vaguely similar to yours, didn't matter how much I cleaned the place was still what I would consider dirty and quickly went back to what it was by the next week. Years of dirt and clutter can't be fixed with a few hours given a week, I kept doing it as they didn't have higher expectations of me so it was ok. Cancelling at short notice on a regular basis is a good reason to quit, it is your time and money.

I would google the number of a company that offers what she needs. Then explain that you don’t provide the service she requires but could try this other company.

Then block her number.

Walk away OP and block her number. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

As someone who has this issue as well as multiple disabilties I can tell you there's very little point letting adult services know. When things were getting a bit of an issue for me my room was described as "filthy dirty" in an assessment and I was given two weeks to fix it by myself. I couldn't - that was why I asked for help; the staff came back and binned everything. And I mean everything. I had to replace everything i needed. I lost valuable photographs/letters/gifts from people who had died, it was devastating and very expensive as I needed to replace things like pots and pans/bedding etc.

I tried again when it became much much worse and, supposedly, a recognised part of mental illness. I spoke for weeks to a "specialist" social worker who I even let in (for years I let no one in); she promised to help and go through things with me, at that appointment which I was dreading and scared of her student turned up with rolls of bin liners to, and I quote, "chuck all your junk". When I spoke again to the social worker she said it was the best way to sort it.

I've no support anymore. My problem is much much worse and will never be fixed. I can't trust anyone now. I know my landlord contacted adult services - they were told I wouldn't engage. When we rang them together all they could offer was a cleaners telephone number and "mindfulness".

They didn't and don't understand. At all.

You may have to write off the last payment though...

A couple of years ago a lady I met in hospital on mental health ward died when her hoarding stuff collapsed on her in bed. At the inquest mental health team and social services said it was her fault for refusing to engage and as she had no illness they couldn't do anything.

She'd been sectioned on and off most of her life; like me (though she didn't know it) they went in and threw out everything she owned devasting her - leading to her having another breakdown. The coroner knew that and told them to sort themselves out.

Their advice to those with such issues is still to employ a cleaner with x amount of time to sort it out.

They've no consideration whatsoever for the cleaner. If I was you I'd get money owed and not go back.

"I've only had her 3 weeks and I'm really stressed over this - I'm thinking about working for her til the end of the month and calling it a day or would that be a bit heartless. - she cancelled me last Thursday and when I arrived on Monday she said oh you can't come today I have an appointment - she could have texted and told me."
I think you should call it a day today.Three weeks and she's been nothing but stress from the start - before the start, as she wouldn't let you assess the job (because she knew you'd turn it down).

I wouldn't even go this afternoon. Text then block.

You’re entitled to reasonable job conditions. I think you’re being very kind to her but she’s not capable of meeting the conditions you need to carry out your work.

It’s awful to think people live in such chaos, it’s so debilitating, but sorting that out is not what you do.

This is a mental health problem OP and you really can’t get involved.

Just tell her you can’t do it and try and find her a number for professionals then block her number .

I'm with everyone else - get paid what you're owed, tell her politely that you're not equipped for this job, and block her.

Stop working for her immediately and don't feel bad. She's not currently in the position for a normal level of cleaning, and she should have been upfront about this from the start.
There are professionals out there who can help those with hoarding issues. She needs this first, before moving on to regular cleans.

Please don't waste any more of your time on this. She is only going to get worse as she learns to push the boundaries even further and further with you. You won't be the first person she tried this on with.

Drop her like a hot brick.

You've been going for 3 weeks and she's already stressing you out!!

She's a bit of a CF, is overly demanding, isn't paying you on time and is asking more of you than your role.

Just NO!!

I’ve been a cleaner in the past but always insisted that nobody was home when I did it. Then I got a couple who were retired, they promised me they would go out and they did, but only for about half the time and the woman would keep talking to me, she was telling me I wasn’t a businesswoman because if I was I would register with the social services and would get lots of clients, telling me all about her former career in retail management and trying to get me to start a proper business with employees etc. I did it for about a month then wrote a letter to say I wouldn’t be going back (I find mention of a back problem is a great get out clause). You are working to support yourself, not others. If you wanted to be a carer you would be doing that instead!

I suppose you could ask for the money on arrival and then tell her you're not doing any more, but otherwise I'd write off last week's pay and get the hell out of there; the mess in the house is nothing to the mess she'll create in your mind if you carry on with this

Go today.

Ask for you Monday payment, and for today's money up front. If you don't get this, leave and take her to the small claims court (if you feel it's worth the hassle) for Monday. If you do get it, clean today and then make that your last visit for her,

Tell her your other clients are needing you again, and as they furloughed you (whether they did or not), they are your priority.

You aren't paid enough to tolerate this.

I’ve had a customer like her in the past so I know how stressful it is. Tell her you are coming to collect last weeks wages, make sure you get them from her. Then tell her you are no longer able to provide your service to her/block her, whatever you feel is best. Just don’t return, it will only get worse like it did for me eg. Can you buy me some bleach and I’ll let you leave 10 minutes early to cover it