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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That now is not the time to visit a zoo

121 replies

aceofspades987 · 15/07/2020 23:42

NC as family are on here.

I'm shielding and have barely been out apart from quiet walks since March so am prepared to hear that I'm BU.

My brother is taking his DC to a fairly busy zoo next week. They refuse to make the DC wear masks at the moment so are unlikely to wear them when they visit the zoo.

For background, during the last month or so they have been visiting us and trying to socially distance in our garden but it's quite tricky as the DC are so young. I feel that knowing they will have been somewhere so crowded makes me not want them to come round to our garden (as I have said it is very hard to SD at the best of times)

Am I being overly cautious?

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 16/07/2020 08:46

How young are the DC? If they're out and about generally, I'd be concerned with every visit about where they've been and what they've touched.

Unless they are keeping more than 2m from you in your garden in which case whether or not they go to the zoo is irrelevant?

Chemo is such a horrible tiring process, it's enough to worry about without the current situation. I do think the zoo is a red herring, I think you need to work out how you're happy to see them at a distance and then carry on, or not see them.

Meredithgrey1 · 16/07/2020 08:55

They are not being unreasonable to visit a zoo if that's what they want to do. Technically they don't have to wear masks either if they go before the 24th.

Zoos are not somewhere we have to wear masks from 24th (except in the gift shop), and since the children are young they won't have to wear them anywhere.

ZombieLizzieBennet · 16/07/2020 08:59

Chemo is such a horrible tiring process, it's enough to worry about without the current situation. I do think the zoo is a red herring, I think you need to work out how you're happy to see them at a distance and then carry on, or not see them.

I agree. There's a good chance they're going to be doing things that are more risky than being in an open air environment for a day, if not now then in the near future. This is going to be an issue for a while, so I think you'll need to give some thought to how you feel about the risks and benefits of seeing them.

tulippa · 16/07/2020 09:03

I understand why you're worried but think zoos are one of the lower risk activities you can do at the moment. We went to a safari park with an attached zoo at the weekend. I had to pre book. It was fairly quiet as visitor numbers were limited. Also very easy to social distance and get round without touching anything. I felt much safer there than I do when out shopping.

I think if you're going to insist your relatives avoid visiting you for two weeks after going to the zoo you should ask them to do the same after they've been to the supermarket.

Warmer20Days · 16/07/2020 09:03

Surely you cannot police what other people do like

Going to work
Going to supermarket
Going for exercise
Going to cafes, restaurants
Zoos
Schools

Continue with social distancing, hand washing, mask wearing

MessAllOver · 16/07/2020 09:05

YANBU not to have them round for a couple of weeks. TANBU to go to the zoo.

Children have been largely shut off from the outside world for months. I took my toddler to the playground last week for the first time and it was upsetting to see how much confidence he has lost in lockdown. They need to get out.

JaniceWebster · 16/07/2020 09:06

YANBU at all not to want to be put at risk! Your own family should really be more mindful and respectful of your situation.

In itself, they are not BU to go to a zoo - as far as I know, zoos only allow prebooked tickets and limit numbers, and being outside is the same as being in a park. When all shops, hairdressers, cinemas even are reopened or reopening, the zoo is a fairly safe place in comparison.

BobFleming · 16/07/2020 09:09

Would anyone really put small kids in masks? In shops it will be for over 11s, and wouldn’t even be a requirement in a zoo, apart from in the gift shop.

alwaysraining123 · 16/07/2020 09:10

I went to the zoo at the weekend and it was extremely quiet. They said there's tickets for 3000 people/day but a normal weekend day is 15,000. This gave me a lot of confidence to go as I anticipated it would feel quieter than normal.

One observation I have noted - it seems many people who are shielding (either because they have to are choosing to) want everyone else to as well! It's important to me that people are getting out, supporting jobs, and spending money.

WanderingMilly · 16/07/2020 09:11

Now is exactly the right time to be visiting a zoo. There are far fewer people and entrance is limited by booking, it's outdoors so less likely to be virus transmission.

What's more, zoos desperately need visitors because a lack of income is going to mean animals destroyed and zoos closed if not.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 16/07/2020 09:19

Rates of community transmission are incredibly low. Even shielding your chance of getting it from them, unless they live in one of a handful of hotspots, is incredibly low.

Try to relax.

JaniceWebster · 16/07/2020 09:19

it seems many people who are shielding (either because they have to are choosing to) want everyone else to as well!

if others want to visit, then it makes sense. As soon as you go back to normal, you stop visiting people who are shielding. It was safe after being locked down for weeks if you respected the rules, it's not anymore

I find it more surprising that some people who were very strictly shielding even during the lockdown are back to normal now - when the risk is much higher than it was a few weeks ago.

Jaxhog · 16/07/2020 09:22

I am astonished that so many people think you are YABU! You are being entirely reasonable about safeguarding yourself in whatever way you see fit. It's not like they'll suffer by not being able to visit you for 2 weeks.

I'm also shielding and am so tired of being told I should do this or that because 'it's not so bad'. It's my life, and I'll decide what I think is reasonable to safeguard it.

Bibijayne · 16/07/2020 09:25

Understand your concerns, but YABU to say they cannot go to one of the safer outdoor activities (zoos are very restricted on numbers). Also small children are exempt from wearing masks and under 3s should not wear them as they are dangerous for toddlers and infants.

But asking them to wait two weeks before visiting you is totally reasonable given your health.

JaniceWebster · 16/07/2020 09:29

Would anyone really put small kids in masks?

You can try... You can just about force kids to wear a hat, but a mask? If nothing else, it sounds awfully dangerous to make it normal to accept something blocking your face! (you and I know the difference between a mask and say a plastic bag, a very young child not so much...)

alwaysraining123 · 16/07/2020 09:32

Yes I should have said this. If you're shielding it's completely reasonable to put safeguards around yourself including not seeing people who have been in contact with others.

However, I don't think it's reasonable to expect others, not in your household, to stop going out because of the risk to you (because you can control if you see them).

My thought is that cases are very low at the moment. Maybe now is the time to get out a little (before autumn/winter)? As you can do many activities outside transmission risk is low.

GinDrinker00 · 16/07/2020 09:33

They’re not being unreasonable you are unfortunately.
If they go to the shops etc then it’s no different to them visiting a zoo. I would just politely ask them not to visit for a while if it’s making you uncomfortable.

mencken · 16/07/2020 09:41

we all have a right to make our own decisions. If you don't want them round for 2 weeks after they've been somewhere busier, that's entirely up to you and they need to respect that.

some are going to pubs, some are going to lots of shops, some are having visitors. Many are not. As I said, we all make our own decisions.

Tooshytoshine · 16/07/2020 09:42

It's not unreasonable to worry, but they also aren't unreasonable to go to the zoo. Most attractions for kids are taking huge precautions though so it isn't as risky as it my initially seem.

Sorry that you are having a tougher time than most. Perhaps speak to your family and only see the adults in your garden or explain your concerns and let them decide.

MintyMabel · 16/07/2020 09:52

Zoos are terrible at any time.

Shelby30 · 16/07/2020 09:56

I'd say quite the opposite unless you want all the zoo's to close down permanently.

They are typically outside which makes catching the virus a lot less likely.

If you personally aren't comfortable with your family visiting you because of where they have been then that is up to you.

SueEllenMishke · 16/07/2020 09:57

It would make more sense for you to ask them to wear a mask when visiting you. Masks are to stop you from spreading germs not picking them up

Popsie17 · 16/07/2020 09:59

Zoos are open air. My local zoo has shut the indoor parts. Also, my local zoo had to open to make money in order to keep running and feed the animals & pay staff. Many would have shut if they didn’t open.

Redcherries · 16/07/2020 10:02

Blimey this thread!

YANBU op to not see your brother for 2 weeks, its a shame your title was misleading as I think you've had a rough time on here from people not grasping your question.

Why do people think we aren't shielding if we follow the guidance and see people outside, I'd really prefer not to be shielded but having people belittle the situation because we've had a glass of wine socially distanced in our garden - following the gov advice - is so bloody frustrating.

I'm sorry you're going through Chemo, I wish you well.

stitchmaker85 · 16/07/2020 10:02

YABU to expect them not to visit the zoo.
YANBU to request they don't visit your garden.

I don't think you can expect them to continue sacrificing a return to some sort of normality (eg days out at outdoor places) just so they can come and visit you. Kids have been through enough

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