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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That now is not the time to visit a zoo

121 replies

aceofspades987 · 15/07/2020 23:42

NC as family are on here.

I'm shielding and have barely been out apart from quiet walks since March so am prepared to hear that I'm BU.

My brother is taking his DC to a fairly busy zoo next week. They refuse to make the DC wear masks at the moment so are unlikely to wear them when they visit the zoo.

For background, during the last month or so they have been visiting us and trying to socially distance in our garden but it's quite tricky as the DC are so young. I feel that knowing they will have been somewhere so crowded makes me not want them to come round to our garden (as I have said it is very hard to SD at the best of times)

Am I being overly cautious?

OP posts:
PrayingandHoping · 16/07/2020 07:43

Have they been shopping in supermarkets? A zoo is far more low risk than that!

We've been several times now. There is LOADS of space at our zoo to not go near anyone and if there is a group in a certain place it's easy to avoid. The v popular areas all have markers on floors and keepers there to make sure everyone stays safe

Aragog · 16/07/2020 07:44

I recently went to a wildlife park and it really wasn't crowded. It was all outside and there was lots of room to walk and stand without being close to others. There were sanitisers everywhere to use and other measures in place to restrict contact and reduce risk.

They don't need masks as they are outdoors and likely a distance from people.

I'm clinically vulnerable so not shielding. However I have to say that it all felt very safe and low risk.

Stinkyjellycat · 16/07/2020 07:49

I can understand your caution given your situation. I went with you recently and it was extremely busy. None of the indoor attractions was open, so I think that even though it was only filled at half capacity, it still felt full. I’d just as them to wait 2 weeks if you’re worried. I’m sure they’d understand.

HOkieCOkie · 16/07/2020 07:52

You are completely right to be worried and in understand. But for healthy people life has to start back up again. Sorry 😐

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 16/07/2020 07:53

The sensible answer here is to not see them for 2 weeks, not dictate where they can go isnt it?

You have the right to protect your own health, you dont have the right to dictate how other people choose to live their lives.

GreyishDays · 16/07/2020 07:54

I agree with PPs, zoo is no higher risk than a park etc which they won’t tell you about. They are not crowded atm. There are limited booked slots, special one way systems etc. People are keeping 2m. Well they were at the one we went to at the weekend.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 16/07/2020 07:56

Zoos not busy? Hahahaha, the zoo I went to a few weeks ago was heaving and no one was socially distancing. It has put me off going back.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 16/07/2020 07:59

I think you can do whatever you please, if you feel uncomfortable with their visits just stop them for the time being, as long as you find a good excuse and they respect it, everything will be fine.

yeOldeTrout · 16/07/2020 08:00

Have you been monitoring everywhere else they go and what they did there & how they interacted with anyone else there before deciding if they can come around?

madbirdlady22 · 16/07/2020 08:00

I can understand why you are being so careful, and most people in your position would be feeling the same.

If you are worried, I would ask them not to visit for the next two weeks, but be aware they may start doing other things you see as risky, as they need to restart their lives. You need to prepare to see much less of them, or maybe not at all.

We are finding that most attractions are being extremely careful, much more careful than a supermarket for instance. Open air, and socially distanced makes it much safer than most things.

I am sorry to say but I think you personally have a much bigger decision to make than the zoo visit, you need to decide if seeing your friends and family is worth the worry it seems to be causing you. As everything opens up you may feel you are being compromised all of the time, and it is too big an ask to expect people to stay indefinitely so they can see you.

Do you want to continue to see people and allow them to make their own decisions about what they do?

Or do you stop seeing people now because for you the risk is too great?

I don't envy your decision, but this visit will be one of many over the summer and beyond. Flowers for you op it must be really really hard having covid to deal with when you are fighting cancer.

MindatWork · 16/07/2020 08:03

@EnjoyingTheSilence we had a v similar situation - it was around a fortnight after they reopened and they were limiting numbers going in but not going out. There were signs up reminding people about social distancing but no one was paying any attention, there were narrow bottlenecks around some of the enclosures where people were packed in like sardines and no staff managing crowds.

We would try and stand at a reasonable distance or wait our turn to see an animal and other people would just push in front and fill the gap. Lots of the enclosures were empty as well so it was a bit of a waste of money really!

firstimemamma · 16/07/2020 08:04

You can ask them to stay out of your garden for a couple of weeks but they are allowed to go to the zoo. Also if the children are "so young" then there is a very slim chance of them wearing a mask (I have a toddler and have worked with a lot of 4-5 year olds) so that isn't really anyone's fault or down to your brother not bothering.

DominaShantotto · 16/07/2020 08:04

Perfectly not unreasonable to ask them to stay away for a couple of weeks from you at your house.

Utterly unreasonable to be chucking a huff at them letting their kids live as close to a normal life as they can do. I'm taking shit from my brother for not making my kids (under the age required and with other issues making one of them exempt anyway) wear masks and letting them have days out and... shock... going to school and he gets told quite firmly to keep his nose out.

Mrsjayy · 16/07/2020 08:06

People including your family are allowed to start participating in life and taking children out for the day isn't selfish, zoos are only taking bookings only allowing so many visitors in and are doing risk assessments, if you are so concerned just don't see them for 2 weeks.

Nanalisa60 · 16/07/2020 08:12

Well if people don’t start going to zoo's there won’t be any to visit by this time next year!! They are only letting so many people in at a time and you are outside most of the time.

MrsWombat · 16/07/2020 08:13

It's the school holidays and they are going to be doing far riskier activities than going to a zoo on other days like going to the supermarket or visiting a playground which you won't know about as they are daily stuff. You can refuse to let them come into your garden, it's your choice, but stopping them come over because of this one particular trip doesn't make sense.

concernedforthefuture · 16/07/2020 08:15

We went to our large local zoo last week. With the restricted numbers, we barely came into contact with anyone else. Even 'fully booked' (based on their current maximum numbers), it was the emptiest I've ever seen it (and we normally go year-round in all weather).
The risk was minimal. Zoos will struggle to survive.

randomsabreuse · 16/07/2020 08:19

Zoos are much quieter than normal for the time of year - limited tickets, pre-booked only and strict one-way systems (which no one was breaking), limited numbers in shops and fully socially distanced seating for food. Santiser stations everywhere plus self cleaning kit for tables easily available.
All staff were wearing masks as well.

I'd much rather be in a zoo than a shop, or a local play park just now.

ginsparkles · 16/07/2020 08:20

We went to the zoo last week. I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Mostly we stayed outside, the numbers we limited so it was easy to distance in most area. They were very strict on hand hygiene and had one way systems in place. I'm pretty cautious about the whole situation but felt they had organised it well and it was easy to keep distance and it's mostly outside.

PersonaNonGarter · 16/07/2020 08:20

OP, your title says now is not the time to visit a zoo. You’ve changed to ‘visit me’ because it is clear YABU.

Now is a great time to visit a zoo - outdoors, they need the money and crowds are limited. Plus so few options are available to children for their holiday activities.

One of the worst parts about this pandemic, is the general public feeling like they should control and mandate each other’s behaviour. Leave your DB to do what he likes.

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2020 08:33

Firstly masks protect others, not the wearer. So them not wearing masks is irrelevant. The evidence for outdoor transmission, is that it's a lot less likely at a level were a high viral load will be contracted. I'm on the shielding list, but I'm going to a zoo at the end of the month. I feel safer there than I do on public transport.

But in regards to yourself, it's fine to only see them SD in your garden and they could wear masks at those times. I wouldn't fear the children, there's been ongoing studies in schools across Europe and there isn't transmission happening in Primary aged children. It's a pattern that we are seeing.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 16/07/2020 08:36

I wonder if we went to the same zoo @MindatWork because others have found where the went quieter than usual

Quartz2208 · 16/07/2020 08:38

I feel for you I do but I think you really do have to look at whether you are comfortable with garden visits from 2 children who cant SD and are likely now its the holidays they will be going out to zoos and parks.

I am happy taking my out for outdoor experiences without a mask - I have beach trips (booked in so not overcrowded) zoo and theme park experiences for the summer (again all booked in). Holiday experiences I am comfortable with balancing the risks as they are going into school in September with no SD in their year groups.

So two weeks isnt necessarily going to change anything. You need to weigh the risks up based on the above and decide if the trips can go ahead. As horrible as it is for you you cant stop them doing the above because their priority is their children

Jumanji89 · 16/07/2020 08:42

Yabu. Zoos are taking it really seriously. Much more seriously than a supermarket for example.

We went to yorkshire wildlife park last week and you were only allowed to park in every other space. Had to pre book online and it is all outdoors. Toilets were all manned with a 1 in one out policy. The risk is very minimal

FrogmellaSlob · 16/07/2020 08:44

I think you can make whatever judgement call you wish OP.

Both of us are shielding. We are both due life changing surgery. Me later this year and DH after a six month work up that can't start until November.

Because neither of us can live the way we are unless we get surgery we are going to continue to shield way into next year. We are not prepared to add any risk at all, not even the tiniest risk if it may preclude either or both of us getting surgery.

We have already told family what our situation is and we won't see them at Christmas or Easter if we still are not sorted. DH will likely be on immunosuppressants after his surgery too so that adds in a whole new layer of issues.

Make the decision and explain why and stick to it. I can't see why people would then call you unreasonable.