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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That now is not the time to visit a zoo

121 replies

aceofspades987 · 15/07/2020 23:42

NC as family are on here.

I'm shielding and have barely been out apart from quiet walks since March so am prepared to hear that I'm BU.

My brother is taking his DC to a fairly busy zoo next week. They refuse to make the DC wear masks at the moment so are unlikely to wear them when they visit the zoo.

For background, during the last month or so they have been visiting us and trying to socially distance in our garden but it's quite tricky as the DC are so young. I feel that knowing they will have been somewhere so crowded makes me not want them to come round to our garden (as I have said it is very hard to SD at the best of times)

Am I being overly cautious?

OP posts:
maddening · 15/07/2020 23:56

I think the guidance for shielders is to socially distance if you do see others and do so outside? So even if you see them within 2 weeks of their trip you should stay 2m apart and be outside. You could also wear a mask and gloves etc.

Original poster
aceofspades987 · 15/07/2020 23:58

Thank you for the responses. I appreciate that larger attractions will have new policies in place and pre booking etc. I'm also not suggesting I should try and stop my brother visiting a zoo, suppose my title is misleading.
I just wanted views on whether I was BU not wanting them in the garden after they have been and I think saying they can come after 2 weeks is fair as a few have suggested

OP posts:
Jelly0naplate · 15/07/2020 23:58

Their decision to go to the zoo.

Your decision to say please don't visit afterwards for 2 weeks.

The answer is not to say they can't go to the zoo. The kids especially need some normal activities to resume and find a sense of balance again. We've been to 2 different zoos in the last couple of weeks. Socially distanced outside in the air and reduced numbers. All fine.

Caplin · 16/07/2020 00:00

So, you are shielding YANBU to not want them visiting. Small people can’t social distance, and you are fine to say ‘don’t visit for a couple of weeks’.

However YABVU to expect them not to go to an outdoor activity supporting an enterprise which would face the prospect of euthanising its animals due to lack of funding.

alenwhavsk · 16/07/2020 00:00

If you had asked AIBU to ask brother not to visit for a couple of weeks after going to a zoo I don't think anyone would have said you were. The title suggests you though he was unreasonable to go.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2020 00:01

But what if they go to the park or a shop? What is it about the zoo that makes you worry more than a play park??

runbummyrun · 16/07/2020 00:01

Kids under 11 don't have to wear masks.

Swirlyceiling · 16/07/2020 00:02

Yabvu

A zoo is an open air (mostly) space, many are at risk of closing and need funding to stay afloat.

We went to the zoo recently and it is the safest I've felt in weeks, whilst still having an enjoyable time. It was so much easier to socially distance than anywhere I have been for a long time. They have systems in place to make this more effective.

I know you are shielding but it's lovely for his kids to experience some normality.

If you're happy with them coming to see you when they've been to the supermarket, you should most certainly not worry about the zoo.

roxfox · 16/07/2020 00:02

@Nicknacky

If you are shielding why are you having people round?

And no, my kids won’t be wearing masks if walking around a zoo.

Your kids might not have to but we might in a few weeks time the way Johnson is going with these bloody updates.
roxfox · 16/07/2020 00:04

Regardless of why you're shielding or even if you're not in that category it's personal choice! Don't have them round if you don't want. We should all be allowed to do what feels right without being judged. I probably wouldn't have them round myself.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2020 00:04

roxfox I’m in Scotland so will only be wearing them in outside venues like Zoos if Nicola says so.

PickAChew · 16/07/2020 00:05

Don't expect the zoos to still be around when you personally feel ready for them if you don't want anyone else visiting.

saraclara · 16/07/2020 00:12

The zoo will probably be the safest place they'll have been in the 14 days you make them stay away. Certainly safer than school or the shops.

I think you're being way over cautious.

BeingLonely · 16/07/2020 00:16

Why not? These places are in desperate need of visitors.

You can’t stop living your life, aslong as people are sensible and safe then we need to get back to a version of normality.

IdblowJonSnow · 16/07/2020 00:21

It's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with OP. Do they use your loo etc when they come over?
I'd imagine it would be fine but can understand you not wanting to take risks right now while you're undergoing chemo.
Yanbu.

Happydinosaur53 · 16/07/2020 00:22

You're definitely within your right to tell them you don't want them visiting but you can't expect them to stay in any longer. I'd say a zoo is pretty low risk. They're mostly outdoors and zoos are taking precautions to limit crowds. But, as I said, I understand your concerns.

madroid · 16/07/2020 00:23

You poor thing OP. Chemo is an exhausting slog. With covid to worry about on top you deserve one of these Star

Keep going @aceofspades987 and may be just don't see your db for a week (altho I suppose the risk is the same as ppl can be asymptomatic at any time).

Can you see db without dc?

Littlemeadow123 · 16/07/2020 00:25

They are not being unreasonable to visit a zoo if that's what they want to do. Technically they don't have to wear masks either if they go before the 24th.

You would not be unreasonable to ask them to wait for two weeks after the zoo trip before visiting again.

jessstan2 · 16/07/2020 00:29

I think a visit to a zoo will be fine because it won't be crowded at the moment. I don't know if toilets and cafe will be open, that is what worries me most.

You're not going anyway so why worry?

As you are shielding you are wise to keep social distance, etc, but you can't expect others to do so.

InsideOutChickenParm · 16/07/2020 00:32

@jessstan2 generally cafes seem to be open, but they're technically take away only. Which means you might find a nearby bench or can sit on the grass etc but you can't actually get table service.

One place I visited cleaned the toilets after every family group and your whole group went into the block together. The other I didn't need the toilet so don't know what they planned.

jessstan2 · 16/07/2020 01:29

That's useful information, thanks InsideOut.

baubled · 16/07/2020 07:17

We went to the zoo a couple of weeks ago, there was hand sanitisers every where and one way/que systems.

Granted it was an open space and the majority of time everyone was social distancing but there was definitely times where it wasn't happening. I think regardless of where they've been though you're not being unreasonable to ask them not to visit for a couple of weeks.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 16/07/2020 07:26

They are not being unreasonable to go. You are not being unreasonable to not want them to visit for a couple of weeks afterwards.

Chefwifelife · 16/07/2020 07:33

Hey OP. Sorry to hear about the chemo. This time in your life must be even more worrisome with Covid. I just wanted to note that I read up about children and masks as I have a 3 year old and had no idea how I would get him to keep one on. The info I have read is that children under the age of 11 aren’t expected to wear masks. You do what feels right for you though.

saraclara · 16/07/2020 07:37

You're only worried about the zoo because you know they're going, because it's an event. Day to day they do boring things that are higher risk.

Where do you think they'll be for that 14 days you're keeping them away? Isolated in their home?
I'm going to guess not. They'll go to the supermarket. Maybe a cafe. They're allowed to go into someone else's house now. By then gyms and swimming pools will be open. The kids will have been able to go to play parks. All things that to my mind are more risky than the zoo.

The zoo is virtually risk free, being outdoors. It's totally illogical keeping them out of your garden for two weeks when they've been there, when you don't keep them away when they've been living 'normally' which is probably higher risk.