To think that slim people have different habits re food and exercise

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I've been overweight most of my adult life, and find I put on weight very easily. BUT I also think I have had very unhealthy food habits - I think of food as treats, I avoid the scales, I eat when I'm not hungry, I always have the cake, emotional eating etc. I know all the things I do wrong (and that I'm sure a lot of overweight people do) but what I want to know is what do thin people do "right". i.e. what are the habits of people who are consistently a healthy weight (i.e. BMI of 20-25).

I've got some very petite friends who will do things like:

• weigh every day and take immediate action if their weight goes up by more than 5lbs;
• never accept a biscuit
• only drink one glass of wine (unless its a very special occasion when they may have two)
• never order themselves a dessert/ice cream etc (will just eat whatever their kids leave)

- exercise 5-6 days a week without fail, including Christmas Day

• never have seconds

If you're slender, and have maintained a healthy weight for years, what habits do you have that you think help you?

[quote squeekums]@LouJ85 yeah, stressed, sad, happy, i just dont eat on emotion. I drink on emotion which probably worse lol
I do relate to that hate of feeling full and making sure to avoid it. That full feeling leaves me feeling sick too, with bad memories to boot
One school camp I was forced to eat breakfast, felt like I'd eaten a whole roast chook, was literally a small bowl of cornflakes, felt so sick and threw up in front of everyone. I was humiliated[/quote]
I'm so sorry you had this awful experience.
My experience re sickness involved a family member with a chronic illness who I witnessed as a child repeatedly throwing up. It terrified me how out of control they seemed to be. I was only a little girl and I internalised this a trauma memory that made my brain believe being sick is something to be feared. That's when I began to feel very sensitive to that feeling of fullness in my tummy... strange how it stays with you. I'm 35 now and I still hate feeling "full".

This is interesting .., I saw the comments re skipping breakfast and it's honestly the last meal in the world I'd skip - if probably pass out or feel so sick I'd be unable to function.

I agree. I feel I need to stick up for breakfast-it’s the best meal of the day! I don’t skip any meals though. I don’t think it’s necessary if you’re eating mainly healthy foods. Fasting doesn’t agree with me at all.

I wouldnt say I do much of those things, I dont weigh myself for example, but I know I'm 5ft 6 and a size 8-10. I've never thought much about it but things I do I suppose l are:

• have good genetics. I do think I can eat more than a lot of people and stay the same size
• excersise 5 times a week.
• have a lot of muscle (burns more calories when sedantary)
• dont snack much (I do tend to have a few biscuits mid afternoon and something sweet in the evening) but only that on top of breakfast, lunch and dinner
• dont drink other than a glass of gin or 2 on a Friday and a Saturday

I think the attitude that you can be fat and happy or thin and joyless is quite rude. I’m not skinny but I’m slim and short and my weight hasn’t fluctuated more than half a stone in the last 10 years. I mostly eat whatever I want, I drink what I want and I certainly don’t weigh myself daily. I can go a year without weighing myself. I eat biscuits and cakes and crisps etc. However, I was brought up to eat regular healthy meals. I don’t like artificial food and processed stuff (chicken Kiev in packets etc), and I think ready meals are a waste of money and tend to be gross anyway. I haven’t eaten McDonald’s in years and had a KFC for the first time last year and it was horrible - how they can make chicken drumsticks taste so bad is beyond me! A good takeaway for me is an Indian or fish and chips or Thai. I cook in planned quantities to avoid waste - I follow the guide on the pasta/rice packet for portion size and then there are no leftovers unless I’ve deliberately made enough for two nights. I do a sport I love - sadly not right now with lockdown - but have never gone to a gym. I walk a lot and have a dog, and I sometimes have shortlived bursts of going running. If my jeans start to feel tight or don’t hang right in the mirror I knock off the snacks for a couple of weeks and I’ve been known to diet for special occasions. I would generally like to be half a stone lighter. But I think my habits are generally reasonably healthy. I drink alcohol but I almost never have fizzy soft drinks, even diet ones - I don’t like them. I like vegetables. My ideal dinner is fish, possibly Thai fish curry or grilled salmon with lots of green veg and some new potatoes. When not in lockdown I don’t tend to drink on work nights. It adds up to a week spent mostly healthy with takeaway/alcohol/snacks saved for weekends.

@PurpleDaisies

This is interesting .., I saw the comments re skipping breakfast and it's honestly the last meal in the world I'd skip - if probably pass out or feel so sick I'd be unable to function.

I agree. I feel I need to stick up for breakfast-it’s the best meal of the day! I don’t skip any meals though. I don’t think it’s necessary if you’re eating mainly healthy foods. Fasting doesn’t agree with me at all.

I wouldn't ever intentionally skip meals with the aim of weight loss. If I do skip meals it's because I'm less inclined to eat and have less of an appetite when I'm particularly stressed or tired, so would naturally be less likely to eat. If that makes sense.

Yes, you need to be disciplined if you want to maintain a healthy weight. You need to have an understanding of how many calories are in your meal, loads of people are oblivious to what they are actually eating. I use my fitness pal so I know how many caps I am eating. I agree, I think some people bury their head in sand and don't read labels or add up all the snacks, eating leftovers from plates, clearing Pate even though they are full. I agree, people who are thin do follow a different lifestyle in general and are more aware of what they are eating . Human stomach isn't that big, it doesn't need that much food!

MaryLennoxsScowl - you've described my own eating habits pretty perfectly there. Trouble is I am size 16 and obese!

People who say it's joyless eating just when you're hungry, no snacks etc - surely it is more joyless to live uncomfortably with jeans feeling tight and feeling massive. I'd rather pass on the cake than feel like that. I'm 5"7 and one summer I weighed my heaviest 12st 5lb and I hated it, felt like none of my clothes looked nice. I would much rather not overeat daily and be sensible than feel like that. I lost it in 12 weeks and now I am size 10 but still weigh 10 st 9lb .

I'm 6'2 and a size 12/14. I don't own any scales, and I eat and drink what I want - but I usually only eat if I'm actually hungry. I can go some days without eating until the evening if I'm busy, and I rarely have breakfast. Unless there's some underlying medical condition, if you're overweight you're simply eating more than you're burning.

This is a really useful thread. The themes are pretty clear:

Move your body lots
Lots of fruit and veg
Limited portions - stop when full
Low frequency of unhealthy foods
Quick action when weight starts coming on

All things I'm not great at - but will keep reading this thread for inspiration! 🙂

I think a key point to make about fasting is that it’s not about skipping meals to lose weight, it’s more about using your bodies natural systems to maximise health benefits. Constant insulin spikes through the day are not great for our bodies and these have an impact on our hormone levels as well contributing to weight gain.

There’s been a lot of research done to show the benefits of fasting, but of course it has to be done properly - waiting until you are on the verge of passing out before eating is not good for you, and it’s vital to keep yourself well hydrated during your fast - I probably drink an average of 12 large cups of water a day. Of course there are some people who should never fast - diabetics, pregnant women, etc.

This is a really useful article which contains references to medical research in the area: www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-health-benefits-of-intermittent-fasting

I’ll try to stop the evangelical stuff now 😜😂

@LouJ85 Thanks, upside, I wasn't forced to eat breakfast again, the teachers believed me
Oh wow, yeah that be scary. Sorry you had to see that, family illness is horrid, seen that first hand.

I feel I need to stick up for breakfast-it’s the best meal of the day
Dont get me wrong, I love breakfast foods. I often snack on cereal or we have bacon and eggs for tea/dinner

I've been slim all of my life (even pregnant, I was within normal BMI) and have never dieted or purposefully weighed myself.

I attribute this to:

• lucky genetics
• never having true stressors in my life (poverty, violent upbringing or in relationships)
• having good health
• not having a sweet tooth
• growing up with a food culture where takeaways, sweets, highly processed foods were unusual and never developing a taste for them
• disliking the feeling of having a full stomach
• exercise encouraged all of my life
• never followed any diet so did not screw up my metabolism
• having a "nervous" disposition so can't stand inactivity

I think the attitude that you can be fat and happy or thin and joyless is quite rude.

I agree, as a thin food monster

OTOH I think if we were talking about the same person being either of those things it makes a bit more sense, as certain people definitely seem to be predisposed to a certain shape

@Raimona

I was always slim. Never snacked between meals, no soft drinks, rarely drank alcohol at home. If I didn’t feel hungry I’d skip a meal. In the evening I often just had a sandwich or soup out of sheer laziness.

Then I moved in with OH who has always been fat. He insists on having a cooked meal every night and is horrified at the idea of just having a sandwich. He puts far too much oil and butter in his cooking. His portion sizes are ridiculous. He has a dessert after every meal, even if it’s just a biscuit. He has soft drinks every day. He eats treats and snacks like crisps and chocolate every day. Quite often he has his evening meal and still reaches for snacks shortly afterwards while watching tv. He regularly has one or two alcoholic drinks in front of the tv too.

I gained 3st from adopting his bad habits. I’m struggling to lose it because we live together and eat together, and he gets angry if I refuse his cooking because of the amount of fat he’s put in, or leave half of the portion he’s served out. He keeps offering me drinks and snacks when he has them himself. What was completely effortless is now a real struggle for me.

That is exactly why I became obese. He was deliberately sabotaging any attempt I made to get back to how I was - any mention of trying to do something about it was met with wailing about how awful I was for rejecting his cooking, a deliberate purchase of cakes, sweets, ice cream, frying everything, anything to stop me from eating something I genuinely liked and was healthier.

'I'm having poached egg and asparagus for
lunch, would you like some?' would mean that I came out of the shower to find him making a full English with him saying 'I'm making food for you'.

'I really fancy steak and salad, would you like to have chips?' - Had to have Pepper Sauce with it. Fine, I'll buy some. Start cooking, turn my back for a second and he'd tipped the entire pot into the pan over both steaks and added double cream and butter whilst turning the gas up so high, the steaks both became well, well, well done so they couldn't be eaten without sauce.

'I'm having jacket potato, tuna and salad. What do you want?' 'Oh, I'll sort something out'. Fine. Walks in with twenty quid's worth of fish and chips and a fuckton of guilting me about wasting his money when he just wanted to get me something I liked.

The moment of realisation for me was when he'd tried to get me to have another fry up and I'd refused, saying I was going to have the beans on toast that I wanted. I put the beans on the hob whilst he was eating and went to the toilet - I must have been very quiet, as he didn't hear me coming back. He'd left his food, must have run into the kitchen and was happily melting an entire packet of butter into them.

'What on Earth are you doing?'.

(jumping about three foot into the air) 'Oh, um, erm - I'm making them nice and glossy for you'. And the rage when I said 'Well, glossy or not, I'm not eating them with a whole pack of butter in them. They'll be disgusting' - he was furious and launched into a tirade about how ungrateful I was and how I was only wanting to eat less and take out a gym membership because I wanted to go and pick up more men.

Left him, lost seven stone without trying. Still fat, as actual dieting sets off ED triggers from teenage years, but I can make a free choice to actually do something about that with DP. Which I'm doing.

@Chicchicchicchiclana maybe it’s portion size then? Or maybe this is a decent way to eat to maintain but to lose you need to do more?
What do people consider normal portion size? Like, if I were making salmon fillets, I’d do about five new potatoes for me, but if I were making steak I’d do 3, because the steak is so big. And a third of the plate would be green beans/sugar-snap peas/broccoli (and I do put butter on the tatties and veg).
I tend to have multi-seed toast with butter and either honey/jam/marmite for breakfast, and I consider 2 pieces to be normal and 1 to be dieting. Peanut butter instead of jam if I’m going to have an active morning. One boiled egg and soldiers.

I make 2 sausages each for bangers and mash and DH gets more mash than me. I also count out about 3-5 tatties for mash for me and 5-7 for DH cos not having enough mash sucks.
My plates were hand me downs from when I got my first place and they’re from the 70s, I think, so pasta needs to fit on them. I do 75-100g pasta each and then give DH a slightly bigger portion (more or less pasta depending on whether there’s any garlic bread), but if I’m making spaghetti Bolognese I’ll only do 50/60g each and he again gets a bit more, because the sauce is more filling. My bolognese sauce has peppers, courgettes and mushrooms in as well as mince and I like a high sauce to pasta ratio! Rice similar depending on what’s with it.
2 biscuits with tea used to be my normal but DH’s habit of bringing the packet and eating 4 at once is catching. Once I’m sitting down with my tea and 2 biccies then getting up to fetch more is more hassle than it’s worth.

Wow mitzik that's crazy behaviour

@MitziK thank god you left! Deliberately sabotaging you by melting butter into beans is awful - probably tastes really odd too - and is seriously fucked up!

Those people that say they skip breakfast are, perhaps unintentionally, practising intermittent fasting
I think you're absolutely right. I refuse to eat breakfast at Stine 2hen it 2as considered totally unhealthy not to do so, but I could feel that it was right for me.

Its now called IF and consider a good safe weight loss/maintenance method. It is certainly what works for me.

He was deliberately sabotaging any attempt I made to get back to how I was - any mention of trying to do something about it was met with wailing about how awful I was for rejecting his cooking
I lost half a stone recently and my DH hid the scales. Not the first time he’s done this. He insists he just “tidied up” and put the scales away. Why would he do that when he can see I’m weighing myself literally every day? He also keeps insisting I look fine and don’t need to diet, despite being a size 16.

I am thin. I have no idea what I weigh as I don't own scales. I eat a lot of junk, especially chocolate and snack a lot. However I am fortunate that I love exercise. I run most days, walk everywhere and like cycling at the weekends. I also don't drink because I don't like the taste. So I guess I have those two things in my favour and they probably explain why I am not overweight. I do have an underactive thyroid but it's medicated.

I should say my granny used to plan out meals in exactly the same way I do, but she only allowed women 3 new potatoes and men 5. I don’t actually weigh the pasta as much as this sounds, I tend to usually do pasta in handfuls - two per person and one for the pan - but as you don’t know how big my hands are it’s easier to say it in grammes. My dad taught me to do this and he did one handful because his hands are bigger than mine and therefore his one for the pot was much bigger too but we were cooking for four then and now I’m cooking for two so it balances!

*if probably pass out or feel so sick I'd be unable to function"
The thing is, since I started eating breakfast again, I do get up ravenous and feel that I need the energy to function so if I'd never used to skip it, I too would think the same.

I'm just starting to get back to it gradually, waking up at 6:30 and this morning eating at 10am and I notice that the feeling of hunger comes a bit later each day. I'm confident Il ne able to get back to my first meal at 11am and feeling absolutely fine.

I also always have a much better run if I don't eat before.

@MitziK fucking hell. That's insain, glad you left.
Like I love my butter and salt but if I caught dp doing that to my food, id be looking for an alibi

What do people consider normal portion size?

Toast: I’d have one slice
Pasta: 80g
Rice/couscous: about 1/2 a cup
potatoes maybe 5-7 new potatoes and whatever mash looks equivalent to a jacket potato.
High fat foods I’d think about how much looks sensible

Pretty much else I just eat without thinking about. Obv not crisps/sweets etc, I mean main meals.