To think that slim people have different habits re food and exercise

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I've been overweight most of my adult life, and find I put on weight very easily. BUT I also think I have had very unhealthy food habits - I think of food as treats, I avoid the scales, I eat when I'm not hungry, I always have the cake, emotional eating etc. I know all the things I do wrong (and that I'm sure a lot of overweight people do) but what I want to know is what do thin people do "right". i.e. what are the habits of people who are consistently a healthy weight (i.e. BMI of 20-25).

I've got some very petite friends who will do things like:

• weigh every day and take immediate action if their weight goes up by more than 5lbs;
• never accept a biscuit
• only drink one glass of wine (unless its a very special occasion when they may have two)
• never order themselves a dessert/ice cream etc (will just eat whatever their kids leave)

- exercise 5-6 days a week without fail, including Christmas Day

• never have seconds

If you're slender, and have maintained a healthy weight for years, what habits do you have that you think help you?

Those people that say they skip breakfast are, perhaps unintentionally, practising intermittent fasting. As long as you “fast” for at least 12 hours then your body will go into “fat burning” mode and as a result it is much easier to maintain a healthy weight (providing you’re not stuffing yourself with cake in your eating window!)

I’ve been doing IF for about 6 weeks after realising I’d put on 5lbs during lockdown, plus I was still carrying excess baby weight (said “baby” is now 3!). In those 6 weeks I’ve been aiming to do 16:8 each day and as a result I’ve lost 10lbs with the aim of shifting another 7lb before I hit my target.

As I mentioned up thread, I highly recommend looking up Cynthia Thurlow’s TEDx talks on YouTube on the benefits of IF, particularly for menopausal women.

I don't drink either, I was teetotal before lockdown. Anything more than 10-12 units and I throw up (yes, I wasn't a fun "blackout drunk" at uni, just constantly vomiting in bushes!) so these days I stick to 1 or 2 drinks if I'm drinking anything at all.

Being slim is hard op! It does mean you can't eat what you want when you want. You exercise even if you don't want to. You constantly berate yourself for failure.

I go without a lot of things I like but do cook really nice sometimes rich & calorific dinners and drink wine & some chocolate.

I enjoy feeling slim and healthy and as you get older it really helps how you look & feel as well as improves health.

It is an effort and requires willpower and restraint.

Being slim is hard op! It does mean you can't eat what you want when you want. You exercise even if you don't want to. You constantly berate yourself for failure.

That might be true for you, but plenty of slim people don’t have this experience at all. It doesn’t sound like a very healthy or happy relationship with food.

@WhatWillSantaBring

I've been overweight most of my adult life, and find I put on weight very easily. BUT I also think I have had very unhealthy food habits - I think of food as treats, I avoid the scales, I eat when I'm not hungry, I always have the cake, emotional eating etc. I know all the things I do wrong (and that I'm sure a lot of overweight people do) but what I want to know is what do thin people do "right". i.e. what are the habits of people who are consistently a healthy weight (i.e. BMI of 20-25).

I've got some very petite friends who will do things like:

• weigh every day and take immediate action if their weight goes up by more than 5lbs;
• never accept a biscuit
• only drink one glass of wine (unless its a very special occasion when they may have two)
• never order themselves a dessert/ice cream etc (will just eat whatever their kids leave)

- exercise 5-6 days a week without fail, including Christmas Day

• never have seconds

If you're slender, and have maintained a healthy weight for years, what habits do you have that you think help you?

Im small, petite, size 6 AU I dont even know if my scales work aka need new battery, never use them really Im the one to accept 2 biscuits one glass of wine? nah a couple cocktails I eat dessert, sometimes more of that than the main meal. DD dont leave leftover dessert lol Exer-what? yeah nah, not my thing I rarely have seconds.

I just eat to my appetite, like if im not hungry i wont eat cos clock says lunch time. If that means i eat once a day, i eat once a day
I stop just before full, 5 minutes later, i feel full as food finally hit stomach or the connection from stomach to brain is finalized so to speak
But largely its luck and genetics for me, my mum was slim and small, didnt eat much, my metabolism is great despite the abuse lol

Cave IF has changed my life. I lost 2 stone in 4 months (bmi 27 now 21) and am keeping it off.

What works for me is I still have food I enjoy like beer and home made treacle tart but less often and only in my window. I eat meals off smaller plates. I’m now the weight I was at 25 and I’m 45 had 2 kids. I also do an hours turbo most days the results are awesome.

People who say 'they never sit down' - can you describe your lifestyle?

I work in retail so I am 'on my feet' all day and I walk to and from work ... 30 mins each way. But once I'm home, have cooked dinner, done some chores etc then I do sit down (pre Covid I might have evening meetings etc but again - sitting down). Are you all so active that you are running around all evening every night?

This morning I don't need to leave for walk until 10am so after doing breakfast, Prepping packed lunches, sticking some washing in the machine and a bit of ironing I have been sitting down mumsnetting for far too long.

I'm 5'8", a size 8, my BMI is 20. It used to be around 18.5-19 but I've built more muscle mass using a gym, so it's crept up to what I feel looks more shapely and healthy.

My size is partly genetically determined I think, as my 2 sisters (all in our 30s) are all a similar build. I eat what I like, when I like, I don't weigh out anything. I eat a lot of carbs, a lot of pasta, bread etc. I do have quite a small appetite though, so I'll eat little and often as I feel full quite quickly.

Exercise wise, I do the occasional gym class (mostly weight based rather than cardio) and I run from time to time (but it's not a major part of my life, just the odd 5k here and there when I have time).

Interesting thread. I’ve been slim my whole life and don’t do any of the things you’ve mentioned. I don’t own scales and have never dieted. I also don’t exercise although I’m a busy person and walk and move a lot. Other habits that I think help:

• I eat fairly small portions both at meal times and snacks
• I eat treat food often but always ask myself if I’m actually hungry first and will generally only have a little of whatever it is (a couple of biscuits or half a chocolate bar). If I want more later I’ll have a little more.
• I am religious about 5 a day and generally that’s mostly veg. Vegetables make up a good proportion of any meal.
• I have a positive, non critical relationship with my body and food is just food to me. No bad food, no banned food just food.
• I generally cook from scratch a lot

Hope that’s helpful.

Oh and I have a desk based job, so I'm not really on the move at work. Maybe my metabolism is just naturally fast? I'm also a worrier so I may have a lot of "nervous energy" that burns off fat!

@PurpleDaisies

Being slim is hard op! It does mean you can't eat what you want when you want. You exercise even if you don't want to. You constantly berate yourself for failure.

That might be true for you, but plenty of slim people don’t have this experience at all. It doesn’t sound like a very healthy or happy relationship with food.

Nope - not true for me either. I've never berated myself for anything I've eaten and I exercise when I fancy - in fact, I enjoy the psychological benefits of exercise more so than the physical gains. Not all slim people have this hard time you describe.

So it seems to be a real mix between those who don't consider they do anything, and those that do - though interestingly, many of those who don't consider that they do anything specific do seem to have a really healthy relationship with food.

Common themes that are coming out (and appreciate that the categories are fluid, and will differ for every person):

"Natural" factors things you probably can't change?:
not being able to eat when you're stressed/nervous worried
being very fidgety
not having a sweet tooth
genetics (though really hard to identify which are truly genetic and which are not outside the lab)

"unconscious" habits things you do naturally and without thinking, but that could be learned with a some hard work:
portion control
eating only when you're hungry
large amounts of activity (>15k steps a day)

"learned" habits things that could be adopted quite easily
Eating lots of veg
not snacking
seeing exercise as fun, not a chore
drinking rarely (even those who say that they drink, don't sound like they drink that much)
taking action when your weight creeps up (whether that's measured by a set of scales or by a pair of non-stretchy jeans ) - 5lbs sounds about the right measure for average sized women, as 5lbs is also enough to take a pair of jeans from perfect to tight (or to loose).

positive relationship with food
IF/TRE (otherwise known as skipping breakfast and not eating after dinner)

[clearly can't work the italics function - when will MN get with the 21st century and allow easy formatting!]

MsTSwift that’s great! I’m trying hard not to be too evangelical about IF as I know how annoying that can be (no saint like a reformed sinner and all that), but it’s been such a lightbulb moment for me.

I’ve never been overweight - even at my heaviest during pregnancy my BMI was still within normal ranges Although at the upper end, but Prekids I was always slim, liked to wear fitted clothes Etc. Then kids came along and it’s like I forgot how to look after myself and it dawned on me a few months ago how unhappy and disconnected I felt with myself, that somehow I was no longer ME but “just mum”.

So I’m working towards getting myself back to my prepregnancy weight (about 7lbs to go) and focusing on looking after myself a bit more. I’ve got a long overdue hair cut and colour booked next week and am looking forward to treating myself to a new wardrobe once I hit my goal weight.

So to turn into that annoying evangelist one more time, here are those links to Cynthia Thurlow’s TEDx talks on YouTube:

1. Intermittant Fasting (focussing on the benefits for women)

1. Menopause (with reference to IF being extremely beneficial)

It may or may not be relevant but I'll add that I also have significant emetophobia as a result of a childhood traumatic event. This means I probably have a lower threshold than I otherwise would have for feeling "full", because I'm hypersensitive to the sensation of fullness in my stomach and will stop eating sooner than maybe someone else would due to fear of feeling or being sick.

N.B. This is not the same as an eating disorder - I love food and I eat when and whatever I want to. I don't have any concerns about "getting fat" nor do I have body image issues - In fact, think I look great. But it's that fear of overeating to the point of feeling or being sick that makes me more restrained with the amount I'll eat at any one time, if that makes sense. I suppose it's another form of portion control, just for different reasons ...

You mention fidgity OP and if i think about it, its true for me, a toe always tapping or whatever, adjust how im sitting, very incidental movements but many of them.
I also don't drive at all so have always walked, much less these days though, but don't see it as exercise, it's just how I get about when I need.

Another notable difference between myself and my friends/family who are larger, is that I'm not a comfort eater. I instantly lose my appetite if I'm stressed or sad.
When my Dad was very unwell in hospital my mum ploughed through the cakes & biscuits to get her through the day, whereas I struggled to keep a slice of toast down

@CaveMum never eat breakfast, never hungry till lunch or later so you maybe onto something with unintended fasting

[quote squeekums]@CaveMum never eat breakfast, never hungry till lunch or later so you maybe onto something with unintended fasting[/quote]
This is interesting .., I saw the comments re skipping breakfast and it's honestly the last meal in the world I'd skip - if probably pass out or feel so sick I'd be unable to function. Having said that, skipping tea when I'm tired/stressed is something I have actually done, now I think about it. Like others have said, I don't turn to food when I'm stressed, I feel the opposite and lose all my appetite ...

LouJ85 the great thing about IF is that you can be flexible with your eating window, so you can eat breakfast and lunch and then fast from, say, 4pm to 8am instead of fasting from dinner until lunch.

@LouJ85 yeah, stressed, sad, happy, i just dont eat on emotion. I drink on emotion which probably worse lol
I do relate to that hate of feeling full and making sure to avoid it. That full feeling leaves me feeling sick too, with bad memories to boot
One school camp I was forced to eat breakfast, felt like I'd eaten a whole roast chook, was literally a small bowl of cornflakes, felt so sick and threw up in front of everyone. I was humiliated

I find if I skip breakfast I’m not hungry til lunch, but if I eat breakfast I’m hungry again by 10. I definitely eat more overall on breakfast days.

@Raimona

I was always slim. Never snacked between meals, no soft drinks, rarely drank alcohol at home. If I didn’t feel hungry I’d skip a meal. In the evening I often just had a sandwich or soup out of sheer laziness.

Then I moved in with OH who has always been fat. He insists on having a cooked meal every night and is horrified at the idea of just having a sandwich. He puts far too much oil and butter in his cooking. His portion sizes are ridiculous. He has a dessert after every meal, even if it’s just a biscuit. He has soft drinks every day. He eats treats and snacks like crisps and chocolate every day. Quite often he has his evening meal and still reaches for snacks shortly afterwards while watching tv. He regularly has one or two alcoholic drinks in front of the tv too.

I gained 3st from adopting his bad habits. I’m struggling to lose it because we live together and eat together, and he gets angry if I refuse his cooking because of the amount of fat he’s put in, or leave half of the portion he’s served out. He keeps offering me drinks and snacks when he has them himself. What was completely effortless is now a real struggle for me.

Raimona your OH getting angry because you don't want to eat what he thinks you should is not part of a healthy relationship.

I just don’t enjoy feeling massively full so I’ll stop eating even if there’s food left
I won’t have dessert unless it’s something I really really fancy and I’m still hungry

I’m not tiny but my BMI is about 22/23 and my weight only ever goes up and down between one and two kilos

This is interesting, I also don't eat breakfast, I'm not 'skipping' it I just don't feel hungry until the middle of the day. So I suppose that is unintentional fasting!