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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about my niece

80 replies

Eolhc1990 · 15/07/2020 13:33

My sister has a 12 week old baby girl. For some reason she has decided to ignore all health advice and start her on solid food at this early age. Health advice says to wait until 6 months. This baby cannot hold her head steady or sit up yet. I think the only reason she is starting her on solids is so that she will sleep for longer.
I have read about the risks of weaning too early but I don't know whether I should Express my concerns to my sister. I think she will take it as a criticism and tell me to mind my own business.
Have any of you mums weaned this early and the child has been fine?

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 15/07/2020 13:36

Is there any reason why you can't tell your sister to not be a twat and to stop harming her baby?

She's your sister, you don't have to be polite! Hmm

5foot5 · 15/07/2020 13:37

Well advice varies over time. I know currently it is 6 months but when I had my DD (now coming up to 25) it was 4 months. She did just fine, as did all the other babies whose mums I knew then.

Cabinfever10 · 15/07/2020 13:38

Yes twice, both times I was following Drs advice.
Are you certain that she isn't doing the same

LouiseTrees · 15/07/2020 13:39

That’s too early and it won’t work to get the baby to sleep through either. Does she breast feed or formula feed? Difficult to broach the subject without been told it’s none of your business. You could maybe get her to talk about the food and then if you have kids note that as kids eat more if their digestive system isn’t up to it they’ll be up at 5am and mention something about the wonder weeks app or something but it only really works if you have kids and can tell her that’s why you decided not to do it rather than passing judgment on her it’s like a oh that might happen, surely you don’t want the 5am wake ups thing.

Spied · 15/07/2020 13:41

I wouldn't care what she thought of me I'd have to speak to her about it.
I'd print all the information and leave it on a table if she refuses to listen.
You can't stand back. Imagine if, God forbid, your niece came to harm and you'd not tried to intervene.

LadyofTheManners · 15/07/2020 13:41

When I had DD (2007) we were told wean from 3 months as well as BF her
When I subsequently had DS (2008, don't ask) it was how very dare you suggest weaning a 3 months corrected child, are you stupid mum? We wean at 6 months!!!!!!! With pearl clutching horrified face for good effect

As long as she's not one of those mum's shoving a McDonald's chip in a babies gob to shut them up and is using baby rice with mill, my DD has survived the advice we got that changed within 16 months

mimi14 · 15/07/2020 13:44

LadyofTheManners I'm sorry but no you weren't... I had DS in 2005 and the advice was 6 months!

SallyWD · 15/07/2020 13:45

Have you had a chat with her about it? Advice does change. My mum fed me baby cereal and rice at 12 weeks (in the 1970s). Apparently it was normal then and all her friends did the same.

okiedokieme · 15/07/2020 13:45

Advice has changed over the years, 3 months was normal when I was born (6 weeks at one point) 4 months when dd was born. I did give dd banana and similar about 12 weeks, just a taste because she was interested.

The jury is definitely out on what is best, but it's not that unusual is what I'm saying if it's proper baby food

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/07/2020 13:47

Advice in 2004 was 6 months, vastly different to when I had my first in 1991 and it was 12 weeks.

If you must speak to her ask about what advice she had ie GP/ HV etc and don't be critical.

peakygal · 15/07/2020 13:52

On all 3 of my girls advice was 4 months

LadyofTheManners · 15/07/2020 13:57

@mimi14

LadyofTheManners I'm sorry but no you weren't... I had DS in 2005 and the advice was 6 months!
Sorry I wasn't what? Told that? We're yes I was because I remember the huge row it caused when I had DS and got bitched about it and DP had had enough of he way the sanctimonious old crow MW used to speak down to me all the time and the negative impact it was having on my MH.
greenestolives · 15/07/2020 14:05

Well up till fairly recently, it was fine to start weaning when they hit 4 months, and they all seemed to survive.

topoftheshops · 15/07/2020 14:06

Are you certain she isn't following medical advice? There are exceptions.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/07/2020 14:08

I’m sure she knows perfectly well what’s recommended now. I wouldn’t say anything, not unless you want to fall out with her.,

FWIW, weaning a lot earlier was once very common. I and all my siblings were given baby cereal from around 3 months, and we’ve all been healthy (touch wood) - and none of us has ever been fat.

I know a nephew of mine was given baby cereal at around 10 weeks - he was a very hungry baby and even 2 full bottles of formula didn’t properly satisfy him.
He’s a perfectly healthy mid-40s now, and has never been remotely overweight.

Veganforlife · 15/07/2020 14:08

My 20 year old son ,was weaned at 14 weeks on doctor’s advice as the milk was not filling him ,and doctor said he was ready ,my others were all 16 weeks give or take a week .
So I don’t know that I would say anything,my babies were big babies and needed filling up ,is this little one a big baby
Are you 100% sure she is not following medical advice ?

Veganforlife · 15/07/2020 14:11

I wonder what I would of done with my babies if advice was to wait to wean till 6 months like it is now .
I honestly think I would have had babies that constantly cried with hunger .
I find current advice bizarre and over the top.

SusieOwl4 · 15/07/2020 14:12

Yep back in 89 I put my baby on baby rice at about 12 weeks .it was a little bit early but she was much more settled. Turned out she had an undiagnosed tongue tie as well .

But she was fine .

Of course now unless there is a good reason you should go with current advice .

Veganforlife · 15/07/2020 14:18

My babies were content ,I fed them every 4 hours approx ,never waited for them to cry for their food ,as that gave them wind ..
They slept through very early,they were happy because they were content and well fed
I feel sorry for my friends baby, who is 5 months old and still just on milk ,and cry’s all the time ,my friend is exhausted because baby does not sleep properly,because she is hungry,but she is following current advice to wait till 6 months for food .
Not what I would do ,but her baby

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2020 14:19

Yes, I weaned my eldest (now 28yrs old) at 7 weeks (on baby rice mixed with milk) following advice from my GP.

Had no problems at all.

Elsewyre · 15/07/2020 14:20

This is going to be one of those "shock news: all humans not identical!!!" Threads isnt it?

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2020 14:21

Sorry! 9 weeks not 7.

darklady64 · 15/07/2020 14:28

Over the 6 years I had my three DDs the advice was different for each of them, the earliest being 12 weeks. All are now healthy strapping grown ups with no health problems. If it's something innocuous like baby rice and milk, then I wouldn't worry. if you have to raise it, then I would put it like disfordarkchocolate said above.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 15/07/2020 14:28

I doubt it will help the baby sleep through the night, but that's by the by. Advice changes over time, and depending on where you live. In some cultures they wean at just a few weeks old.

I would leave your sister to do what she thinks is best. It is not your baby.

KittyFantastico · 15/07/2020 14:30

When I had DS in 2008 the printed advice from the HV was to wait until six months where possible but that it was okay to start from 17wks as all babies develop differently.

By the time I had DD in 2010 it had changed to nothing at all before six months however she was started on mush at 14wks on medical advice and is absolutely fine for it.

When I was a baby in the early 80s the HV advised my mum to start giving me mush from 8wks as I was a big baby.

When my parents were babies in the early 60s the advice was to wean at 12wks or 12lbs, whichever the baby reached first.

Its not an ideal situation as current guidance states to wait until six months but in reality there is nothing you, the HV, or the GP can do to stop your sister from introducing solids so is it worth the strife of an argument about it?