To be worried about my niece

[Eolhc1990]

My sister has a 12 week old baby girl. For some reason she has decided to ignore all health advice and start her on solid food at this early age. Health advice says to wait until 6 months. This baby cannot hold her head steady or sit up yet. I think the only reason she is starting her on solids is so that she will sleep for longer.
I have read about the risks of weaning too early but I don't know whether I should Express my concerns to my sister. I think she will take it as a criticism and tell me to mind my own business.
Have any of you mums weaned this early and the child has been fine?

Is there any reason why you can't tell your sister to not be a twat and to stop harming her baby?

You sound ridiculous. Calm down.

I was told to wean dd at just under 4 months because of a medical problem. This was early 2009.

She is by far the better, less fussy eater of my two. DS was weaned at 6 months by baby led weaning which was very fashionable and advised in 2014 (don’t know if it is now!) and he is the fussiest item going.

Neither of them have gut problems though.

I do though and I was weaned starting at 10 weeks!

I find the attitude to this weird. Yes advice changes over time but that isnt a reason not to follow current advice. Putting babies to sleep on their backs has saved hundreds of cot deaths. Putting babies in a car seat has saved hundreds of deaths. You don't hear many people saying 'I never had a car seat and I'm fine' but you do hear a similar argument about food. And all the 'everyone I knew did it and their kids were fine' - well a lot of people have food intolerances, allergies, stomach issues like IBS etc, a lot of people are NOT fine and who knows if its connected to early weaning.

Anyway rant over, I'd probably casually mention it as in 'oh you're weaning, I thought the advice was to wait 6 months, did the doctor say it was ok now's? And if that didnt work then maybe mention to her health visiting team, maybe they could give her some advice, she might listen from a professional

There was no advice when I had my two babies in the 1970 era, but it was just common sense to know when a baby could eat more solid food, and it wasn't at 12 weeks. You should just know instinctively if a baby could have more than just milk.So no advice needed, just common sense.

Current guidance is 6 months for a reason, medical advice notwithstanding. Just because babies were given food at nine weeks or twelve weeks sometime in the 80s doesn't make it safe. I would judge anybody who is considering it now and using that to justify themselves. The most up to date research is what we should be following, because it is based on medical advice NOT what someone did decades ago.

Plenty of people are commenting on this when they obviously do not have benefit of the most up to date information on this subject. Current guidelines are that babies should have nothing but milk for the first six months. This is because weaning earlier than this increases the risks that the baby will suffer from various health problems later in life. These problems may not present themselves until the baby reaches their thirties. This doesn’t mean all babies weaned early will suffer problems, it means some of them will. So anecdotal reports from people saying “Well, I weaned my baby at 12 weeks, and they’re absolutely fine,” are meaningless. It’s a bit like saying you didn’t use a car seat for your child and they survived. Great, but others were not so lucky. Also, the size of the baby is irrelevant. Milk alone is enough for even enormous babies. If baby appears hungry, you should increase the amount of milk. The only time you should wean earlier than 6 months, is on the advice of a qualified medical practitioner. These guidelines aren’t published on a whim, but rather on years of dedicated research by experts in their field. The guidelines change, as we are able to access better information. The current guidelines are based on the most accurate scientific information available.

I’d certainly try to inform your sister of the dangers of early weaning, OP. But don’t be surprised if she ignores you. For some reason, this subject seems particularly tricky to navigate. It seems people who choose to wean early are extremely reluctant to accept the scientific information and change their approach accordingly. It’s as though it’s a personal insult to them.

I have a 5month old and have just started weaning. Baby is stable when sitting and can hold her head up, and has an interest now in food. None of those things were the case at only 12 weeks so yes I would be asking why she's doing this and suggesting it would be worth asking a health care professional.

She probably won't listen but it's better than ignoring it.

I know a nephew of mine was given baby cereal at around 10 weeks - he was a very hungry baby and even 2 full bottles of formula didn’t properly satisfy him.

This sounds like bollocks since milk usually has more calories than weaning foods. What it will do is clog a babies digestive tract as its slower to digest, meaning they might request food less frequently. It doesnt mean they are "satisfied". It might mean they are effectively constipated

The most up to date research is what we should be following, because it is based on medical advice NOT what someone did decades ago

Fair enough, but people are trying to reassure the OP, not recommending what she or her sister should do.

^^ This.

The current advice is 6 months and that’s not a random figure someone made up on a whim, it’s down to research.

If she really does think it will help her baby sleep, then perhaps discuss it from that angle - that it’s not true, that maybe the HV could help, etc. I’d also point out that babies go through growth spurts and developmental spurts and so can seem ‘unsettled’ but it’s just a stage (obviously if there are any concerns, medical advice should be sought).

So yes, speak to her, but not in an accusing way.

My experience of baby led weaning has been wholly positive. I weaned my own children at 4 months as was the advice back in the day but now I foster I wait until the babies are around six months and it has been a whole lot easier than I remember it being.

Sorry - the thread moved faster than I could type! My “This” was pointing to @Orphlids post.

She’ll be fine. My 30 year old DS started baby rice at 3 months as per the advice. I did BF alongside. DS2 was EBF until six months as the guidelines had changed but they both developed along similar lines.

Why not ask her?

Also I dont actually know how you feed solids to a 12 week old baby. Babies that young tend to just push the spoon/food out of their mouth, or gag on it & cough it out.

If you have to administer the "solids" in an essentially liquid form via thickening milk/adding things to a bottle, or sucking directly from a pouch, it's a pretty good sign baby isnt ready for solids.

I say this believing theres a HUGE range of readiness ranging from at a push 18 weeks onwards. DS was ready for proper solid food around 22w, it was easily to tell. DD, who was 6 weeks prem, was absolutely not ready till more like 30 weeks corrected. It was actually pointless trying before then and set us back as we made her quite food averse pushing her before she was ready.

I found this on the NHS site:

^The following behaviours can be mistaken by parents as signs that their baby's ready for solid foods:

chewing their fists
waking up in the night (more than usual)
wanting extra milk feeds
These are all normal behaviours for babies and not necessarily a sign that they're hungry or ready to start solid food

Starting solid foods will not make your baby any more likely to sleep through the night

Sometimes a little extra milk will help until they're ready for solid foods^

I'm sure my mum said my brother was started weaning at 5 or 6 weeks.... That was over 45 years ago but he's not had health problems because of it.

The advice changes from time to time.

Id just leave your sister to it. Don't think anyone appreciates being told what they should and shouldn't be doing with their own child.

My sisters baby was born middle of September, I was surprised to see her feeding him porridge around Xmas , I did say I thought he was rather young but she did what she wanted anyway. It doesn't seem to have done him any harm btw

No kids but theres a 21 year age gap between me and my younget sibling. It was the done thing to wean from 3/4 months when my mum had me. When my mum had my sibling recently she was told 6 months and was completely WTF?! She weaned at 3 months with them too because they were hungry and wanted to eat. It was fine

Advice was 3 months when my DC were born, OP (though I think I gave them mashed up rusk before this). They survived!

By all means speak to your sister, but prepare for her to get defensive and then for you to be ignored.

One of my ex-friends fell out with me because I suggested that letting her 12 week old baby have "bean juice" (the sauce from a tin of baked beans) wasn't a good idea because of the amount of salt/sugar/artificial stuff in it.

6 months of exclusively milk has been the standard for several years now, I know my health visitor was giving that advice for DD1 who is now 13 so there's no excuse except ignorance and bloodymindedness to do this unless under medical advice.

people take the guidelines so matter of fact, I recently know of someone who had a 'party' for babies who turned 6 months the same week so they could all try food first time together. In my opinion that not setting them up for a health relationship with eating\food ect.
My second child was an unsettled baby the Dr wouldnt hear of anything other than giving him food at 4 months. I waited until about 5.
I understand the guidelines are start solids from 4 months best to breastfeed only until 6 months.
whatever the mum is happy with I would not tell her what to do.

I think you need to keep your nose out, I know it’s hard but it’s not your child and not your choice when she decides to wean. My step daughter did the same and it made me wince a little seeing her feed a tiny baby a jar of food but then again when I had my DD’s the advice was to wean from 4 months, dd1 was given baby rice from 3 months after advice from the health visitor, advice has now changed but it is only advice.

People are sharing what they did or their parents did or what advice wa syeats ago as reassurance that the baby in question won't spontaneously combust just because she licked a bit of baby rice.

In all honesty though even if the OP says something there isn't really any point in causing an argument because there is nothing anyone can do to stop the parent giving their child solids.

@mimi14

LadyofTheManners I'm sorry but no you weren't... I had DS in 2005 and the advice was 6 months!

Ditto for us here too.

yeah I also dont get all the "well in MY day i did this and no harm!" well the advice is updated based on current research and evidence. just because you can wean a child before the recommended age doesnt necessarily mean you should, especially if its not so the baby should sleep through or longer which they're not actually designed to do at such a young age anyway.

very selfish reason in my opinion and shouldnt be done before atleast 4 months unless you've specifically been advised by a medical professional. their digestive systems are not mature enough before this age.