It’s frigging BREAD!!!

[MrsA2015]

I have a friend that refers to sliced bread as “toast” it’s starting to REALLY get on my nerves. Born and bred in England with absolutely no issues with the English language but can not distinguish between sliced bread and the end result of it being toasted being TWO DIFFERENT BLOODY THINGS.

“I had two toasts for breakfast”
“I have cheese toasts” (instead of cheese sandwiches).

Aaaaaaaaaarghhhh ffs , no amount of addressing it has made a difference in 15 poxy years.

I want toasted toast now with plenty of butter! Even raw toast and butter would be fine.

I think the daily SM photos and commentaries on her every meal would annoy me even more than calling slices of bread 'toasts'.

She sounds to me like she's two coupons short of a pop-up raw-toast cooker.

I want toasted toast now with plenty of butter!

Withnail, is that you?!

My mother calls the kitchen the working kitchen. Also my father calls the sink the washing basin. 😂

My 18 month old does this! 'mmm toast' , erm it's a sandwich/bagel/crumpet/pitta. He also points to the breadbin and says oooh toast peees , he does really love toast though and I'm hoping he can differentiate between bread products by adulthood

whatg does she call a cheese on toast then

Send her a photo of a slice of bread and a photo of a slice of toast and ask her to name each photo!

@pigsDOfly - the irritation level of 'pair of bras' makes me want to cry 😭

Raw toast!! Thank you, I've had a stressful day and this has unexpectedly cheered me up!

OP I do sympathise, I have a friend who says "can you borrow me" instead of "can you lend me" and it makes my teeth itch 😂

@Periodprob, sounds like you need this

Americans do this. My Granny when in a restaurant or whatever and asking a male staff member for the toilets used to say where's the wash hand basin! As she was too embarrassed to say toilet in front of a man!

I actually think the 'bathroom' euphemism sounds worse. Asking where the toilet is suggests that you need to go and complete one of two mundane and anticipable routine tasks (or both - knock yourself out!) that everybody naturally needs to do several times a day, and even more so after eating and drinking.

Whereas asking for a 'bathroom' whilst out and about in the day/evening - especially somewhere like a restaurant that isn't generally associated with full body washing - would suggest to me that you've, erm, disgraced yourself in public, to the extent that nothing short of a complete head-to-toe cleansing will suffice

My mother always says Heig-th instead of height! It honestly makes me want to poke her, so I understand your frustration!

the irritation level of 'pair of bras' makes me want to cry

Fashionistas do the exact opposite, though - a claret trouser, a nude heel, an opaque tight. To be fair 'a pair of bras' does sound like it should be logical still funny though.

Not gonna lie, that is pretty cute

@bikerunski they are called 'batches' in Coventry!

Oh my god, I love that bread roll map with every fibre of my being!!!

I live in the US. When I worked in California I found that the ladies' rooms in the factory had couches in them. There was some kind of legal requirement, I guess so females could lie down when suffering from 'womens' troubles'. I had no desire to lie on a plastic covered couch next to the bathroom stalls thank you very much, and nobody else seemed to either. The one in corporate was alright though, leather, in it's own purple alcove. The couch requirement would explain them being called restrooms. I don't know what the men had in their restrooms but the VP of Marketing had a jacuzzi in a room behind his office that he used to retreat to in the afternoons.

OP I need to know what your friends defense was when you challenged/corrected her on this. Did she just blink vacantly and carry on as though you hadn't spoken out give a long convoluted but ultimately sort-of-logical defense of the indefensible?

My Mum will stick an H at the beginning of words beginning with a vowel which is not only irritating but embarrassing when she does it to names (ie Anna = Hannah). She used to call my ex neighbour H-Adrian no matter how many times I corrected her

Has she heard the saying "best thing since sliced bread"? @MrsA2015

On a tangential bread-related point...Dry bread to me means stale bread. But to my MIL it is fresh bread that isn't buttered. I only found this out when she accused me of giving the dc 'dry bread' with their soup. I was outraged that she thought I was feeding them out of date food. She just meant that I hadn't buttered it first.

Please tell me I'm right and she's wrong.

I have a friend who does this. It drives me up the wall. I used to think she thought it was cute or made her feel special having her special words. She does other mispronunciations and insists on saying piss-arre to rhyme with bizarre instead of pizza

My friends mum does this with some words and pronounces pizza pit-zar

Oh my gosh I say bathroom instead of toilet - I had no idea this was annoying 😬 I hate ‘can you borrow me a’ and had no idea I was part of the problem...

My friends mum does this with some words and pronounces pizza pit-zar

Is she a Vengaboy?