Why are people so competitive over what their kids eat?

[Fuebomba0]

Like eating a kids meal at a restaurant isn't that bad , just don't see why a lot of people are competitive over what their kids eat. Like wow your 5 year old DS eats seafood paella 👏👏

@CostaCosta french children’s menus are awful. All ‘steak hache’ and chips. Basically an unappetising plate of mincemeat with chips. It’s everywhere and so kids meals on holidays in France force you to go for something else.

It's the competitive "sugar police" that annoy me. Ok we know sugar and sugary foods/drinks aren't great to eat on a daily
basis but stop making a fuss about how much sugar there is and that your child doesn't like these things when it's obvious they do!
As an aside with kids meals a lot of places do need to branch out beyond the fish fingers/sausage/chicken nuggets for kids. Yes, a lot of kids like them but a lot also like smaller versions of the normal menu.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing your cooking is probably much better than mine!

[quote ambereeree]@BeingATwatItsABingThing your cooking is probably much better than mine![/quote]
I doubt that very much!

Kids liking a wide and poncey varied diet equals good parenting, so they have to boast about it to show off how great they are. Most of the time it’s just down to luck. Same with sleeping through the night, walking, reading etc.

I’ve got twins weened on lovingly hand made organic Annabel Karmel recipes. One will eat anything except tomatoes, the other Would exist on cocktail sausages and biscuits given half a chance.

DC1 is two and won't eat cake, most biscuits or chocolate. Only eats yoghurt or fruit for dessert.

I probably should be smug about it but it's actually a massive pain in the arse when e.g. they won't touch their own birthday cake that granny made specially.

It's just another way for some people to show they're better parents than others. The thread yesterday where the OP invited people to slate her SIL for having kids who didn't like spicy food had them creaming their knickers with excitement at being able to boast about what exotic foods Tarquin and Tabitha's have been eating since day dot. So funny

Because people think it shows what a great parent they are and what a terrible parent you are. DD is fairly fussy, she wasn’t when she was younger, it got worse and now it’s slightly better. We realise routine is important to children, to me food is a bit like that for many, they get what they know and it makes them feel secure. Not all children want to be challenged all the time this way.
I was also a fussy child, I liked eating the same meals over and over. Now I don’t!
I know several families where one child eats anything and another nothing. It’s very much luck.

My eldest has always eaten everything - seafood, hot curries, all the veg - to the extent that a few friends asked me for tips to get their kids to eat better.
They stopped asking after I had DC2 . She almost exclusively likes beige food. Both kids were exposed to the same wide range of foods throughout. It's just luck.

I am currently in hospital with my girl. She won't eat the hospital food. Won't eat a meal deal sandwich from the in hospital M +S. Nurses were getting worried. Husband bought in a McDonald's for her. She nurses were very pleased. I am not being sarcastic. They were pleased she ATE.

Theres nothing wring with chips.

But theres no way I could go and have a nice meal out in a restaurant and give my child nuggets and chips. That would just feel off to me. Especially as given its "kids" food it will be the cheap shit and not nice home made ones. You couldn't do the whole meal for 6.95 including drink and an ice cream if it wasn't the cheap crap.

I do gojng as a nation we assume kids only eat beige stuff you wouldn't get that option in many countries abroad, hence why it possibly feels an achievement to some that their kids can be fed without a deep fat fryer.

But larenting in general has become a competition including never letting a baby or child cry like ever which is having negative affects in some incidences.

But we are all just trying our best arent we. Some have kids that cooperate better than others. No-one is gonna get everything right . Everyone has something that they struggle with.

I'd rather have a kid who lived off sausages than one who needed me to lie with them fir hours every night fir instance. Others don't care if they do that and would focus on learning 2 languages instead.

Swings and roundabouts surely?

This drives me fucking insane people ‘bragging’ that their toddler can eat Gordon Ramsey style meals. Sorry Susan’s but my toddler throws anything that’s not beige at me the walls the floor and anyone/thing in sight. She’s happy, has enough energy to run a mock of me from 6am until way past 9pm if I allow it and has so far hit all milestones. It really doesn’t fucking matter, parenting is hard enough without having to compete about every aspect of it!

Well, I have a child who doesn't like chocolate. (People have questioned if he is in fact my child and if it wasn't for the unruly head of curls matching my own, I'd think they were right).

People see it as they are amazing parents because they have managed to beat any sense of independent thought about food choices out of their DC with their far superior cooking skills.

My youngest (incidentally the one who doesn't like chocolate) was a real food refuser when he was younger. People say that a hungry child won't let themselves starve. They have clearly never known a child like him. He's the more adventurous of the two now. My eldest was always very adventurous around food and has started to become fussier as he's gotten older.

Fussy eating in adults is a lot less desirable and I do think it is a class thing as well. My DH is a fussy eater still now. I do blame his parents, but it's because they're cooking is absolutely vile.

@doskant

“Oh, I don’t do competitive parenting.”

That usually shuts them up.

My little freak will not eat any form of potato.

I really don't know where I went wrong.

My little freak will not eat any form of potato

Potatoes are definitely overrated

Edible only if cooked in fat which is hardly that healthy or you Jane to wait 2 hours for it and hope there's some cheese left in the fridge.

Mash is the work of the devil.

Have to.

No.idea who jane is

People essentially feed their children fish fingers or chicken nuggets but call it seafood paella or chicken cordon bleu
It's the same ingredients just presented in a different way.

Because fussy eaters are seen, as the name implies, fussy, undesirable and unpleasant.

I think we all start with good intentions with our kids diets... I remember my first very close friend to have kids (a number of years before I did)... To start with she was all "my kids will only eat organic whole foods!" She really laid it on thick.

But by the time the kid was 2 and a half, she was on the munch-bunch yogs, cheese strings and packets of wotsits. Just like everyone else! It really makes me chuckle, as now her 2 kids seem to eat a lot more junk than any of my other mum-mates kids.

I think it's hard to know the truth of what a lot of kids eat out of the public eye. Yeah, you SAY your kid eats the seafood paella... but... really? I'm pretty sure they'd prefer a plate of nuggets and chips. Because they're kids, and not Gordon Ramsay.

Totally agree. I think part of it is to show your child is not fussy and you're such a good parent. But as a parent of one child who eats pretty much everything and is currently desperate to try the Marcus Waring kids tasting menu and another child who has a very limited diet and hates trying new things... I am not convinced it has anything to do with parenting!

Also:

In my friendship group most children actually do like to eat some fruits and vegetables, so if they give them these all the time they will eat a healthy diet. I think the problem is that the list of dislikes is still quite long, but as long as you don't focus on that, it doesn't make it impossible to eat healthy, it's just the same things every week.

THIS. DD has a limited diet. Drives me crazy. But, she's healthy as a horse because she does eat most fruit, a limited but sufficient range of vegetables (peas, broccoli, avocado, sweetcorn, cucumber, cauliflower, carrots - as long as they are all plain!), cheese/yoghurt/milk, pasta and the odd potato and she will eat plain meat (grilled chop/chicken breast). The biggest issue is that preparing her these different meals can be tedious and we have a bad habit of letting her eat pasta pesto* too often unless I put a lot of effort in.

*I am also going back to making my own pesto so that at least the pesto she eats is not full of additives etc. I really miss the local Italian deli that used to be nearby that sold homemade fresh pesto....!

But theres no way I could go and have a nice meal out in a restaurant and give my child nuggets and chips. That would just feel off to me.

That depends. When I go to a restaurant, I order what I want to eat. When we take DD to a restaurant, we let her choose what she wants to eat. If she chooses sausages and chips over a salmon risotto, that’s fine. It’s meant to be a treat for everyone.

@formerbabe

Food is a class issue in this country

Yes, it definitely is.

I am not British and I still don’t understand the sneering attitude so many people towards eating a healthy, varied diet.

An yes, it is true that most small children prefer quite plain food. But plain doesn’t need to be processed crap.

I think its a couple of things:

1. Neurosis. Parenting is scary so you concentrate on small things you can control and then congratulate yourself on controlling them. What you put on your kids plate is a thing you can control.
2. Individualism. Ever notice the inverse relationship between being strict on behaviour and being strict on food? Thats the difference between collectivism and individualism right there.
3. Snobbery.

My DS eats mostly beige food and always has. Turns out its sensory issues due to autism. Im so gald I never made an issue of it.

I have fairly fussy eaters myself, but I can't help but think that if kids never learnt to eat beige stuff, they wouldn't reject non-beige stuff. I mean - presumably before the existence of toddler foods, chicken nuggets etc, children just ate... food. I guess many would still reject lot of foods though.

Dd1 ate fruit and mainly veg she loves veg more than fruit ds1 spices all the way ds2 started off on veg and potatoes now wont touch potatoes (to the degree Sunday lunch is chicken RICE and gravy)

All three raised by me