Has Anyone Regretted Deferring A Reception Place?

[cheshirecat777]

Just that really. Anyone deferred a reception place and later regretted it? Specifically where they deferered entry to the next years reception class and later regretted it? Not talking about deferring and then needing to enter yr1 nor about starting reception yr part time or later in the yr as in this case they are not as relevant

Its not essential for us but DC has late summer birthday and was slightly prem so would if born at term have been in the following yr.

It makes some sense to defer but I wonder do they catch up in juniors anyway and then get bored and so on. I think decisions to defer at reception are fairly straight forward but i am now thinking about the rest of the school career and whether deferral can perhaps hold children back. as they progress through school

I have posted on a similar subject eg peoples opinions on deferral in my circumstances recently so thanks to all that gave opinions now

This is a slightly different issue in that i am asking for any longer term experiences as children move through the school system.

Anyone?

My DD is just leaving year 2, maybe not as far ahead as you're wanting a view from but I don't regret it for a second was the best decision for her. Same as your child she was due middle of September and arrived 4 weeks early so to me she was supposed to be in the year group she's now in anyway.

thanks TellerTueaday that's helpful 👍

I have a year 4 ‘should’ be year 5 and don’t regret it at all. She’s still slightly small size wise for the class, about middle academically and very happy with her friends. My only worry is that she will hit puberty earlier than others, but can deal with that when it happens I hope.

I don’t think it works for all kids, but has really helped my shy and not so confident DD.

If they're out of age it might affect tournament eligibility for some sports teams if the age cut off is academic years.

If they're very confident consider how well being the oldest would suit them. My August born is ridiculously confident so would not suit being the oldest in the year - she's bossy as it is. However emotional maturity not so good, some impressive tantrums. I'm kind of glad we moved so she's effectively repeating the year but more or less in the middle of the age cohort! So I'm on the fence as I would have preferred her to be older when she started but not the oldest in the year! She's also very confident physically, won a couple of races in the nursery sports day despite being the youngest!

It's a tough decision to make and probably most based on instinct so you'll always be second guessing!

I have one who is just finishing Y1 - but would normally be in Y2. Very late August birthday and it’s been the very best thing we could have done. No regrets at all. The extra year in nursery made a colossal difference and she has enjoyed and been ready for school all along.

She doesn’t stick out at all in her year group, indeed she is only 6 days older than the next oldest child in the class.

Our school had been very supportive but DD was their first Summer born CSA start and they have been very pleased how well it’s worked out.

Just worth checking whether the local authority/academy chain/school actually allow deferrals. MANY don't. And those that do would insist that the child go straight into Year 1 with their age group.

I don't know any primary state schools that would allow you to join Reception a year late, without the input of a educational psychologist/social worker/doctor recommendation.

Hi Thanks All very interesting

yes we have checked and its def deferral from a reception place in 2020 to a reception place in 2021 then staying with the 2021 cohort

Like i say i am just wondering if any parents have deferred and when they got to juniors felt it was not all that beneficial as child hot older.

What will the child think when he could have left school but has to stay another year? What if they aren't academic and just leave anyway as soon as they can?

• got older not hot older - sorry😄

Yes ruth see what you are saying

Also what if they are quite clever and then catch up quite early on in their school life etc

We deferred reception by a year I’m for our summer born son. Best decision we could have made for him, no regrets at all.

If your gut says he won’t be ready, then go for it. Ask how many people didn’t defend but wish they could have. I’m guessing there are a lot more of those.

MintyMabel - Great Point

Anecdotal, but I work in Early Years, and no-one ever regrets deferring their child, but many regret NOT doing so.

There has to be a cut-off, but realistically there should be flexibility, and I totally support those whose babies were premature wanting to defer :-)

There is currently an early July born child in my class who would have been fine in the year above, and my personal feeling is that they should have been. They may have been one of the lower ability children in the correct year, but then so are others who are catered for perfectly well.

Hi OP, I’m a reception teacher. I honestly wish more people knew about the deferral option as I have seen a few children in my time and thought that with an extra year in foundation they could really blossom. Of course this isn’t applicable to every summer born, I’m talking about maybe 5 children and I’ve been teaching for nearly a decade.

Before you decide to defer though, find out what happens when you get to high school. When you apply to high school you need to make sure that they will let you go into year 7 and don’t make you go straight into year 8. I think you can speak to your local authority to see how they manage this.

Good luck OP 😊.

It’s very common in Scotland - 50% of the children who are eligible are deferred. I’ve never met a parent or child who regrets it and it’s not an issue for teachers.

We deferred our now 14 year old and I’m so glad we did. He has some additional needs and benefits from not being the youngest.

Also the boys are so immature at this age compared with the girls.

As a reception teacher I would say obviously it depends on the child.
What is your child able to do now? What is their personality like? Do they like to stay on task and sit for a while.
What is your gut instinct saying?

It's wonderful that you have the choice and are looking for advice.

I wish I had deferred DS so he would have been 5 and a half not 4 and a half when he went. He was the youngest in his class all through primary, and all through secondary and didn’t settle. Always emotionally behind the others and tbh, still is. He’s 18 now but had only just turned 17 when he finished 6th year and even with a year “out” there is no way he is ready for uni or independence. He was very bright so I think this masked his emotional immaturity and we had a tough old ride throughout the school years.

dementedma so sorry to hear that anecdotally a lot do say boys suffer more its a shame more options are not available and that it ends in an all or nothing type decision with no later flexibility.

Your son sounds v bright - the maturity will come - and then he will be v bright and v mature 👍

I don’t want to poo poo your idea.
I went to school with a boy who was a year older than us, he was mega brainy, top set for everything. Really sporty, really social. When we got to secondary he wasn’t allowed to participate in any extra curricular cross school stuff because he was the wrong age. He then got depression in year eight and had loads of time off school (months) then started our year nine, as a year ten. (Back to what would’ve been his original year) he was okay in the end. But the social aspect really messed him up.

I had a June baby and an August baby. I didn't defer either of my sons, my oldest (June born) was really behind his peers at first but he soon caught up. My August born son was ready to go. He turned 4 and then his best friend turned 5 10 days later. Can't see no difference in them tbh.

I think it really depends on the reason for deferral. Mine is a summer born but is very ready for school, enjoys making friends with older children etc and deferral would never have been right for us. There was part of me that was tempted to give her an advantage but given her personality it was never really an option. However, one child in her pre/school group has deferred. He was clearly behind the others in terms of emotional maturity, speech etc and it seems like absolutely the right thing for him. His was quite a clear cut case and I believe the nursery recommended deferral. There are a few other August babies who are borderline- one girl and one boy. I think for their parents, the decision would have been more of a dilemma. They are going this year but for one of them, I think they might regret not deferring in all honesty. Time will tell I guess.

Yes Boomclaps this was the type of scenario i wondered about

it makes v good sense to defer now as DC birthday is vv end of august and they are premature so would if born on due date been in yr below. But I wonder would those things be cancelled out as they get older.

My DC would only be a day or two younger than any september child in the deferred yr so unlikely to be way off in terms of hitting puberty any earlier etc

am not sure about sports again it looks like the criteria for age range hasnt kept up with the needs of premature children etc