Has Anyone Regretted Deferring A Reception Place?

[cheshirecat777]

Just that really. Anyone deferred a reception place and later regretted it? Specifically where they deferered entry to the next years reception class and later regretted it? Not talking about deferring and then needing to enter yr1 nor about starting reception yr part time or later in the yr as in this case they are not as relevant

Its not essential for us but DC has late summer birthday and was slightly prem so would if born at term have been in the following yr.

It makes some sense to defer but I wonder do they catch up in juniors anyway and then get bored and so on. I think decisions to defer at reception are fairly straight forward but i am now thinking about the rest of the school career and whether deferral can perhaps hold children back. as they progress through school

I have posted on a similar subject eg peoples opinions on deferral in my circumstances recently so thanks to all that gave opinions now

This is a slightly different issue in that i am asking for any longer term experiences as children move through the school system.

Yes go ahead and defer. I deferred my April born with additional needs. It was the right decision then, he wasn't ready to start Reception with his age cohort. As he progressed through Reception he was clearly top of the class, working ahead of everyone else, was starting on some Year 2 work in Year 1, and thanks to school being closed we have moved on very quickly at home. So much so that in September he is going up to his correct age cohort! He has progressed fantastically, both in terms of academics and maturity. He still has additional needs for which he gets support, but he is too advanced to stay out of year group now. My point is, deferring if easier than trying to get a child to repeat a year. But if you end up feeling like deferring was not the right choice, your child has the automatic right to join their correct age cohort... Good luck, and do whatever you instinctively feel is right for your own child!

Thats interesting sailingblue

yes i agree if DC was just an Aug birthday its the additional prematurity issue that is concerning me (due early oct) but the flip side is they will maybe grow out of these issues but its hard to know when!!

On the sports issue mentioned previously i wonder why the boy wasnt allowed to just play sport in the yr above? its all v expensive

sorry not expensive i meant inflexible

onceuponatimein geneva

that would be a good solution for us

@zingally

Just worth checking whether the local authority/academy chain/school actually allow deferrals. MANY don't. And those that do would insist that the child go straight into Year 1 with their age group.

I don't know any primary state schools that would allow you to join Reception a year late, without the input of a educational psychologist/social worker/doctor recommendation.

This is illegal. Are you in the UK? Legally in the UK the admissions authority can not have a blanket policy such as what you are describing. It's unlawful.

Op, I am decelerating my very late August boy. He should be starting Reception in September but will be having another year at preschool. All approved by the Academy of my chosen school. 100% the best decision for him!

Oh also my son has no additional needs and was not premature. You don't see a reason. Why do so many people aim to have an autumn baby? Because statistically they do better! Flip it and ask a September born child's parent if they would agree to their child starting school a year early. The majority will say no as it is not in their best interests.

I have a friend who is August born and started with her correct year, but then ended up repeating year 7 because she was always just a bit young and struggled with the work. She isn't stupid (has 2 degrees now) but is dyslexic. She went to private school although not an academically selective one.
Personally I think it depends on the emotional maturity and confidence of the child more than how clever they are. Do they get on well with friends their own age?

I would say if you feel your child needs another year, follow your instincts.

I have a 30th August baby. I knew he would struggle at school he just was not ready.
He would of greatly benefited from a deferred place. It only became an option the year after he started.

Home schooling the last few months has only confirmed my fears. If I do year four work he has no issues. However the year five work is very hit and miss and he gets frustrated. He is definitely behind for his year group but would be a perfect fit year below. He does have a dyslexia diagnosis, however this is not the issue the understanding is not there yet and he seems young compared to some of his friends.

However friends who are teachers have assured me this gap will be less noticeable in secondary. So who knows what is best but as a parent I think our instincts are generally spot on.
Hope all goes well whichever decision you make.

cheshirecat777 You’ll know your child best. The things to me that mark the two other August borns as being more borderline were emotional maturity. One is often very tearful and clingy compared to the others, struggles without a nap but academically able so would probably catch up. The other (that probably would have benefited from deferral) has had lots of issues with challenging behaviour and just seems to fit in more with the group below than his peer group. It is so tough on some of them when the autumn born girls seem to be writing beautifully, colouring in the lines etc and some of the August borns just can’t seem to sit still for 30 seconds. It’s not really a level playing field at all.

OP I can't really comment as our son hasn't started yet - but we're in the same boat as you (August birthday, due early October). We have just had confirmation from the council that he can start Reception next year instead which is what we wanted having done lots of research into outcomes. The Covid situation underlines it for us as he hasn't been at nursery since March and I'm really hoping he'll get to do a bit more preschool before he goes.

@CliveIsAlive, only a few years ago schools did not have to accept deferrals and in fact, if a school was over subscribed they weren’t allowed to without a Statement of SEN that specified the need as it would have been ‘taking the place from a child of the correct age.’ So I think some people just have slightly dated knowledge. My own DS has ASD and I would have loved for him to have been able to properly defer without being forced to catch back up later on in school.

I’d go for it OP. I’ve never heard of anyone regretting it. You know your DC’s character. Will they be bored, are they particularly bright and advanced?

Not quite what you were asking for, but I would have deferred by summer born boy. It would have totally been the right decision at the time. He was not ready for school. He wasn't ready really until summer term in year 1.
If I'd been able to defer until then it would have been a better start to school...

However now he's going into year 9 I can see it would have been the wrong decision for him long term, and would have been the wrong decision from about year 4/5.

I'm glad I didn't have the option as I would have chosen the wrong one for him.

oliveisalive - sorry think i came across wrong its not that i dont see a reason i very much do and am glad you have been able to defer your son

the issue i am struggling with is longer term consequences and whether some of the very real disadvantages of being youngest start to erode over time and what happens then and has anyone got any experiences to share of what happens a bit later on in school life.

i fully respect everyone's right to defer if they believe it is right for their child

i have older DC and anecdotally i noticed that those born in sept generally did better at sport for instance many appeared more self assured. My son is v good at sport and in excels in one particular sport but he is a June birthday. He was selected to play in the A team (which was nigh on impossible to get a place in) and in yr 1-3 it was very obvious who the autumn birthday were and they were the vast majority of the team but by yr 4 not much difference at all in terms of physique or confidence. This means nothing really other than in this case some evening out /taking over has occurred in terms of the pecking order between youngest and oldest.

I really wish it had been an option when my August born, soon-to-be Year 10 was born. I still wish it now. The starting school at reception & Secondary was tough, he wasn't ready emotionally. His school life would have been much easier for him & he would have done better academically. He would disagree and say he would be bored. If I had the choice, I'd have moved him to a in-school pre-school for the preceding year, he would have been frustrated at nursery by then.

I didn’t think you could send them to be in a reception class the following September?
I though you’d have to start them in year 1. 🤔

Check things like:
Sports eligibility. Age group sports teams are based on date of birth, not school year.
11+ or grammar tests - will they be allowed to sit with academic cohort or is eligibility dependent on date of birth?
Long term deferral impact- will secondary allow them to stay in deferred year.

I have a friend who's son struggles academically. They chose to defer him. It seemed like the right move as it bought him an extra year to start "ahead" in reception. But by year 2 it didnt make a difference - the bright children had caught up and accelerated rapidly and he quickly sunk to the lower end of the class regardless of being older. It did no good for his confidence as he didnt even have the fact that he was young in the class as a reason for why he was finding the work difficult.

DD is a late august birthday and prem sp should have been in the year below. Shes so IUGR so will be very tiny compared to others. Atm she is developmentally on track so I wouldnt expect to defer her. I think the stronger reasons to defer are the emotional and social maturity, rather than the academic side, as the slower learners tend to fall behind whenever they start.

At the end of the day, there has to be a cut off somewhere. If the summer borns all start deferring, you will then get spring born children being the youngest in the year and parents saying that they are disadvantaged... where does it end? A class needs to cover a 12m age range, at age 4-5 the gaps may be apparent but unavoidable.

Really wish we’d deferred! Thought it would be stigmatising for our son to be in the year below. Very much regret it now as he’s four years into school and really struggling, academically and emotionally. Every time we think he’s moved on a little everyone else has jumped on also so closing the gap feels overwhelming. In retrospect reaching an age milestone before your classmates doesn’t feel half as stigmatising as being left behind by them. If I could turn the clocks back I’d defer.

If you were to move to a grammar school area, or decided you wanted to use a selective Independent school, your DC would need to apply with their cohort, so you need to be sure that isn't going to end up being the case.

I have an August born DS. He had a hard time with his writing in Y1/2- he just wasn't physically ready to write as much as some of the older children. At the time I had some regrets about not deferring him (non-selective prep, so we could have). Now however (Y5), I can't imagine him being in the year below. He's socially totally on a par with his year group, if anything one of the mature ones, and the Y4s seem very young compared to him and his friends. He's also nearly the tallest in Y5 and would look like a bit of a freak in Y4. Does fine academically, and improving all the time.

callardandbowser

yes it would def be a defered into a reception place then staying in the deferrd cohort for rest of school career including secondary. I think this is now the law but seems to be more or less leniently by different LA's

we appreciate it may knock out grammar school but thats fine

I have a end of August boy who was a little early (38 weeks) so could quite easily have been a September baby. He went into school as normal and has had no problems with it at all. His speech, vocabulary, understanding and maturity/resilience were all good before he started so we weren’t too concerned. He’ll start Year 2 in September and has just had an excellent report. Our only concern is that he is quite small which may impact on sports/bullying.

DS1, end of August birthday, was born a month prem so should have been in the year below.

He’s now 14.
Deferring for a year wasn’t an option when he started school, but I wish it had been because he’d have been so much happier in the year below. He’s clever so he doesn’t struggle academically, but socially he’s immature and it’s been an issue right from day 1 when the other kids told him his Thomas the Tank Engine lunch bag was babyish.

Interestingly I fought to try and get him deferred by a year, even wrote to my MP, but was told that the system as it was was just fine. Just a couple of years later the studies confirmed....guess what... that summer born boys struggle. Who knew!?? If only they listened to parents.

I think the thing to remember is it might not be a magic bullet. There are children who struggle academically in every cohort, including September borns. There are children who excel academically, including august borns. My relative is august born and attended school when deferral was not an option. He thrived and went to a top university. A friend had an October birthday, is dyslexic and struggled throughout. Its not always about age at starting, it can be about a child's processing speed/pace of learning. It can help, it may not.

issue right from day 1 when the other kids told him his Thomas the Tank Engine lunch bag was babyish.

That's an issue with the school permitting bullying.
What's wrong with Thomas the tank engine? I have a sept birthday and I had a Thomas the tank engine lunch box on starting school in 1990 :)

the studies confirmed....guess what... that summer born boys struggle

Ok,so let's assume all the kids with birthdays June to aug defer, and you end up with academic cohorts effectively being June-may birthdays.

April/may birthdays become the youngest in year. What happens when they then seem to struggle?