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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say if they mandate mask wearing they need to ensure some way for the exempt from masks to prove it?

743 replies

BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 13:28

I am not anti-masks at all, I can see they are often very useful tools in infection control when used correctly (though it doesn’t seem they are by many people) but as someone ‘officially exempt’ from wearing them - in my case due to asthma - I’m increasingly panicked at the thought they’ll be made mandatory in shops and other places.

I have been able to avoid public transport thankfully due to furlough/wfh but I’ve wanted to shop, help the economy etc. and I fear I’ll have to stay away completely if masks are mandatory because I don’t think my exemption would be believed, or that I wouldn’t have people having a go at me for being out without a mask. I’ve tried many times to wear them and they make my symptoms (already far worse than usual due to pregnancy) ramp up even more. It’s very distressing, especially as it causes coughing, and I’m then removing the mask (touching the mask and my face, definitely not mask best practice) repeatedly to try and regulate my breathing. I’m following all other guidance sensibly, lots of hand washing, keeping my distance from others when out, but all things considered I think I’m more risk to others in a mask than without one should I be carrying CV.

I am very worried that despite being exempt I have no way to prove it to shops or other businesses. I carry my inhalers but that relies on others understanding, the government have previously said there won’t be anything official to prove exemption, though public transport companies have come up with different options (I’ve printed the TfL card just in case, but technically anyone could do this as it’s not verified) I’ve already been told once that someone ‘didn’t agree’ with exemptions to mask wearing and I should basically suck it up. People who want to be mean won’t check for exemption before having a go I’m sure of it.

But at the very least shouldn’t they ensure there’s some official way I could prove my exemption, a letter or card I could apply for from my doctor perhaps, that’s recognisable to others so I’m not at risk of not being believed or being yelled at? There are many people who will be in the some position.

OP posts:
Original poster
BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 15:55

@Pregnantandstressed24

Nope, don’t actually expect anyone to explain themselves. Just think it’s interesting OP said she can wear a mask for medical appts but doesn’t want to wear one to go into shops. As a pregnant person with asthma I definitely don’t want to catch coronavirus or risk passing it on to other vulnerable people.
I’ve said I had to wear masks for medical appointments, I didn’t say it was fine and that I’d had no issues in doing so. Ive describes the issues I’ve had with them in other posts. If I’d been fine wearing them at the hospital I wouldn’t have known I had an issue and would be happily wearing them elsewhere!
OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/07/2020 15:55

gamerchick never heard of PTSD?

If someone is traumatised by looking through a clear screen then they're screwed going into shops anyway. Those things are everywhere. A screen does not touch your face, it's just there. If it does then you need a bigger size.

These things are hard, you have to practice it until you're accustomed. Even my teen with ASD is working up to it. We've reached 45 minutes from seconds tolerance. It's taken a while but he's doing it. Ditching it because you're holding on to panic doesn't get anyone anywhere.

Apart from stuck at home. These are strange times and we all need to do our best to help.

I just can't fathom anyone with lung issues would rather take the risk of catching something that attacks the lungs for the sake of learning how to wear a facecovering. Just persevere and find something that works for you and practice it until you build a tolorance.

vanillandhoney · 13/07/2020 15:57

Because they don't have a forehead to put it around?

What's the point in a shitty fucking comment like that?

Some people have sensory or trauma issues that means things like visors, masks, hats, scarves etc. are hugely problematic for them. It's not always as simple as "wear a visor". Jesus.

SockYarn · 13/07/2020 15:57

Come on Gamerchick.

You can't seriously believe that you can teach your lungs not to have asthma.

BigChocFrenzy · 13/07/2020 15:57

In Germany, where I live, there is an official exemption form for doctors to sign off,
with name, DoB etc

Otherwise, masks compulsory from age 6+
in shops, stations, taxis, public transport etc

So far, everyone I've seen in those places has been wearing a mask,
so looks like only a small % of people actually qualifying for / using the exemptions

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 13/07/2020 15:58

Just think it’s interesting OP said she can wear a mask for medical appts but doesn’t want to wear one to go into shops.

That is a point. I won't be having medical treatment whilst masks are required because the location doesn't matter, it's masks which are the problem. I'm so glad I'm not currently pregnant because with my obstetric history, opting out of care would be a disaster but would feel like my only option.

Perhaps, the Op isn't wearing masks to hospital appointments? Certainly my GP said I don't have to wear one (not that I've seen her in person but I've been offered face to face appointments with no mask) so there seems to be some flexibility going on.

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/07/2020 15:58

I’m severely claustrophobic. The issue with a visor is still the proximity of it to my nose and mouth. I wish I didn’t feel like that, life would be easier.

TicketToTheWrongFilm · 13/07/2020 15:59

for the sake of learning how to wear a facecovering

Not sure how I'm meant to learn how to get by on less oxygen, any tips?

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/07/2020 16:00

so looks like only a small % of people actually qualifying for / using the exemptions

Or potentially they’re just staying at home in order to avoid being judged/challenged for not wearing one, which is what I’ll be doing.

mrsbyers · 13/07/2020 16:01

It should be mask or visor

Original poster
BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 16:01

Thank you to those who have mentioned sunflower lanyards, I’ve read the website and it does include all hidden disabilities including asthma and mental health issues, and I’m going to get an exemption card, wristband and lanyard from them. It does appear to be the most widely recognised scheme so hopefully that will help.

OP posts:
CaffiSaliMali · 13/07/2020 16:02

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

Just think it’s interesting OP said she can wear a mask for medical appts but doesn’t want to wear one to go into shops.

That is a point. I won't be having medical treatment whilst masks are required because the location doesn't matter, it's masks which are the problem. I'm so glad I'm not currently pregnant because with my obstetric history, opting out of care would be a disaster but would feel like my only option.

Perhaps, the Op isn't wearing masks to hospital appointments? Certainly my GP said I don't have to wear one (not that I've seen her in person but I've been offered face to face appointments with no mask) so there seems to be some flexibility going on.

Time is a factor. I wore a face mask during a drive through blood test during lockdown. I only had it on for a few minutes - I was struggling towards the end. There's a big difference between that and wearing one for my hour long commute.
Meredithgrey1 · 13/07/2020 16:02

Just think it’s interesting OP said she can wear a mask for medical appts but doesn’t want to wear one to go into shops.

She's said they caused her to have massive coughing fits. She'll probably get more criticism walking round a shop coughing loads than from not wearing a mask.

foxtiger · 13/07/2020 16:02

Or from being suffocated by an abuser, or being raped, or gagged, or being stuck in a confined space with little air... PTSD isn’t just caused by watching someone die

I think you think I'm making the opposite point from what I'm actually making. I'm saying there might be some people whose PTSD stems from something that would make them more likely to want to wear a mask - e.g. having seen others die or, as you say, having been very ill or in danger themselves from something that would make them want to cover their faces. Say someone who'd been exposed to poisonous gas in Iraq for example. Of course there are people whose PTSD relates to having been nearly suffocated or something similar and who would have problems with the mask and should not have to wear it. I'm not saying the rule as a whole is stupid, I'm saying there may be some people whose PTSD or anxiety makes them need to wear a mask to feel safe, and I hope nobody in that category gets the wrong end of the stick and worries that they shouldn't wear one because of the exemption, when in fact they can.

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/07/2020 16:03

@foxtiger

Or from being suffocated by an abuser, or being raped, or gagged, or being stuck in a confined space with little air... PTSD isn’t just caused by watching someone die

I think you think I'm making the opposite point from what I'm actually making. I'm saying there might be some people whose PTSD stems from something that would make them more likely to want to wear a mask - e.g. having seen others die or, as you say, having been very ill or in danger themselves from something that would make them want to cover their faces. Say someone who'd been exposed to poisonous gas in Iraq for example. Of course there are people whose PTSD relates to having been nearly suffocated or something similar and who would have problems with the mask and should not have to wear it. I'm not saying the rule as a whole is stupid, I'm saying there may be some people whose PTSD or anxiety makes them need to wear a mask to feel safe, and I hope nobody in that category gets the wrong end of the stick and worries that they shouldn't wear one because of the exemption, when in fact they can.

Ah ok, yes I did misunderstand, sorry.
tigger001 · 13/07/2020 16:04

so looks like only a small % of people actually qualifying for / using the exemptions

And maybe some of the ones who don't qualify don't want to risk spreading or contracting the virus, so are staying away.

PhilCornwall1 · 13/07/2020 16:05

Some people have sensory or trauma issues that means things like visors, masks, hats, scarves etc. are hugely problematic for them. It's not always as simple as "wear a visor". Jesus.

Agreed, I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and anything that touches the affected side of my face causes severe pain, I can't bear to be touched there at all.

I tried to put a mask on and you could say it smarted a little.

It's not only breathing issues that cause problems where masks/coverings/visors are concerned.

Original poster
BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 16:06

@Dinosauratemydaffodils I’ve had to wear them in waiting areas and it’s been really distressing, I’ve sat there coughing and struggling to regulate breathing which can’t be nice for those around me. My 20 week scan was horrible and I had to apologise to the sonographer for coughing but had to keep it on, I didn’t take much in and felt unwell all day. For midwife appointments just us (the couple that haven’t been on the phone) they let me take them off, thank god.

OP posts:
Idontlikewednesdays · 13/07/2020 16:07

Surely if you have asthma you should take more precautions, given the Covid seems to fuck your lungs and airways up. I do understand why you don’t want to wear one though. I’ve had to wear one for three hours having my hair done and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Hope pregnancy goes well and your asthma behaves 💐

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 13/07/2020 16:07

Or potentially they’re just staying at home in order to avoid being judged/challenged for not wearing one, which is what I’ll be doing.

Me too. It's also saving us a fortune because dh buys exactly what's on the list not all the random stuff I chuck in.

I also love all the people who think that the answer to PTSD is just to desensitise yourself with no medical support. Who needs therapy. That's a fortune saved for the NHS right there...

Original poster
BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 16:09

@gamerchick it’s pretty clear masks are more about not passing things on that not catching them. If others who can wear masks they can keep people like me safer. I do what I can keeping a distance and washing hands, not touching face etc. I am otherwise healthy and asthma is usually mild when not pregnant. Covid cases have been low where I am for a while

OP posts:
Original poster
BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 16:10

@Idontlikewednesdays I am taking all precautions I am able to - distancing and hand washing etc.

OP posts:
Drivingdownthe101 · 13/07/2020 16:13

Me too. It's also saving us a fortune because dh buys exactly what's on the list not all the random stuff I chuck in

Same here. I’m usually a big ‘consumer’ (large family, fairly high income and tend to spend quite a lot of money on things and experiences), but I’ve been cured of that now, so saving loads!

JohnLewisfan · 13/07/2020 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 13/07/2020 16:16

Not sure how I'm meant to learn how to get by on less oxygen, any tips?

But you're not getting less oxygen. Panic just makes you think you are.

Few people can just lut a mask on and not want to yank it off within a few minutes. It takes time and practice to build up tolorance slowly. Concentrating on breathing so it doesnt go fast into panic mode.

But no, I will not understand why someone with lung issues would want to risk a virus like this one. But it's your life, crack on.