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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say if they mandate mask wearing they need to ensure some way for the exempt from masks to prove it?

743 replies

BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 13:28

I am not anti-masks at all, I can see they are often very useful tools in infection control when used correctly (though it doesn’t seem they are by many people) but as someone ‘officially exempt’ from wearing them - in my case due to asthma - I’m increasingly panicked at the thought they’ll be made mandatory in shops and other places.

I have been able to avoid public transport thankfully due to furlough/wfh but I’ve wanted to shop, help the economy etc. and I fear I’ll have to stay away completely if masks are mandatory because I don’t think my exemption would be believed, or that I wouldn’t have people having a go at me for being out without a mask. I’ve tried many times to wear them and they make my symptoms (already far worse than usual due to pregnancy) ramp up even more. It’s very distressing, especially as it causes coughing, and I’m then removing the mask (touching the mask and my face, definitely not mask best practice) repeatedly to try and regulate my breathing. I’m following all other guidance sensibly, lots of hand washing, keeping my distance from others when out, but all things considered I think I’m more risk to others in a mask than without one should I be carrying CV.

I am very worried that despite being exempt I have no way to prove it to shops or other businesses. I carry my inhalers but that relies on others understanding, the government have previously said there won’t be anything official to prove exemption, though public transport companies have come up with different options (I’ve printed the TfL card just in case, but technically anyone could do this as it’s not verified) I’ve already been told once that someone ‘didn’t agree’ with exemptions to mask wearing and I should basically suck it up. People who want to be mean won’t check for exemption before having a go I’m sure of it.

But at the very least shouldn’t they ensure there’s some official way I could prove my exemption, a letter or card I could apply for from my doctor perhaps, that’s recognisable to others so I’m not at risk of not being believed or being yelled at? There are many people who will be in the some position.

OP posts:
Realityofsen · 14/07/2020 09:45

My DD can barely tolerate shoes and only very very specific clothing. As a result I just don't take her to places else she would end up stripping the moment she starts going into overload and won't wear shoes indoors.

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 09:50

@GreytExpectations no need to be so unpleasant.

Do you know what TN is and how it works? I can't wear a scarf in winter because it sets off an attack. Wearing my glasses often does. As does a breeze, cleaning my teeth, putting on makeup, washing/touching my face, eating, lying on my affected side, getting dressed... What do you suggest might be suitable for me?

This sort of ignorance is precisely why I won't feel comfortable going into shops without a mask. It's fair enough that people don't know what a certain rare chronic condition is, but if they refuse to understand how it affects those who suffer from it and imagine it's not as debilitating as it is, you're on a hiding to nothing.

lorn195 · 14/07/2020 09:53

@fuckenhellitsme my husband also has TN. And he would absolutely agree with you, why do you need to exhaling your medical history. Funnily we had the same conversation this morning about wearing a badge or anything that you have to show exemption. He's resigned to the fact he may never go shopping again.

lorn195 · 14/07/2020 09:55

@greyexpectations news? Face masks arent mandatory, face coverings are, means there must be something that would be suitable for you to use.

I doubt it, my husband tried on my scarf and a mask which I had bought for myself the other day, and both set his TN off.

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 09:57

[quote lorn195]@greyexpectations news? Face masks arent mandatory, face coverings are, means there must be something that would be suitable for you to use.

I doubt it, my husband tried on my scarf and a mask which I had bought for myself the other day, and both set his TN off. [/quote]
Have you tried a face shield?

PhilCornwall1 · 14/07/2020 09:58

[quote Fuckinellitsme]@GreytExpectations no need to be so unpleasant.

Do you know what TN is and how it works? I can't wear a scarf in winter because it sets off an attack. Wearing my glasses often does. As does a breeze, cleaning my teeth, putting on makeup, washing/touching my face, eating, lying on my affected side, getting dressed... What do you suggest might be suitable for me?

This sort of ignorance is precisely why I won't feel comfortable going into shops without a mask. It's fair enough that people don't know what a certain rare chronic condition is, but if they refuse to understand how it affects those who suffer from it and imagine it's not as debilitating as it is, you're on a hiding to nothing.[/quote]
You got there before me. I've also got TN and can't stand anything touching my right side. As you've said, even a breeze sets it off and it's excruciating.

To anyone who doesn't know what it is, they don't call it the Suicide Disease for shits and giggles.

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 09:59

Fuckinellitsme can't see how my post to you was unpleasant at all, I was simply giving you the facts. You probably are a bit sensitive on the issue because of how it affects you.

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:01

@lorn195 massive sympathies to your DH Flowers I'm absolutely with him on the not going shopping again thing. I honestly can't see any way around it. I'd already resigned myself to not using public transport unless it was a dire emergency which is practically impossible as neither me nor DH drive.

I honestly would wear one if I could. I understand the need and the importance. It just isn't possible for me.

Cadent · 14/07/2020 10:02

It [face shield] would still be something restrictive over my face which is distressing.

Sounds like you're just nit picking, OP. First you say the a mask makes you cough and now a face shield would be distressing.

I totally support those who can't wear a mask not to wear one but something about your post is very woe is me and attention seeking. If anyone says anything to you about not wearing a mask after 24 July, I'll eat my hat. People won't give a shit.

DeeCeeCherry · 14/07/2020 10:02

Mandatory from 24th July apparently? In which case yes of course it makes sense to have proof of exemption. In the same way as if allergic to penicillin you can wear a bangle or pendant or something even smaller. I understand there are lanyards available.

I will shop as little as possible. Who wants to be around The Entitled who just live to be heard, hassling a shop/checkout assistant causing delays as to NO why should I be wearing a facemask, Im exempt and NO I don't have to prove it?

We're in a pandemic it's not a game so as to proudly regale forum or next little tea party of how you put someone in their place.

People who are truly exempt will quietly get on with it, I imagine.

OP I hope now you'll be able to gain proof of exemption, to put your mind at rest.

ginghamstarfish · 14/07/2020 10:02

I would suggest if you really feel you cannot wear a mask, then a face shield along with the badge. If nothing else you are showing some consideration for others who are wearing masks for the good of all. Nobody WANTS or likes to wear one, but we wear them to protect others.

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:03

@GreytExpectations 'have you actually read the news' sounded rather sneery and judgy.

And no, a face visor wouldn't work because it creates pressure around the trigeminal nerve. In fact it would probably be worse.

Do you know what TN is?

mrpumblechook · 14/07/2020 10:04

Whilst face coverings may mean some people don't feel comfortable going to a shop or on public transport the reverse is true for other people, and for those who are vulnerable this is for good reason. Whatever the rules they will impact one vulnerable group but what is the alternative?

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:05

if you really feel you cannot wear a mask

Or to put it another way, 'cannot wear a mask'. There's no 'feel' about it.

And a face shield, for some, is just as impossible as a mask.

PhilCornwall1 · 14/07/2020 10:05

And no, a face visor wouldn't work because it creates pressure around the trigeminal nerve. In fact it would probably be worse.

Completely agree, it would be worse.

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 10:07

Why do I need to know the details of your medical condition? You have clarified why you can't wear other face coverings, I was simply offering suggestions. They clearly won't work for you, that's a shame and you may want to consider a sunflower lanyard when you go out and about. I don't need to know the details of your personal condition to understand that you can't wear anything. No need to be so rude as really your replies are the ones that seem sneery and rude

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:08

And I don't want to wear a badge which proclaims to all and sundry that I have a medical condition/disability. As I've said, I'm not ashamed of it but neither do I wish to advertise it.

What I'd like to see is an understanding that some people are exempt from wearing a face covering and that people aren't judged, questioned or abused because they don't. That would of course rely on those who can wear masks doing so and people being tolerant of others who aren't wearing one, but I understand that's a bit of a tall order, especially judging by comments on this thread and other similar ones.

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:10

@PhilCornwall1 TN is shit isn't it. As is peoples' apparent refusal to understand what it is and how debilitating it is Flowers

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 10:11

*Sounds like you're just nit picking, OP. First you say the a mask makes you cough and now a face shield would be distressing.

I totally support those who can't wear a mask not to wear one but something about your post is very woe is me and attention seeking. If anyone says anything to you about not wearing a mask after 24 July, I'll eat my hat. People won't give a shit.*

I agree. I think a lot of people on here have got it in their heads that the minute they step out of their house without a face covering that they will be hounded with abuse. I highly doubt that will happen and I've certainly not seen or heard of it in my area.

PhilCornwall1 · 14/07/2020 10:12

@Fuckinellitsme it's certainly pretty grim. My concern is that if the government decide to release a list of exemptions, TN won't be on it, as it's not well understood.

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 10:13

And I don't want to wear a badge which proclaims to all and sundry that I have a medical condition/disability. As I've said, I'm not ashamed of it but neither do I wish to advertise it.

Well that's unfortunately the situation we are in. Not wearing a covering will be mandatory with the risk of a fine so you need to either comply and have proof of exemption or deal with the consequences. We all have to do things we don't like, don't know why you think you are special.

NotShiny · 14/07/2020 10:15

Sunflower lanyards are not asd specific at all. They are there for anyone who needs help, who might have a hidden disability. And yes, you are right, anyone can pick one up. I do get what you mean, noone will know why you arent wearing a mask and lots of people are wrongly challenging people for it. I think just print out a card saying you are exempt. The only people you need explain to are police officers or transport police.

GreytExpectations · 14/07/2020 10:15

I don't see much caring or tolerance from those who can't wear one on here either. The problem is people will abuse the exemption excuse and not wear one just because they don't fancy it. So yes, we need some formal way of showing to make such the cheeky fuckers who take the piss aren't able to. I know a lot of you on here don't care about the health and safety of others but some of us do.

Meredithgrey1 · 14/07/2020 10:19

My concern is that if the government decide to release a list of exemptions, TN won't be on it, as it's not well understood.

Hopefully for you it will be a list of example exemptions and then something like this from the TfL website about exemptions on public transport:
• If you have a physical or mental illness or impairment, or a disability that means you cannot put on, wear or remove a face covering
• If putting on, wearing or removing a face covering would cause you severe distress

So they don't list every single one, it's just a blanket "if you can't, you don't have to" statement.

Fuckinellitsme · 14/07/2020 10:21

We all have to do things we don't like, don't know why you think you are special

I don't think I'm special and yes, you're rude.

Wearing a sunflower lanyard will not protect anyone. It's not like wearing a face mask.

The one time I got the bus, there was a lady not wearing a mask. Other passengers were talking about her and one reported her to the driver (who quite rightly did not intervene). So yes, people do get bother if they don't wear one.