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Original poster

Adult child - how much financial contribution to household?

65 replies

Jacalouse · 13/07/2020 10:56

Adult son and wife both working full time will live with us for around 6 months to save for house deposit. Around £2600 take home pay between them, only outgoing is a small car. Our overall household Bill's and food is around £2400 a month, around half of our monthly income. They will not have to buy any food and I will be making all meals. What is a reasonable contribution from them? (We also will be giving them half towards their desposit)

OP posts:
contrmary · 13/07/2020 10:57

If you can afford it, don't charge them anything. The more they can save the better property they will be able to buy,

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/07/2020 10:59

Tbh I’d let them stay for free but have them provide all the food.

Teacaketotty · 13/07/2020 11:00

I also think if you can afford it nothing, if it’s only for 6 months I’m sure they will really appreciate it - I wish my parents could have been in a position to do this for me!

Immigrantsong · 13/07/2020 11:00

@contrmary

If you can afford it, don't charge them anything. The more they can save the better property they will be able to buy,
I completely agree. They don't earn that much between them and this help from you will not be forgotten I am sure.
Herbie0987 · 13/07/2020 11:01

If one adult rented a bed sit probably would be paying £70 per week depending where you are in the country. I would expect a contribution

WhatASadLittleLifeJane · 13/07/2020 11:01

I wouldn't charge unless you needed it, but they buy their own food and toiletries

ComeBackIntoTheGardenMaud · 13/07/2020 11:02

Normally, I think adult children should pay their way, but I don't see the point of taking a contribution from them and then in effect giving it back as part of their house deposit. Why not let them put the money straight into savings?

Sunnydayshereatlast · 13/07/2020 11:02

Adult ds paid 10 % as 'board' and saved 10 %.. Bought a house at 25 with a canny deposit...
Older ds paid 20 %at his suggestion but left home to rent as had no deposit saved.

elenacampana · 13/07/2020 11:02

Small contribution for raise in your bills, like if if you’re on a water metre. You shouldn’t have to foot the bill for that stuff.

I would also say though, the less you charge, the more they save and the faster they move on!

thegcatsmother · 13/07/2020 11:03

Yes, you should charge them something. Your food and utility costs will increase, and you shouldn't have to cover that. I would have thought £500-600 pm would be fair. If they are adult enough to be married, they are adult enough to pay their own way.

When ds came home in the holidays from university, and then post uni, my bread, milk, ham, cheese, peanut butter and electricity bills were noticeably greater.

oopsiedaisy2 · 13/07/2020 11:05

Well if you're going to Charge them what it would cost to rent it's not really viable for them. What about a contribution towards water gas electricity say £150 a month and then all their food?

senua · 13/07/2020 11:05

If the Bank of Mum & Dad contribute towards the deposit then it can get complicated - Money Laundering Regulations, signing over the gift, inheritance tax complications, etc.
If son&wife keep the money and build up the deposit in their own name then it will probably make life simpler.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2020 11:07

There's a lot more to consider than just money. You certainly shouldn't end up being their maid. This is your home, not a hotel. They should be making making all of their breakfasts and lunches, as well as half the dinners. They need to do housework, all of their laundry, etc. You need to set very clear rules and expectations before they move in.

IAintentDead · 13/07/2020 11:15

I'd be charging them around £600 to £800 per month. I don't think it is right that adults get to live anywhere for free. Even if you add the money to what you are giving them towards the deposit. Or maybe half the utility bills and half the average food bill. Something that helps keep in perspective that living costs money.

topoftheshops · 13/07/2020 11:23

I'm shocked at some of the amounts on here - I don't know what region you live in but where I live £600-£800 would be more than a lot of mortgages...!

If you charge them a standard 'rent' that's not allowing them to live with you to save for a deposit, and they would surely be more comfortable moving out.

If you want them to be able to save then I would say don't charge them rent but ask them to contribute food shopping once a month or something. They should also help with cooking and housework.

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2020 11:25

If you can afford it, nothing, anything you take is from their savings basically.

Merryoldgoat · 13/07/2020 11:29

@senua

No it’s not - they just need to confirm it’s a gift and know the source. It’s easy.

OP - as it’s 6 months specifically to save I wouldn’t charge anything if you can afford it but make them get their own food

Ponddering · 13/07/2020 11:33

No rent, I’d just tell them to buy their own food.

Proudboomer · 13/07/2020 11:33

I wouldn’t charge them anything but neither would I supply food or cook for them.
So free board but they supply and cook their own food.

Original poster
Jacalouse · 13/07/2020 11:37

Thanks for replies. We live in a very reasonable area of uk, we have 4 other kids (3 older 1 younger still at home) 3 older have all had help with house deposit. Clear guidelines have been agreed regarding household cleaning, laundry etc. Husband and I both paid "board" growing up and had no financial help from either side when we bought our first home so our mindset is you "pay your way". They will contribute nowhere near what they would be paying if they were renting and paying their own bills. We have seen on Mumnet before people saying they keep some of the contribution and give it back (effectively saving for them) They are eager to have their own place but they have also booked 2 holidays!

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 13/07/2020 11:37

I’m not sure where in the country you are but that’s quite a low wage. DP and I earn almost 3 times that and it’s taken us a few years to save anywhere near what we need for a deposit although we are in London so it’s very expensive.

If you need the money then ask for some but if not I’d leave them with as much to save as possible. The quicker they can save, the quicker you’ll have your house back! And they’ll appreciate how much you helped them.

Floofboopsnootandbork · 13/07/2020 11:38

I'd be charging them around £600 to £800 per month.

They may aswell find their own place for that kind of money Hmm not really allowing them save when they’re giving away over 25% of their income.

Louise0701 · 13/07/2020 11:40

I wouldn’t charge them either. They don’t earn much and it would help them save much more.
You’ve mentioned a holiday booking so are you resentful they’re living with you for free and booked a holiday? Maybe they’re taking their only opportunity to do so as usually they can’t afford them?

FizzyPink · 13/07/2020 11:40

Ahh just seen your update. If they’re serious about buying a house in the next 6 months and are relying on your good will to do it then holidays should not be a consideration!
I’d definitely start charging something in that case otherwise you run the risk of them getting a little bit too comfortable. Perhaps just ask them to cover the food shopping or something, them doing it for you would save you a job as well

Wtfdoipick · 13/07/2020 11:40

They are eager to have their own place but they have also booked 2 holidays!

for me that changes everything. If they are not saving every penny possible then they can pay the amount it costs so their share of food and utilities etc.

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