Adult child - how much financial contribution to household?

[Jacalouse]

Adult son and wife both working full time will live with us for around 6 months to save for house deposit. Around £2600 take home pay between them, only outgoing is a small car. Our overall household Bill's and food is around £2400 a month, around half of our monthly income. They will not have to buy any food and I will be making all meals. What is a reasonable contribution from them? (We also will be giving them half towards their desposit)

I've already agreed with my daughter that when she's earning and starts paying 'board' to live in the family home. I'll put all the money in a savings account and give in back to her when she buys her first property. Maybe you could do that?

Also if they take the Mick, you can threaten keeping that money. (Not all adult children behave like angels)

I was going to say just ask them to pay for food but given they are going on 2 holidays they should be paying full market rate for staying.

£600 a month is a ludicrous suggestion. You can rent a whole house for that!

If it really will only be for six months and you can manage I wouldn't bother. If it looks as though it will be for much longer than that, a small contribution towards council tax, electricity, etc, would be helpful.

Good luck.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Tue 14-Jul-20 05:08:10
£600 a month is a ludicrous suggestion. You can rent a whole house for that!
...
I'd like to know where!

I would speak to them about how much their mortgage and bills will cost in total per month in their expected price property once they buy it with the expected amount of deposit etc.

So say it’s £x pcm. I’d charge them that - not to keep for myself but to let them see how little money they have left after the mortgage and bills are paid so they can decide themselves over the coming months if they can afford it. That way they won’t overstretch to buy a house. You do need money to have a life with over the next 25 years while you pay your house off!

As I said I wouldn’t keep the money, I’d refund it (after the six months is up and they are leaving) probably in full if I could afford it, or in full minus food. Plus what you said you’d give them.

Taking a lot of money off them monthly ensures they don’t spend it on shit. New handbags, new car, another holiday, an expensive wedding gift/attendance etc. Things crop up. They may not be strong enough to resist temptation and end up in six months with only a little money saved, crying “Oh but you won’t mind if we stay another six months, it’s just been impossible to save enough” ... Er, no, you spent too much on crap and we’ve to bail you out. Again! That’s not fair on your other children.

Plus it stops them getting too comfy in your place and trying to stay longer. If there’s no instant financial benefit to them to stay with you then come the date they will move out with a whacking great deposit and hopefully in the full awareness of how much they have per month to spend on life after bills.

I'd not charge them or maybe just a token amount of say £300 per month ( £10 per day) but I'd only do this if they agree to 100% use the opportunity to save every penny they can.
I wouldn't be happy about the holidays.

I was onboard for only charging a very minimal "token" amount, but then saw they'd booked 2 holidays!
Clearly not THAT serious about the house deposit!

I think £100 a week (£400 a month) would be very reasonable, and would be far cheaper than any rent they'd pay for somewhere even half decent.

@thatmustbenigelwiththebrie

£600 a month is a ludicrous suggestion. You can rent a whole house for that!

I'd like to know where!

I was paying that 5 years ago for a pokey 2-bed flat (but really one bedroom and a box room) in the Midlands, next to a dual-carriageway!

How much do they need to save?

All sounds very childlike. They are saving for a house but have booked two holidays. You will make all meals so they will have no say about food,times like they are children staying in your home. I think in order for it to work with this type of dynamic, you should charge 500 but then give it back to go towards their savings. You say they are good with budgeting but when they earned more they didn't seem to save and going on 2 holidays when saving for a mortgage is daft.

They are adults who have left home - presumably know how much it costs to live already? So it doesn't sound like they need a life lesson in budgeting like others have suggested. Also, booking holidays doesn't necessarily mean they are going away in the next 6 months. They may be next year when the payments would also be due - not impacting the current situation in the slightest. Only the OP knows though.

My advice would be to make them pay for their own food and whatever the increase in bills would be. Otherwise moving in with you to save is pointless.

A history of regular payments may help when it comes to getting a mortgage.

I can't believe so many are saying not to charge anything . They are adults with jobs, why on earth wouldn't they pay their way?

I would charge them the extra it costs you so food plus a bit for utilities £300 a month maybe?

@unicornparty they're saving for a house. I would want to help my child in anyway I possibly could if I could afford too.