AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

My DD was v fussy as a toddler and on a couple of occasions I phoned ahead to a restaurant and asked if they minded if I brought her a Mcdonalds if the rest of the party were eating there and full paying customers. They always said it was fine as they wouldn’t turn away a whole group for the sake of a toddler eating something brought in. Just a suggestion in case it helps.

My DS is reasonably fussy (although he's recently started to try new food which is SUCH a joy!), whenever we're invited to meals at places I know he'd be unlikely to try anything I take food with us and just speak to the staff to explain, order him a drink and a side dish (which invariably he won't eat... But I will 😁) and definitely a pudding so it's not totally cheeky. I've never been anywhere where they say that's not OK. Is that an option?

Its your birthday your choice , i have a really fussy child now teenager we have gone to places where he hasnt liked anything in the menu , i just feed him before and let him order an ice cream or similar , as he is so fussy we would never have gone out otherwise
Sometimes he may of just had garlic bread or some other random thing if there wAs something he liked

She is being a CF. Kids shouldn't be made to eat sausage and beans or chicken nuggets and chips as an option in a restaurant. Boring! My kids will happily come to a Mexican, Japanese or Indian restaurant and order off the regular menu (or a smaller version if an option).

Your birthday. It is where you want to go. You have accommodated her kids by providing a menu.

Reply that you are sorry but you are not changing restaurants as it is your favourite place to go and your birthday. Then say she is welcome to bring alternative food for them.

If the kids menu is just chips with stuff, I often order an extra starter and share that and a main with DD - she has always eaten what we eat and would much rather have mash than chips.

First off thank you for the inspiration to have fajitas for dinner.

Secondly while it is not unreasonable to hope that if children are invited that they will be catered for in some way, it is unreasonable to expect the entire event to be changed because of the children’s fussy food phases.

I can’t think what a better initial response to you would be. Maybe she felt the need to be honest as perhaps their current eating is extremely fussy and she was concerned they would make a massive fuss. A lot also depends on how old they are.

Either way, it isn’t your concern. You booked it and sent the menu. The parents of the kids can liaise with the kitchen to see if they can offer something more suitable for her particular children

DD is fussy as fuck , so if we get consulted on the restaurant I ask for somewhere that will have fish, or (plainish) chicken or some form of potato(chips,mash,roasted) . If I don't get consulted , I check the menu myself, make sure she eats at home, order her something she might like and end with desert.

Or the other way round and stop at McDonalds on the way home.

Regardless, just because she's fussy doesn't mean she can dictate(there's a place me and OH love but she'll only have the chips and milkshake there, sometimes the chips dipped in the milkshake!!!!) where other people eat and she won't die of starvation because she skipped a meal(she often does anyways).

I’m a bit soft and would probably reply along the lines that nobody would mind if she wanted to feed them beforehand and then just order some nachos and a pudding. Looking forward to seeing them if they can still make it, etc.

Incidentally, when we took then toddler DC to the US we often chose Mexican restaurants as they were so child friendly. Always some kind of carb and cheese option available and the staff were usually so lovely and made a charming fuss of little DC.

She is being a bit cheeky Tbh but I’m just prepared for the stroking myself comments of ‘DD hates chips etc’

I wish more children's menus just had half portions of the most popular adult options. I often had to just share a meal with DS when he was younger, or find a starter or other smaller option he'd like. There was just the two of us, so he was used to eating different foods, not special 'kids'' food.

She can surely find something on the menu that they'd like?!

It’s your birthday, not theirs. It is fine if they don’t want to come but why change your plans. She’s being rather rude and demanding

My DC wouldn’t eat any of those things, but I would never ask you to change your choice. I would either leave them at home or ask for bread or plain nachos and let them go hungry.

@Blearymorningeyes

Okay guys... She replied!

"Awwww OK Bleary, I guess I can ring if it's not just the stuff on the menu and whether they can improv a bit for them if that makes sense, they're just in a very fussy phase and was thinking it would be easier to find something I know they'd like but never mind xx"

I think I'm just going to leave it now and not reply presuming they're going to come unless otherwise stated. The response seemed quite self centred to me, but could have been worse I guess!

Oh and just to clarify it's not just me and them going to dinner.

Not their birthday, not their choice. Not your SILs choice either, it’s not all about them on this occasion.

Easier for her to change your plans to something that suits her dc and not you, when you’re the reason for the event in the first place! Her dc are clearly the centre of the universe. So, if you had changed venue, that would then suit two guests... out of how many?

She feeds them earlier, later, or gets a babysitter. Or doesn’t go and catches up with you later. I’m afraid her reply screams CF to me!

Why can't they just have chicken and a dessert

@JRUIN

I don't think her reply was unreasonable or self centred at all. She is obviously worried that her kids will be bored and may start whinging and ruin the meal out for everyone. I get the impression you don't think much of your SIL OP.

So leave them with a babysitter or don’t go rather than try and dictate the OPs choice of birthday celebration 🤦🏻‍♀️

@JRUIN

I think very much of them, thank you! I just thought she would have expressed a bit of positivity towards the event in the message, hence why I said I thought that it was a bit self centred

What's she got to be positive about? Having to drag kids out to a, no doubt, long drawn out event where they can't even enjoy the food AND having to fork out for the privilege sounds like my idea of hell. To be honest unless I was really close to my SIL I wouldn't have even invited her. Is it a special birthday or something?

No, she doesn’t have to drag them there, there are other options. Many mentioned above by people who understand that their dc aren’t the focus of other people’s worlds.

I don’t think that reply is too bad. I have kids ranging from eats almost everything to sees a dietician because his autistic tastes are so limited (I’d try him on a cheese quesadilla as technically he likes the ingredients but it might look funny) and we just go wherever and he eats ice cream if nothing else. Even if my kids love the food, they are bored long before a decent enjoyable adult meal is done, so it doesn’t make a massive difference to my own experience and he doesn’t care hugely about a culinary experience. My eldest is improving rapidly so hopefully the worst of it is passing!

Enjoy your birthday, OP! Hope you have a lovely dinner. The restaurant sounds lovely.

OP, I’m also craving fajitas now

Be brave and tell her it's your bday your choice. Tell her to feed the kids before she comes and just get them pudding or leave them at home.

Her reply seems rude as well. Bet she doesn't turn up.

Her reply would have pissed me off. The passive aggressive "awwww" annoying.

If the kids are that fussy I bet they won't enjoy anything. Even sausage and chips would be the wrong sausage or something like that.

Her reply is definitely loaded. It translates as - I assumed you would do as you were told and change the venue to suit my children but you’re obviously too selfish and uncaring for that so I suppose I’ll have to accept it.

I would reply, “Great. See you then. Xx”

Is this husband's sister or brother's wife? Not that it matters, but there's someone else you can get to deal with it, e.g. your brother or husband

@pictish that’s how l interpret it as well. “Great, see you then x” is the perfect answer