To "Up" my house?

[mylittlesandwich]

I have entirely had enough of my neighbors and several other people who live near me so I'm thinking if I tie enough helium balloons to my house (a la Carl from Up) we could just take our whole house somewhere else?

My immediate neighbors have erected a 6ft fence. So far so good. Then they put their trampoline right next to it. Their kids wave to us in the kitchen regularly.

About a month ago someone shot my back window with an air rifle. Still haven't had the money to fix it.

One garden over the back of ours has been having a loud garden party all day. They were listening to GBX which was bad enough. It's now sectarian songs because they wouldn't have been able to have their march this weekend.

I like my actual house but I now wish it was anywhere else.

Oh! I forgot! Next door had a party until 3am a couple of weeks back and set their shed on fire. Drunk and in charge of flames was not a good combination.

Sounds awful, you have my sympathies I have bad neighbours too. The balloon idea sounds amazing I wish it was possible I’d definitely join you.
If you know who shot your window a polite note with ‘I have cctv evidence of you doing this if you don’t pay up I’ll send the footage to the police’ it’s worked for me in the past when my car window was damaged by a football.

@Ishihtzuknot sadly I have no idea who it was. We're terraced and looked over by loads of houses. No neighbours with cctv either. Police took details but I doubt anything will come of it.

They're still going. DH and DS sleep like logs so they're fine. I don't have work tomorrow at least so I'm hoping for naps.

You sound like me OP. I have bad neighbours too, completely exacerbated by lockdown. Letting their kids run riot throughout, having parties etc. Wish the balloon idea was possible

Problem is: loads of folks have similarly rubbish neighbours.... You could go off with the balloons and be nowhere better!

Maybe I could have no neighbours? Park my house somewhere with nobody to annoy me. That sounds good.