Aibu to be angry

[Pollypocket89]

I'm so angry. I've just had my friend in tears down the phone because of an arsehole stranger. My friend lost a relative and today drove to a local area to scatter the ashes. As she pulled into the car park a couple of cyclists had decided that was a great place to stop and have a drink... She waited and the man said sorry and thank you and the woman snapped that she shouldn't be driving anyway.

When my friend said excuse me she said that no one should be driving for exercise in the local lockdown (my friend is in the Leicester lockdown area and only drove within the lockdown zones, not breaking any guidelines anyway). They both said she was wrong though the male not unpleasantly

She's so upset and now doesn't feel she can scatter the ashes as it's taken away from the moment. Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover, not make a snidey comment

Why can't people mind their own business, they have no idea what other peoples business is. I wish I could get to my friend but I'm too far away but ffs. I've told her to try and remember some people are entitled arseholes but it's not helped her

I've not done a poll before... Does it say the results anywhere?

You think the cyclist should be grateful your friend didn't kill her?

Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover,

I'm at this. You really think the woman should be grateful to not have your friend run her over? Okaaaaay. I didn't realise is car users were doing cyclists a favour by not seriously injuring or killing them.

Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover, not make a snidey comment

You cannot be serious.

Kind've missing the point but no, that was obviously tongue in cheek. The cyclists stopped in an unsafe place, my friend obviously stopped leaving her in an unsafe position on the road... Obviously I meant that the woman should have had more grace to then be unnecessarily rude to my friend

I’m sorry what? The cyclist should be thankful your friend didn’t run her over? Are you or your friend in the habit of mowing down cyclists?

If I’d been your friend I would have shrugged it off and continued with the scattering of the ashes. I don’t know why she didn’t but I’m sorry she felt she couldn’t.

You'd have had most people here agreeing with you had you not made that 'tongue in cheek' comment, OP.

The cyclists had no clue your friend was there for something so personal, so they snapped because to them the guidelines were being followed. Unfortunately people are tense right now, especially in places like that where you've been forced back into lockdown to a rise in cases. Your friend needs to try and let it go.
Also the woman shouldn't feel grateful your friend didn't run her over. That's a ridiculous statement you've made.

Why should she be grateful not to be run over? 🤨
If it was a car park why did they need to leave because your friend arrived? It probably was the best place for them to stop and have a drink.

Were not being followed*

The cyclists stopped in an unsafe place, my friend obviously stopped leaving her in an unsafe position on the road...

I think ought it was a car park?

I’m sorry she felt unable to scatter the ashes.
It does sound a little 6 of one and half a dozen of the other really.

What I’m picturing is two cyclists stopped in the car park entrance with OP’s friend trying to turn in.

To clarify - they had stopped in the entrance /exit to the car park where you immediately pull off the road into. The man knew they werenf right to do that as he said sorry and thanked them

1. No one should be killed. Obviously

1. No one has the right to be rude to strangers... I think in my upset for my friend, I forgot this is de rigur on aibu

Nevermind...! :)

Pictish, exactly that

This sounds like a whole load of fuss over nothing tbh. Not everything needs to be “an incident”. A woman was rude. That’s it. Happens all the time. Your friend should’ve rolled her eyes and carried on with her plans. As her friend you should be de escalating her upset- not encouraging it .

Sorry OP you'll have a thread full of people now banging on about the comment about the cyclists being run over.

I understood what you meant, they shouldn't have stopped where they'd stopped and could have caused an accident if your friend hadn't noticed them in time and stopped.

And I don't think YABU. I hate how no one seems able to mind their own bloody business at the moment. It's tedious. Tbh I don't give a shit why the person I pass in the street is there or where they came from or how they got there. It's nothing to do with me and I'd never dream of commenting on it.

I find people like this are nosey arses in regular life and are thriving now they have what they deem as a justification for being so.

However just to clarify, I wish your friend had been able to do an eye roll and carry on with what she was doing. It's annoying when people are rude and even more so at the moment because it seems every Tom Dick and Harry thinks they have a right to know what everyone else is up to however, it doesn't seem like a huge thing. However I appreciate your friends emotions were probably running high.

Your friend needs to be bolder. A cold look and “I’m here to sprinkle some ashes of a deceased relative, but thank you for your opinion” would probably put most people back in their box.

Thank you Plumfordinner, that's exactly it. It's the unnecessariness of it all. I just needed to vent as I can't see her

Minor annoyance. You and your friend a BU to be angry and in tears over this.

WiseOwl69, that did occur to her but only afterwards! Yes, her emotions are running high. Anyone who suggests they'd just move on and scatter them, more power to you but it would have tainted a special /already hugely emotive thing for me too so I completely understand

Tbh we have know way of knowing neither do you if you weren’t there. I wouldn’t be to upset about it and wind your friend up more. Just smile and nod and let her vent to you

... And there's another stranger being unnecessarily rude to a stranger.