Aibu to be angry

[Pollypocket89]

I'm so angry. I've just had my friend in tears down the phone because of an arsehole stranger. My friend lost a relative and today drove to a local area to scatter the ashes. As she pulled into the car park a couple of cyclists had decided that was a great place to stop and have a drink... She waited and the man said sorry and thank you and the woman snapped that she shouldn't be driving anyway.

When my friend said excuse me she said that no one should be driving for exercise in the local lockdown (my friend is in the Leicester lockdown area and only drove within the lockdown zones, not breaking any guidelines anyway). They both said she was wrong though the male not unpleasantly

She's so upset and now doesn't feel she can scatter the ashes as it's taken away from the moment. Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover, not make a snidey comment

Why can't people mind their own business, they have no idea what other peoples business is. I wish I could get to my friend but I'm too far away but ffs. I've told her to try and remember some people are entitled arseholes but it's not helped her

What I’m picturing is two cyclists stopped in the car park entrance with OP’s friend trying to turn in.

That doesn't mean they deserved running over though? The onus is on a car pulling in to check the way is clear. There could equally have been a queue of cars blocking the entrance, and a driver rear-ending them would be the one at fault. It doesn't make what the OP said the slightest bit better.

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable

Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover

Your friend has every right to be upset, but if you actually mean the above comment you're a nasty fucker. You think cyclists should be grateful not to be killed? Twat.

It's so obvious what OP meant.

If I drove irresponsibly say I pulled out on someone or was using my phone and the only reason I didn't cause an accident was because another person noticed and managed to stop in time then YES I should absolutely be grateful I wasn't killed.

I forgot cyclists can't ever be wrong though obviously.

No one is saying they deserved to be ran over. Just that they shouldn't have stopped in a dangerous spot and are lucky OPs friend noticed and stopped in time. Stop twisting.

A car could have been blocking the entrance. Should a car driver in that position be grateful not to be crashed into? Obviously not. So why do different rules apply to cyclists.

Cyclists do get targeted for violence by aggressive drivers, so it really isn't a joke. I'm both a driver and a cyclist.

Thank you, Plumfordinner.

I'm too overwhelmed by irony to someone with the username ReceptaclefortheRespectable calling me a 'nasty fucker' and a 'twat'

"Receptacle for the respectable" is a Super Furry Animals song lyric. Not sure what you think it's meant to mean?

A car could have been blocking the entrance. Should a car driver in that position be grateful not to be crashed into?

If a car driver pulled up where it wasn't safe to do so then yes... I'd say the same.

Don't pull up in dangerous places if you don't want to be blamed for an accident.

An insurance company would disagree with you on that point. The fact is that drivers are expected to drive so that they can stop before hitting an unexpected obstacle, whatever that may be.

However, as I say it is ALWAYS assumed that cyclists don't make any mistakes or ride dangerously or are ever in the wrong so you can't win OP.

A cyclist could zig zag the wrong way up the M1 and you'd still get people saying the onous is on car drivers to know that someone could possibly ride the wrong way up the road and it's their fault.

I'm not really interested in what an insurance company would say. If a car was pulled up blocking the entrance of a carpark where they shouldn't be then yes I'd think that person was an idiot and is lucky no one hit them.

The other ironic thing is, it's nothing to do with cyclists. The rude woman happened to be one but when she gets off her bike, she's still the same person who thinks it's OK to be a turd to strangers... You are correct, Plum!

This is not anything to get worked up about. People are always disagreeing about the guidelines at the money as they are changing constantly.

One of two people spoke to her in an unkind way and they all,disagreed about the guidelines. The scattering of the ashes and the kindly not killing them isn’t relevant.

Can I suggest you ask for the post to be removed, you calm down and re post with the proper story? People are focusing on your friend not killing cyclists rather than the fact the cyclists stopped in an unsafe place

I'm not not calm, but thanks lol, no need to ask for it to be removed, it would be rather dramatic! :)

I think the vast majority realised your comments re running over cyclists was a tongue in cheek comment, OP.... and more than likely also the ones who seemed to take it seriously

Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover, not make a snidey comment

Damn right! What an ungrateful bitch!

She just sounds entitled and rude, there was no need to snap at your friend it’s none of her business what she was doing. I hope your friend is ok and can scatter the ashes soon.

People are perpetually offended at the moment. It’s exhausting. If someone you don’t know and will never see again is slightly snappy because you did some minor thing (driving in lockdown) which they think is wrong while they were doing some other minor thing (lollygagging in a car park) which you thinks is wrong, and that drives you to tears then may a suggest you borrow a grip.

and that drives you to tears then may a suggest you borrow a grip

The friends relative just died... I've been driven to tears by less in similar circumstances because of emotions running high.

May I suggest you borrow some empathy?

Missing the point here, but i didn't think you could just scatter ashes anywhere without permission?

And similarly, your friend has no idea of the circumstances of the cyclists.

Getting really fed up of the Covid-Police, whatever the situation.

I'm sorry your friend lost a relative but from what I can see online your friend was breaking lockdown rules. Leicester Council say you can only make essential journeys. Funerals are considered essential but scattering ashes isn't and the advice is to wait until lockdown is lifted.

Ffs. Find something serious to whine about!

May I suggest you borrow some empathy?

No. The OPs relative hasn’t just died or I wouldn’t have said it. That’s not what she’s claiming to be upset about. It’s complete projection onto some random woman who has been a bit stroppy. Maybe she has had a relative just die too. Maybe it’s a special anniversary. Maybe she’s just been made redundant. Maybe the bloke has just dumped her. You don’t get to be vicariously arsey through other people’s grief. The friends isn’t being unreasonable to be tipped over the edge, but the OP is being unreasonable to blame the woman who she knows fuck all about. I lost a relative 2 days ago. She was 22, just on the cusp of life. Can my friends bitch about you, a stranger, for some mild criticism on the internet because I’m grieving?

I dont know tbh. If people aren't meant to be driving to exercise then should she have been driving to scatter ashes? Its non essential, really. The woman may have just been flustered because they didn't expect anyone to be pulling into the car park. Not like she called her a cunt or anything.