Aibu to be angry

[Pollypocket89]

I'm so angry. I've just had my friend in tears down the phone because of an arsehole stranger. My friend lost a relative and today drove to a local area to scatter the ashes. As she pulled into the car park a couple of cyclists had decided that was a great place to stop and have a drink... She waited and the man said sorry and thank you and the woman snapped that she shouldn't be driving anyway.

When my friend said excuse me she said that no one should be driving for exercise in the local lockdown (my friend is in the Leicester lockdown area and only drove within the lockdown zones, not breaking any guidelines anyway). They both said she was wrong though the male not unpleasantly

She's so upset and now doesn't feel she can scatter the ashes as it's taken away from the moment. Youd think the woman would have been grateful not to have been runover, not make a snidey comment

Why can't people mind their own business, they have no idea what other peoples business is. I wish I could get to my friend but I'm too far away but ffs. I've told her to try and remember some people are entitled arseholes but it's not helped her

Just an FYI, you can drive locally for exercise so no, not breaking any bloody guidelines. Thanks to those who understood what I actually said, I genuinely appreciate it

@PlumForDinner

Sorry OP you'll have a thread full of people now banging on about the comment about the cyclists being run over.

I understood what you meant, they shouldn't have stopped where they'd stopped and could have caused an accident if your friend hadn't noticed them in time and stopped.

And I don't think YABU. I hate how no one seems able to mind their own bloody business at the moment. It's tedious. Tbh I don't give a shit why the person I pass in the street is there or where they came from or how they got there. It's nothing to do with me and I'd never dream of commenting on it.

I find people like this are nosey arses in regular life and are thriving now they have what they deem as a justification for being so.

Totally agree.

Thanks Staffy1

I think they sound mean and stupid for stopping where they did.

I personally wouldn't have scattered. The ashes after that as it would take away from the memory for me. I hope your friend is okay

No. The OPs relative hasn’t just died or I wouldn’t have said it

No the OPs FRIENDS relative has just died. Which is true and the reason why the friend was brought to tears by the encounter, not OP, the friend who's relative had just died. So yes I stand by my original comment that your suggestion the friend get a grip for being brought to tears by a rude woman on her way to scatter the ashes of her relative was lacking in empathy.

Polly no they weren't nice, nor sensible where they stopped and the woman was an arse who was rude

Yes your friend has a right to drive

Yes it's understandable she felt like she didn't want to scatter her dead relatives ashes right after that as the memory would always be associated with the rude woman's words , so she needs to do it another day.

But... the cyclists wouldn't have known nor even imagined what reason she was there for. How could they? It wasn't a hearse. So it really wasn't a deliberate attempt to upset a grieving lady on a terrible and special trip for her. Once you accept that, it takes the sting out of what they did. A mundane episode of rudeness from a random person that isn't important in the scheme of things and should soon and best be forgotten.

When your friend feels better- and you also need to digest this so you can calmly support her too, so you don't exacerbate her distress- how about you and she talk about her doing it on another day and the lovely things she wanted to do for her relative.

I find that 5-6am is very quiet, the day is just waking up and is more magical for the silence and newness of the morning. That's when I'd scatter their ashes... maybe you of can go with her (in separate cars) to social distant stand nearby to also pay your respects and support her. That'd be nice

Thank you for the lovely normal posts x

Neither of us think it was a deliberate attempt to ruin something important for my friend. My point was more an in general, don't be a rude twat to strangers for no reason. No one has any idea of anyone's circumstances so people should mind their own business

Shell definitely do it another day :)