AIBU to think my neighbours are being completely disrespectful

[charley39]

Ongoing issues with our neighbours. They just have no respect for other people or other people’s property. We share a driveway and the children feel it is okay to ride their bikes all over our side and in between our cars. The teenager has mates round making noise by the garage till late at night. The children from both houses either side also play out the front unsupervised for what feels like all day every day now they aren’t at school. Start to believe that it’s us that’s the problem and not them?

Riding bikes next to our cars is the only thing there I think you can be annoyed about, the other stuff YABU. Playing outside unsupervised isn’t your concern and unless the teenagers are blaring music down the street at 4am from the garage then you have to accept some noise I’m afraid.

Can you have a quiet word about the noise and playing by your cars if it bothers you?

I think we are all in each others way, but I have noticed neighbour issues increasing over the past 10 years everywhere.
something has changed, people are different, but cant put finger on why.....

I hate it when people suggest someone is over reacting.
many are working from home now and have suddenly realised their environment is shit.
its easier to ignore when out of house for 8 hours or more a day.
and the kiddies are off school.....

I would imagine councils are inundated with shit right now.
we are all cramped together too closely in the uk, I think it has created a sort of psychosis
and heck do we pay a premium to live in our overpriced little boxes....

@beatrixpotterspencil your right in that sense, the UK is too tightly packed with housing so everyone is on top of each other so there’s bound to be issues! However people need to live their lives, we have to accept people come with a degree of noise. I’ve worked from home for years, does building work and banging next door through the day bother me? Yes but there’s sod all I can do about it so there’s no point getting worked up!

@beatrixpotterspencil totally agree. We are far too closely smooshed together and you end up knowing business that you don’t want to. And noise and attitudes and stuff, you end up resentful of neighbours as well. It’s a horrible way to live. There are far too
Many homes squashed in. And new builds are made for cardboard so god knows what the travelling noise is like in those houses!

Sorry that you are having these issues 😔 Not wanting to de-rail the thread not Beatrix Potter... Yes! This!
Whether it's parking, housing, busy parks/beaches or even just picking up a loaf of bread in the corner shop, it just feels like there are just too many people all trying to be in the same small spaces! Causes a lot of tension.

We have similar issues. A row of four houses a little down from us a created a little social 'team' (for want of a better word) during proper proper lockdown. At first it was quite cute for them to all be out on the driveways, with their garden furniture and bbq's, having a drink etc. Now it seems to be a more permanent arrangement despite being back at work /school and, although I can't complain about it being late, it's constant chatter and kids running around screaming until 10/11pm at night. They're In and out of everyone's front gardens as well playing hide and seek etc. With the added bonus of various family members and friends of theirs now being able to join in... 🙄 So annoying when I have small children to be getting to bed! There's not a lot I can do about it, but wanted to let you know I share your annoyance! I don't consider myself a killjoy at all but... come on!

Couldn't have put it better myself @beatrixpotterspencil

*but

You would be petty to complain about them crossing the imaginary line onto your drive but being near your cars is not on.

You have absolutely no right to complain about them playing out.

What did they say when you asked them to turn the music down (or off if late)?

The issue is yes the noise of screaming kids outside 9/10pm at night when I’ve got a little one trying to sleep is no fun. This used to happen in the winter on school nights. I do think we are noticing it more due to no school for so long now. Unfortunately we didn’t buy a house to have it turned into a playground outside our front door and everytime we want to drive off it’s an obstacle course of bikes and scooters to dodge. We have a line down our drive so it’s very clear who’s side is whos.
It’s clear to us it’s easier for them to shove their young children out the front of the house to play so they don’t get the noise. The other two houses have their living rooms at the back whereas ours is at the front therefore they get all the peace and quiet. I just know the way I have been brought up and how I will be bringing my child up is to not show a lack of respect like these people do.

Have you ever actually spoken to them about it OP? People can be very oblivious to how their actions bother other people.

It’s clear to us it’s easier for them to shove their young children out the front of the house to play so they don’t get the noise. The other two houses have their living rooms at the back whereas ours is at the front therefore they get all the peace and quiet. I just know the way I have been brought up and how I will be bringing my child up is to not show a lack of respect like these people do.

Sorry but this sounds very judgmental - kids like to play outside that’s reality.

I know that kids love to play outside and I do believe there is a time and place for this. They start as early as 7.30am screaming and shouting outside and until 9-10pm. Age ranges of 4-7 in my opinion is too young to not be supervised. The children could disappear and no one would notice.
We have had conversations with them on many issues including neighbours driving on our front garden. Seperate parking issues within a week of moving in.

Could you put a fence/ hedge/ something up?

I agree put some fencing/bushes or something up- get some shutters or blinds for your living room if you haven’t already. If the drive has a line down it put a barrier or something up.

Apart from moving that’s all you can do, they won’t keep their kids in just because you don’t like it I’m afraid.

The teens are surely outside/by/in the garage because Covid restrictions mean they can't be inside.

The bikes would be annoying. The rest is life in a place where there are families eith kids.

@Teacaketotty we are going to look into railings or a fence or some sort but just measuring to see if we could still get into our car etc.

Children playing out the front is normal. This part of your complaint is not reasonable sorry.

Children driving bikes between cars is an accident waiting to happen.
You can get a retractable tape or retractable washing line to mark off your area when cars are parked. You may wish to put up a cctv in case they accidentally damage the cars. This is a reasonable complaint.
I would speak to them about the house after 11pm if it is a regular event

If you feel they are being disrespectful then they are being disrespectful, you do not need strangers in internet to tell you your feelings and thoughts are wrong. I can 100% see where you are coming from. I do not let my kids lean on other people’s fences and properties but plenty if people on street do! I feel the parents are disrespectful for not respecting my property like I show respect for theirs. I think a lot of people where I live do not have any manners or common courtesy. They feel entitled.

@Binny36 thank you! Exactly what you said has summed it up x

@cabbageking good point on cctv as we know if they did damage the cars the parents would argue it all day long

No problem OP. I have gone through this so many times with my neighbours on the right. I have posted on mumsnet to be told how wrong I am. Obviously we can only give a snapshot of what is happening no one can feel or live through the daily annoyances. People are very quick to dismiss things like “oh it’s not so bad, it’s normal”.

Hope Things improve x

@Binny36 yes when your living it 24/7 it’s really not that funny anymore! Unless you have experienced it personally I don’t think people understand x

It will be better when the schools go back, I think everyone is going nuts.
I'm lucky my entire close is elderly people so it's always peace and quiet here.
In my last house it was basketball thumping and trampolines day and night driving me nuts.
I managed to get through my entire childhood without either or screeching until 10pm.

This would drive me mad. Yanbu

Op, good luck with telling your child she can’t go out to play with the other neighbour hood kids when the time comes. And keeping her in. That’s going to be, I assure you, miserable for all of you

If you feel they are being disrespectful then they are being disrespectful

That’s just silly. I think you’re being obnoxious rude and horrible. Does it mean you are? According to your logic yes, you totally are. Clearly you’re not. Just because someone feels something doesn’t mean their feelings are right. Hence the point of asking.

People feel many things about people. And yes, often they are in the wrong.

As @Binny36 says there's a lot of problems caused by entitlement, as a child it was made plain to me that if I annoyed the neighbours I would be in trouble! New builds also seem to cause trouble, paper thin walls, shared drives and a lack of fences throw in people who blast music out, allow their dogs to bark and park where they like. It all boils down to consideration for your neighbours